h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Since you like that one, I'll tell you what it means. That is the word for the disgusting nose slime my beagle leaves on my car windows when I have to take him to the vet.

There is no shame in a moped. Cars are over rated. I barely drive mine. Since I live so close to campus and I work on campus, I ride my bike every where. It's funny how when I didn't ride my bike on campus I was always mad at "those damn bikers" for almost running me down. Now I'm mad at "those damn pedestrians" for getting in my way. Such is life.

Your word sounds very appropriate and I suspected it was something to do with slime or pus of some kind.

Thats right there is no shame in a moped at least I tell myself this when people laugh at me, as I zoom by at speeds of up to and including 40mph! (downhill anyway). I think I'm too big for a moped though and have been told I look like a monkey on a stick (and can probably achieve similar velocity). I'm a great believer in road rage I get angry with lorries that try to run me over, bicycles (because they're smaller than me) and pedestrians for not moving out of my way when I drive on the pavement.

All this college talk is making me anxious to get back which I won't for another couple of weeks and after a dodgy repeat sociology exam.

I'm surprised your beagle can survive in a college enviroment I find any pet that remains in an area containing drunken students is liable to be spraypainted or fed drugs of some kind. But maybe your more sophisticated in America or possibly just more so than my friends...

My beagle thrives in the college environment. He has been fed beer, but he didn't seem to like the taste, so now he just ignores it. There are no drugs around my house, well no serious drugs anyway and I believe the worst thing he has eaten, was a whole chocolate cupcake. Supposedly chocolate is supposed to be like poison for dogs, but beagles have tummies of steel.

He loves it because the drunker everyone gets, the friendlier they get (in most cases) and that means more belly rubs for him. Also the drunker they get the more food they drop. You can see how this works out in the best interest of the beagle.

Classy is not the word I would use to describe my friends.

By the way, I would like to get a clear mental picture of the moped thing. How tall are you?

Classy is definetly not the word I would use to describe my friends either, but I am as classy as them if not classier.
I'd say the most steely part of a beagle is it's stomach all though perhaps they have steely gazes as well I'm not sure if I've ever met one. But if I do I will test this theory. Never try outstaring a cat though, it's impossible (and there is probably better ways to spend your time).

I'm roughly 6 foot 3ish but never really measured myself formally as you don't get too worried about your height when everybody has to look up at you. As well as being tall I'm also dark and handsome (modest too) but despite this still look stupid on a scooter.

Hope this helps






*

Ahh, modesty abounds.

I wouldn't say beagles have steely gazes, more like glazed over, out of focus blank stares. The consensus of most people who meet my dog is that he looks stoned. Apparently he has a dealer on the side that I am unaware of.

There are several things even the most attractive person cannot look cool doing. #1. Sneezing. #2. Eating spagetti #3. Putting on scuba diving gear.

Perhaps riding a scooter is part of this list?

Yes I'm especially modest on the internet as I have the advantage of no one being able to see me and say any different (not that they would of course).
Riding a scooter shall be added to the list presently along with gurning perhaps. Your dog seems to have a good life what with drunken parties, getting stoned and I presume getting all it's meals prepared for it. Makes you wonder at the advantages of being human at all really. All though that may be slightly pessimistic, but then I'm feeling slightly pessimistic this evening as I have an exam tomorrow.

My main concern is that my exam is in the 'main hall' and I don't know where this is in what campus or anything. According to the handy map I was given in first year it doesn't even exist (but on the up side it sounds like it's big and important enough not to miss). Anyway I won't bore you with my inane problems I have studying to do..

Ah yes, the helpfulness that comes from a campus map is about equal to the windgust from a butterfly's wings. I think it's because (at my school at least) the maps are made and distributed through the Parking and Transit Department and that is without a doubt the most evil department on capmus, even more so than the Math Department.

Well I think the same thing about humans and dogs each morning when I leave my house to be at work at 7:30 a.m. The dog is stretched out on the couch and gives me a look like, "Glad it's you and not me." I think the only thing I would miss about being human is the chocolate, since dog's aren't supposed to eat it. But seriously, chocolate, that's all.

Hope you found your mystery building and the test went well.

The test went fantastically well the two things that I studied just happened to come up and it was an hour shorter than I thought it would be. Still maybe fantastic is a slight exageration for any exam.
The 'Main Hall' apparently is a synonym of 'Sports Hall' which leads me to athinkin it was thought up by the crazy English department. I don't think our college has a Parking and Transit Department (unless they're located in the basement somewhere and maintain a very low profile, as is probably nessecary to avoid hate mail)

Can't butterfly's wings create tidal waves? or is that one of those old sayings that is completly nonsensical like keeping your eyes peeled? mmmmm...

I don't know about the most annoying department but the most annoying society has to be the wargamers (no offense intended if you are a member) with a close second being the political societies, perhaps except the radical left wingers who are pretty amusing.

I don't eat chocolate so I will be starting my dog surgery shortly (I'm not Amish or anything I just found it easy to give up, not that I was likely to be Amish*)

7:30 is too early.

Fred


*No offense if your Amish

I'm not Amish. I watched a comedian one time who said he decided it was safe to make fun of the Amish because it's not like they were going to see him on TV or anything. Okay, well. Good thing about the test.

I don't know what wargamers are. Please explain.

I have found that any radical group can be pretty entertaining.

As for the butterfly wings I think I got that from that Chaos Theory thing, an example of it being if a butterfly flaps it's wings in let's say Oklahoma, you'll get rain instead of sunshine in Ireland. Personally I think someone just needed a thesis topic and pulled that out of their nether regions.

I agree with comedian that it is just about safe to make fun of the Amish as they're one of the few minority groups that can't stand up for themselves and are too far away to come and beat me up.
Wargamers are people who play board games but not just the odd game of monopoly or scrabble but things involving dwarfs and orcs and are prone to obsessive behaviour and detatch themselves from real life and make bad jokes (bit like myself really)

On the subject of dwarfs and things did you ever read any Terry Pratchet?

Radical groups are very entertaining as long as they're not trying to attack you. Friend of mine is a hardcore Anarchist and I was suprised to learn the really hardcore anarchists don't actually smash things, they just winge and wear sandals.

I hope you were being ironic about sun in Ireland and hope you can find the antithesis (not sure about that word) that stops rain. I suggest you run around America with a butterfly and I'll keep you posted on whether it's working.

A unique skill I think to be able to pull thesis's out of your arse will arse be censored?

Terry Pratchet sounds familliar, but I do not think I have ready any. Okay, I get the wargamers things. Like people who play Dungeons and Dragons and dress the parts. There is a midevil society on campus like that and they are always in the park where I walk my dog and they are practicing jousting.

Is there still a demand for jousting talent? To be fair they are always nice to my dog, but I still don't hang around for too long. I'll work on that butterfly thing. There is a new hip trend here and that is to release a bunch of butterflies after your wedding, you know, instead of throwing rice.

According to the chaos theory, that could start a tidal wave.

I lied. I have read a Terry Pratchet book. I cannot remember the title, but I remember the cover of the book, very bright greens and purples. It was a fun story. On the subject of dwarves, I think he has a vivid imagination.

Hmmm, a reply to something 1 and a half years later seems a little ridiculous. Oh well. I agree a master's in writing could be overkill, except I want to teach at the college level, so I have to have it.

I am teaching one class right now, so I guess it's worth it. Also, staying in school as long as possible is a great idea to me. PhD, here I come!