Journal Entries

Ex-Wives

Got two e-mals today--one from an ex-wife and the other from an ex-girlfriend. God, I miss my wife. Schools out for summer, except for Finals, so I won't be online as much. Tootles.

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Latest reply: May 8, 2002

Grasping @ straws...

I feel as though I have lost the ability to create art. These are the times it gets so bad, I have to wonder, perhaps I never even had it at all. I want, above all, to relay an experience so poignant and heartfelt, its merit/value cannot be denied. If my whole life has indeed been a quest to create that art then I have undoubtably failed in that arena too. That was the one place I thought my person was guarenteed a home. It is crushing to admit such ineptitude...

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Latest reply: Apr 30, 2002

Validation

Thanks to the hard work (and dedication of Frogbit) the monkey has been found.

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Latest reply: Apr 17, 2002

Schziophrenia

You could have no more taken me aside @ 18 to explain the intracacies and nuances of life than I could do for another at the same age now. Life is a learning process may not make for terribly interesting reading but it is true. I have gone and got myself in a jam again. Seems I can't stay away from self-destructive behavior and it ends up costing me a lot--in every way imaginable. Back on the sauce, so to speak. I live a double life and it isn't so romantic as Clark Kent's or Jimmy Bond's. I feel as though I am running out of room. Mild mannered college student sporting a 4.0 and on the Dean's List and combing the wrong side of the tracks by night for an escape from this painful drudgery. There are only so many guitars in the world to steal and pawn. Oh, it's not so bad--but it is not so good either...

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Latest reply: Apr 11, 2002

Table Manners

Language is a very limiting means of communication. I'd like to believe that with a gun pressed to my head I possess the ablity to convey my intentions. How many variations can one put on "I'm hurt and alone and I could use a friend"--w/o running the risk of over-sentimentality? This dog-eat-dog/milkbone underwear syndrom aside, I'd also like to believe strides can be made to make this world a "better place"--to take the bottom line/cost effectiveness out of the equation. Revolution trhough Rock n-Roll doesn't seem to be happening. Am I making the slightest bit of sense? Facts? Number crunching--dollars and sense? For whatever reason, I've never possessed such virtue. Still, nobody has to cling to the antiquity of oppressive politics. There is (still) "power (to) (in the) people"...

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Latest reply: Apr 6, 2002


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King of the Jews

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