h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

wow...I'm 40% his age...

*hits the *

Dream on, no way you're 20. Mabye 25...

Maybe its this drinking makes me look older!!!

*throws wine bottle at wall*

*Ducks winebottle* Thank goodness for good reflexes...

Very quick...I give it a 8.7!!!

All those years of dodging stuff because of my attitude is paying off!!! That, and my dad had good reflexes when he was my age, which is now 14...though, mom says you can't inherit reflexes...

Hey, thats great, have a joke as a present:

A man walks into a bar where he is ambushed by a nun. The nun says “Alcohol is evil, it is the devil’s drink”

“I beg your pardon” says the man.

“Drink rots the brain”

“How do you know?”

“What do you mean?”

“Have you had alcohol?”

“No of course not”

“Well until you do don’t lecture people about it until you have a drink yourself”

The Nun replies, “Well can you get me one, I can’t go into a pub dressed like this”

The man says, “What do you want?”

“Can I have a ladies drink?”

“Gin?”

“Yes, but can you put in a mug so people can’t see what I’m drinking”.

The man agrees, the man walks into the bar and goes to the barman and says. “Can I have a pint of bitter and can I have a double-gin in a mug please?”

The barman replies, “That ruddy nun is back again!”

Thanks! Mom says that's why they 'em Nuns, 'cuz they can't have any!

Here's another one, but it's not as funny:

A man is walking along the street when he sees a tenner stuck underneath a car tire. He stops to try and pick it up but the note is stuck. He tries to push and lever the car to no avail. He waits for the owner of the car to move it.

After a while he gets bored, so he goes to into the coffee shop across the street. He gets a table near the window and watches the car. He sees a road sweep come along, his heart rate increases, but the sweep sweeps past.

He sees a group of kids walk along, his heart rate increases, but the kids walk past.

He sees a little old lady walk along who drops her purse, right next to the car. His heart rate increases. A girl with a pushchair stops right next the money to help the lady pick up her purse. The man is sweating like mad.

The women move on and then the man sees the driver of the car leave the building opposite the cafe. ‘This is my chance’ thought the man. As soon as the car drives off, everybody else in the café races across the road.

I don't get it...'course my brain went bye bye a while back, so that might be why...

Everybody else in the coffee shop had the same idea. It's probabily one of those 'you had to be there' jokes!!!

Ok, i'm going to be really out of it for a while. (just warning you)

*builds barracade*

Just remember to give me the all clear

It's all clear, my brain made a temporary come-back. It'll probably be by the time you post though...

Oh okay, I'll keep the barracade up just incase!!!

Good thing you did...brain went bye bye...

Oh, have a cup of and sympathy!!!

Thankys! It sucks being sick...

Oh dear, have some more sympathy!!!

I'm almost better now, i had been sick for almost 2 weeks before i posted that comment