Journal Entries
Monday May 13th
Posted May 23, 2002
Ran ootta dosh so ah hud tae go tae ra bank tae get some bevvy tokens. Opint ma wallet in funna greasy burger onion wrappt aroon' ma keykerd 
Searched thru ma wallet furra resta ra 
but ra missus hid oabviously goat rerr first while ah wis ootra gemme, in snaffilt it. 
Pit ra onion in ma back poakit furra wee snack later oan, wiped ma keykerd oan ma trooserleg tae pitta wee bit merr grease oan it inra hope ah'd get some dosh fae some other punter's accoont, inra machine paid oot nae borra.
That's whit ah like aboot yon machines, thirr no fussy whit state you urr yer kerd's in. Noo if ah'd went intae ra bank hauf-jaked wi' ma designer keykerd, some snotty bastirt wid huv gied me ah funny look, sniffed, spent five minnits tryin' tae flog me a new credit kerd, in only ren let me huv MA dosh.
Discuss this Journal entry [1]
Latest reply: May 23, 2002
May 11th
Posted May 12, 2002
Ah kin take it thit thae don't like ye pukin' oor ra waitresses in Edimbra then, kinna?
Oh aye, in whit smuckin' fartass pit me oanra Newcassill train?
Discuss this Journal entry [20]
Latest reply: May 12, 2002
May 10th
Posted May 11, 2002
Ah've jist heard thit therrs some form a' national IQ test oan Setterday. Izzit jist me, urr dis any ither c**t sense ra BBC is awready tryin' tae massage ra figurrs by organisin not wan, bit two UK H2G2 meets rat day tae stoap uz eejits lowerin' wurr national averijj?
Well it wullnae work. Ask yersel who watches ra TV oana Setterday night anyway? Ra sensibill hauf arra country's oot gettin' p***t, in maist arra rest huv turnt aff efter Dad's Ermy, Flyin' Doakters, Barrymore urr whitever other pish thevv filltra Setterday evenin' slot wi' nooadays.
So thirr left wi' ra senile, ra bedridden, ra fleet street hacks fillin' up therr s****y papers wirrir "Scandal of British Education" crap, in other TV in radio producers waantin' tae make cheap foaly-up programmes. Aw so rae sad punters kin phone in it a quid a minute sayin' things wurr bettur in therr days. Oh yeah? So why awra f****n' adult literacy campaigns thivv hid since ra 70s?
Discuss this Journal entry [1]
Latest reply: May 11, 2002
May 8th
Posted May 8, 2002
Aw naw, disaster. Ah've really f****d up, big time wi' cherries oan tap.
Ah've goat an interview ramora. Whit's merr ah cannae even claim ra broo furra wee holiday trip cos it's jist doon ra road. S**T. This hus goat tae be worse rin gettin' draft papers thru ra door.
Discuss this Journal entry [5]
Latest reply: May 8, 2002
May 7th part two
Posted May 7, 2002
Ah jist saw an advert fur ra BBCi search injin so ah thoat ah'd gie it a wee go.
BBCi: "Search the web. Tell us what you're looking for"
Jimmy: "Sheep porn"
BBCi: "! Sorry This search may produce some results that could be considered offensive."
Oi! It's me thit's lookin furra wee bitta mutton matin' so who ra f**k is goin' tae be offendit? Jist whit is ra f****n point ah huvin' a search injin thit willnae search fur ye?
Ah mean tae say, ah could see thirr point if ah'd typed in "Lovely Lambs Lolitas" or somethin', bit ah widnae dae that (ah get aw that stuff affra newsgroups).
Discuss this Journal entry [1]
Latest reply: May 7, 2002
Jimmy Wuckfitt RIP
Researcher U193762
Write an Entry
"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."