h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have a mental picture of a typing away while surrounded by squirrels and badgers and things who no doubt make critical comments from time to time.

Spiders can make life exciting at times. Mum got bitten by one on the day the undertaker was coming around to help us pick the right box to put my grandmother in. We asked if he did two-for-one deals. Mum wasn't all that impressed.

And now I'm off to do something perilous. I'm going to clean the kitchen. I may be gone some time.

You are evil.


Be careful out there.

The kitchen has been beaten into submission. Everything's so clean you could eat off it, which is probably just as well.

I shall shortly make a mess of it all again.

I should probably iron a shirt too, in honour of the first day in the new job. After the first day they can get to know the real me.

Well done ... I wish now that you could do mine.

We live at the base of an ironing mountain ... which won't be deminishing any time soon ... the thing is we add to it every week and it never gets any smaler.


Now this time thing is getting me again do I say for today or tomorrow.


I'll just say with your new job and hope you have a flying start.

It's today. Gosh. I have about an hour to fool about online, then I'll have to leave for a day of meeting 25 people and not remembering any of their names afterwards.

It's all rather nerve-wracking.

You must be a bundle of nerves ..... try to imagine them naked ... then type their names on their *bits* .... in your imagination of course.


Tons of luck from me and you'll be fine.

I'll be OK I'll be OK I'll be OK...

*thinks* What the blazes am I letting myself in for?

You are soooooo you'll be .


Take it easy there you haven't let yourself in for anything you aren't capable of.

Well, I survived Day One but I'm in no shape to say anything lucid about it. The first day always does my head in.

I need food, then bed, in that order.

Oh, I hope you're sleeping well.


Those first few days can be very emotionally draining ... take your time and all the sleep you need.


Aw bless ....

I slept like a log. Head on pillow, and suddenly it's eight hours later. It's been ages since I slept that well.

And now, Day Two. This will be better - I already know where my desk is, and where the toilets are...

Well you're ahead on points then .... if you can get yourself a cuppa' by the end of today you've it sussed.

I hope it goes just as well today - and after your sound sleep you should be ready for anything.

And so ends Day Two. I managed to sort out a few things, but I'm still in the dark about what it is that I'm actually supposed to do. I don't see that getting any clearer this side of Christmas.

But who cares? I'm still rid of my former employer.

Exactly, sleep well and keep chillin' I'm sure the new year will bring great clarity to your life and work.....



.... just call me Mystic Meg.

And here comes day three. It's almost routine now so I'll drop the capitals.

The big dilemma right now is deciding what to wear. It's about 12C now, but it'll be 25C later, so I need a shirt that looks OK without a jacket, and a jacket that doesn't clash with the shirt. *sigh* It's all so difficult.

Oh come on .... it's been Christmas before.


Don't fret ... all those new people will be wanting to impress you too, so just step out in what you would normally wear to work in that weather.


Men!!


Have a good day.

In the event it didn't matter what I wore 'cos I still spilt lunch all down the front of it. I bet people were impressed.

Never mind, it's not my favourite shirt - it's linen, and consequently not often seen in public on account of the need for ironing.

Today I finally worked out why one of my new colleagues looks so familiar. I've only seen her on the bus a few times a week for the last two years. Sometimes I'm observant - other times not.

That's the style ... wear your lunch.


Yes, when I used to to work I'd often later meet 'familiar' faces then try to figure out where I'd seen them before.


You never get a second chance to make a first impression.


Sleep well ... you've almost your first week over you.


.... and you've a weeks rest to look forward to.

Oddly enough, everyone's taking tomorrow off - except me. I must be in charge already.

It'll be a good chance to read legislation and other fun things, uninterrupted. There might also be some discreet shopping trips...

Wow, that was quick ... leaving the lunatics in charge of the madhouse.


I hope you are having a fitful sleep and enjoy your last day of work before the break.


Shopping indeed during the firms time too.... You must be a prize to get away with that.