h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

He's a nice guy my mum likes him and even my ex mother in law likes him, if fact she trusts him more than she does her own son

I trust him and I've not met him(and you as well)

He's a good bloke

he has to be! he knows and puts up with me

He knows, puts up with and loves Me and Alex, the man's an

I'll drink to that, because there are 3 angels then in your family

Awwwwwwww

its the truth

be back on later

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Prof

Well, none of us are angels, I don't think.
Mike's a grump, I'm... a thingy or a house elf, and Ryan is a monster. A cute one.

"Sometimes I wake up grumpy, other times I let him sleep"

An oldie but goodie

It sounds like this book title I saw -
"I used to miss him....

...but now my aim is better!"

I've got something like that on a pencil

"I Still Miss My Ex Husband, But My Aim Is Improving"

Oooh, you reminded me of a fridge magnet I bought for my friend.
'Better to have loved and lost, than spend the rest of your life with the psycho!'

Love it

I like that one as well.

used to have two golden oldies.
"it's a beautiful day! now watch some ba****d louse it up"
" I'm always in the s***, it's only the depth that varies"

A couple I've seen in various jobs I've had are

"My Boss thinks I'm a mushroom because I'm kept in the dark and fed on S**t"

"I'm only doing this job because I'm too old for a paper round, too young to retire and too tired to have an affair"

nice ones, 1st one is

I heard that one during the first job I ever had