Secrets to staying young...
Hello Froods,Thanks for stopping by. Hope I can help you with my philosophies for staying young.
Why do I feel qualified to give such sage advice?
*Could it be that I look almost 10 years younger than I really am?*Not really(though I do look that way).
*Is it because I studied psychology and sociology?
*Nope(though I have).
My reason is quite simple, I'm a field researcher for the Guide! So of course my information is sound.
Please read this next passage by dearly departed Mr. Adams (as best as I can recall it)"The purpose of having the sun go low in the evenings, in the summer, especially in parks, is to make redheads' breasts bob up and down more clearly to the eye. I am convinced that this is the case."
Why am I quoting this? Well that's part of one of my secrets for staying young. What? How many Gargleblasters have I had today, you ask? Actually none, yet. You see a certain Dr. Donna Bouncer did some research which I have tested. Her theory was that breast were good for a man's health. Okay, now that your done laughing, I'll continue. She took two test groups of men. One was to try to avoid looking at woman, the other was to devote as much time as possible to staring at woman's breasts. At the end of the test time both groups were given a physical. Those who ogled had: better blood pressure, calmer heart rate, an overall lower stress level. Through all these tests, Dr. Bouncer concluded that engaging in this behavior could extend a man's life by up to 20%. Amazing, but, true.
How did I test this? Well let's just say that this redhead I'm with, is shaped in just the right way, to make this 'very' easy to practice.
My other philosophies are simple quotes:
*Don't Panic
*It's never to late for a happy childhood.
*Magick Happens.
*Grin and ignore it.
*Banging your head against a wall, burns 150 calories/hour.(gotta have your excercise)
*Madness takes it's toll, have exact change. Stay Hoopy,
Live long and prosper,
Zaphod
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Zaphod Beeblebear
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