h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm sure the penguin killer broke the seat. He brought it to my attention when I got home last Sunday. What he said was, "you know you need to lose some weight when you crack the toilet seat with your ass". Apparently, he'd dropped the roll on the floor, leaned down to get it, and cracked the seat under his weight.

I'm going to purchase a new one myself, to ensure it's not replaced with something horribly cheap and shoddy, and then deduct it from my rent check on the 15th.

As for that chat, of course I'm still up for it, could do an hour, hour and a half before nap time. I'll log onto MSN now!

Hey folks!

Psychocandy, my continuing best wishes for your health!

I'm vegetarian too, but my diet is extremly simple. No fancy-sounding stuff ...no exotic herbs and spices ... just plain stuff like potatoes, rice, beans, lentils, nuts and seeds, fruit, and vegetables like cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, and so forth. With some eggs (free range!) and dairy products every now and then, I have no qualms with those. I don't even follow recipes ... I basically just chuck some stuff together and eat it. I'm no gourmet, but I do enjoy eating, and my simple sustaining diet is quite satisfying to me. I'm just a bloke here in Africa ... many people on my continent eat much worse than I do, and not by choice. But anyways ... reading about other people's food can be interesting!

Hello, all!

Feeling much better, though a bit hoarse today. Thanks again for all of your continued wishes for health- they've worked!

I've decided to nix the pot luck, it's scheduled for an hour after my lunch break and I'm not going to prepare anything if I won't be eating any of the spoils!

I am making some creamed mushroom soup tomorrow or Wednesday, though, and sending a bunch home with K for his roommate who had her appendix out last Wednesday.

K was kind enough to install my new toilet seat for me Saturday. He's an absolute , it wasn't as easy as it should have been and he wound up rolling around on my bathroom floor for the better part of two hours. Thankfully, I'm very clean, especially the bathroom! I did treat him to dinner afterward, and then we watched this DVD with his roommates and a couple of their friends. It was a program called "How's Your News?", about "mentally retarded" (politically incorrect terminology, I know, but it's how the liner notes described it) folks who travelled cross-country conducting interviews on the street with a very interesting cross-section of people. It's supposedly been slammed for being really offensive and exploitative: I saw neither. Some parts were appalling, some touching. It was one of those documentaries you know is going to affect people very, very differently, depending on their attitudes toward the disabled.

Yesterday we hung out with his parents, I watched them bowl again, then we went back to their house, made pizzas for dinner, and just chilled out all evening. It was really nice!

Tonight I guess it's a DVD of the Muppet Show with Peter Sellers as guest from the Netflix. I've been looking forward to seeing this one!

I love Peter Sellers
OOOH I need to see some!

Enjoy!

PC I never told you that I watched the Stem cell show that S Park did. You had suggested it one night on Teris thread.
I had not seen it before and it was a good one.

You have mentioned good stuff I enjoy a number of times!
Thanks for another reminder.

*seeking humor*

Zoo vant ze hoomoor; j'ai cherche..

try zis for starters; passed to me by RK

*oh hell, can't work out how to do it; RK post the eaglet please!*

In the meantime try this, can't remember who sent it but it's quite funny!

****IF MEN WROTE PROBLEM PAGES

Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.

A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can only bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you’re still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.

Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.

A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day: then cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.

A: This is perfectly natural behaviour and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it’s great time to clean the house too!) Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he returns home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband doesn’t know where my clitoris is.

A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.

Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.

A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should; He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal.

Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one.

A: I’m not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you’ve forgotten to cook him a nice meal.




zdt

ROFL!

Thanks Terri! Good One

Reminds me of this one:


The husband had just finished reading the book "Man of the House".

He stormed into the house and walked directly up to his wife. Pointing
a finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you to know that I
am the man of the house and my word is law!".

"I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight and when I'm finished, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you're going to draw me a bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"

His wife replied, "The fcuking funeral director".

Nice one vix!!!



zdt*honest we love guys really*

glad you liked it..

Those were great, Vix and Terri! I can't wait to share those at work!

Abbi, I'm glad you liked that South Park episode. It made me think of you; I had a feeling if anyone could appreciate it fully, it would be you. Those SP kids crack me up!

So, I've just prepared an Oreo cookies & cream pie for dessert/ dinner, and a pot of mushroom soup is simmering (unattended!) on the stove. Hopefully it will all be ready when K arrives. We didn't bother with dinner last night, we got sidetracked almost immediately . I'm not sure which videos we'll watch, maybe my "Day of the Triffids" and his "MotorPsycho". Can't wait!

No further updates on the work front: they're still meeting with various and sundry folk from the buying company, and still going through the Due Diligence proceedings. Hopefully I'll hear something either before Thanksgiving, or after I return from that long holiday weekend. The more time I have to prepare (and K as well, he's in the same fix), the better. Keep fingers crossed, please!!

All suitable bodily bits crossed for you both.

*yow*cramp*someone uncross that bit under there quick*



Enjoy your films, aww, you pair of romantics, Psycho type movies huh? Any excuse to snuggle up & be scared eh? "PC, save me, just ate my gerbil!"

zdt

zdt

Yep, there's nothing quite like a good old fashioned schlock, psycho, or killer mutant plant/bug/rodent/etc. film to put us in the mood.

Oh crap, there's the door!

Poor PC has only just realised that her apartment is full of mutant ninja killer doors, which are sneaking up on her even as we squeak.


BOOOO!

zdt*fully aware of all doors thank you.But beware the feline toilet brushes*

Day of the Triffids....fantastic...I had that as an id once on yahoo...

manic_triffid

*hehehee*

I've read the book too, superb!

I thought The Chrysalids was even better!

zdt

I'm sure I've read that too, but I can't remember the plot but the name rings a bell or two...

Well, we survived two big bowls of mushroom soup and a huge slice of Oreo pie apiece, followed by "Day of the Triffieds", Lucio Fulci's "The Beyond" (gorefest extraordinaire, I'm sleeping with my wooby tonight!) and two episodes of "Bottom". Now he's on his way back home with clean undies and socks, a full belly, a sackful of leftovers, and some of my best curry powder and Garam Masala for his roommate's chicken salad experiments.

I am down to my last cigarette and ready for a shower and bed, but wanted to check back and wish everyone a good night.

"The Chrysalids", you say? I'm drawing a blank here, will have to check it out and see if I've read it or not. Thanks for mentioning it!

Wow, you are making that Oreo pie sound good! Glad you had a nice evening!

Guess what, I bought some blue suede shoes tonight! I should do a journal entry on that.

JEllen

(lotta people on tonight, Terri, Hellbound, Abbi)