Journal Entries
Hydro Eclectic
Posted Mar 10, 2003
The level of diagnostic questioning by some companies really astounds me. With only a few questions, they can determine that very desirable deduction; "It's someone else's problem!"
A customer called saying an overhead line had been brought down and was lying across her lawn and her neighbour's garden.
This customer had at first thought it was an electricity line and had called the Hydro board.
Their line of questioning was:
Hydro: "Is the line sparking?"
Customer: "No."
Hydro: "It's BT's."
The customer then called through to BT to report it.
Discuss this Journal entry [1]
Latest reply: Mar 10, 2003
Bonehead BT
Posted Jan 23, 2003
As a 151 faults operator, one of the less frequent faults reported to us is CIE FAX, that is a FAX sent in error to a customer without a FAX machine.
BT's way of handling this is simple, to send a FAX to the company responsible explaining their possible error.
This week, BT have finally allowed us, lowly humble customer service advisors (CSA) to send FAXes for ourselves!
Having filled in the form correctly, I was confronted with a FAX machine that refused to send outgoing transmissions. The error message displayed? "OUT OF PAPER."
Two other CSAs left the machine stating it was "Broken."
Three unsuccessful pleadings with managers failed to materialise any paper, so I used the pile of already sent forms to fool the machine and managed to send the FAX.
The manufacturer of the FAX machine responsible? BT.
As if this wasn't bad enough, on the way back to my desk I passed my own manager walking about with very sharp scissors held in front of him, snipping them.
Discuss this Journal entry [1]
Latest reply: Jan 23, 2003
Management Are Wrong
Posted Jan 7, 2003
Recently I was unable to log in to my computer at work. Naturally I decided not to take calls from customers, as I would be unable to assist them.
I was wrong.
I was told to take calls and call them back when I could log in.
I took ninety (90) minutes to log in.
During that time I formulated Saxon's First Law of Temporal Management
W0 = Ct + Aw + As + D + (CB^D)
W1 = D + Ct
For all D: D > Sumof(Ct) -> W1 < W0
KEY
---
W0 : Manager's Time Management
W1 : Saxon's Time Management
Ct : Call time. Time talking to customers
D : Log on delay.
Aw : Writing Address
As : Spelling Address
CB : Call Back time.
Theorem : As taking calls when computer not available requires more time to write address (for security validation), spelling addresses takes longer than normal calls. Also as delay continues, call back of customers becomes more difficult, as customers will have left premesis, left call box, or otherwise have become uncontactable.
However, Saxon's theorem for time management always completes the same amount of work in less time for all delays that are shorter that the total length of all normal calls that could be completed in the same amount of time.
Discuss this Journal entry [2]
Latest reply: Jan 7, 2003
Emotional Disability
Posted Dec 27, 2002
How do the Vulcans cope, one wonders.
What do you do if, like me, you have no sense of boredom? Boredom is one of the essential emotions we feel. Its nature's way of saying, go and do something before you fossilise.
But spending so many lunch times alone in the school playground, I premanently destroyed my sense of boredom.
As a result, as I sit here at work, with no calls to answer, and a very restrrictive firewall, one is left with few options.
Conversation with fellow cunile dwellers is impossible, as their lives revolve around such subjects as new ringtones and GTOs (whatever they might be).
I could make a list of all the faults with the in-house software, but who would read it?
Here I sit, unable to do work, but not able to go anywhere either. Damn, I think my legs have fallen off.
Lethargy is beginning to set in.
I wish I was a narcaleptic.
Discuss this Journal entry [1]
Latest reply: Dec 27, 2002
Atlantic_Cable
Researcher U196159
Write an Entry
"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."