h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi. Here's the seriousnes that didn't belong on 'Yikes'. I have no idea whether it's interesting.

Yes, there is a chance that Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, Queen of Australia and of her other Realms and Territories (as she is officially styled here) might find herself one throne the less sometime in the next few years. This won't be a Labor thing either, it'll be a genuine choice by the people in a free referendum.

You see, we didn't have a free referendum last time. That evil creature John Howard, anti-democratic monarchist hypocrite, rewrote the referendum question so that we only had a choice of accepting or rejecting one particular republican model. This model would have led to a President being appointed by Parliament rather than by direct vote. This was simply unacceptable - I mean, who'd trust a bunch of politicians - Australian politicians at that - to keep such a process honest and above-board?

If there's to be another referendum it will probably be on the issue 'Republic - Yes or No', with a follow-up referendum (if the result is 'yes') on the precise form of the republic.

I'm in favour of a republic. The empire gasped its last in 1947; it's time it was buried. An independent nation should have its own Head of State, not a time-share monarch even if she is a perfectly respectable and dignified old lady for whom we do have a fair degree of affection. (I mean, she's part of the furniture - for anyone under 55 she's just Always Been Queen...)

Right, I'm back to inane dross now. See you there.

Ivan.

Thanks for dropping by Ivan, help yourself to some and .


I think you're probably right in that you don't need the Queen anymore, I just think it's a bit sad - it's not as if she were actually doing anything over there anyhow. Just a figurehead really - no relevance whatsoever to Australians today.

I hope you will remain in the Commonwealth though and continue to send us your fine soap stars ... panto would be so dull without them.

Oh, we'd stay in the Commonwealth - it gives us access to an international sports carnival that we can dominate every four years.

If it's soap stars you want, I'll see about filling a shipping container with 'em tomorrow... They're everywhere here, you can't turn a corner without bumping into one of them pretending they don't want to be noticed.

Beig serious again for a moment - I've just seen your conversation with that self-righteous Jodan person. Jodan, Pinniped and their acolytes are the reason I left PR in the first place. They're in it for themselves, not for the Guide. I wish we had an 'ignore' function so I could use it on them.

Funny, but I've never considered an ignore function until this conversation came up .... now I'll put my name down for it.


I don't know any of them - but I can't bear that attitude in RL or virtual life. They're the sort of people that would have been on that space ship from Golgafrincham ... I think that's what it was called - from memory - I don't know whether you're a DNA fan or not.


Keep the soapstars btw.


I can well see the appeal of a Republic since you are on the other side of the world - I often wonder why so many feel the need to leave and *return* to blighty.

Are you sure you want us to keep the soap stars? If you change your mind just le me know.

It was the Golgfrincham 'B' Ark that crashed, yes. The individuals in question are no doubt directly descended from the committee that was trying to invent the wheel.

I know why so many British immigrants go home again after a while. It's because they get here and suddenly realise that it's not Britain in the Sun. The climate, the politics, the food, the social attitudes, the racial mix and the welfare system are all *different*. (I often have to deal with letters of complaint from British immigrants who say things like 'I've paid taxes in this country and I demand to be paid a pension'. Stiff. We pay our pensions on the basis of need, not on contributions during a person's w*rking life. There's one reason the whinging Poms go home. )

We must do something about geting an 'ignore' buton.

I think I just invented my own *ignore* button.


I know a family that went out to Oz not that long ago .... they came back on the next available flight I think. Well, they stayed for about 3 months - that's probably the next available flight ... right.

Having sold their house, car and all their possessions they found that Australia isn't Ramsey Street or Summer Bay.

I'd love to go there, but it's too far away for me ... I'm a real homebird - even a week in Tenerife makes me homesick.

I went to primary school in a suburb dominated by fresh-off-the-boat Britons. I am Australian-born, sixth-generation on Dad's side though Mum is fully imported, and some of these ghastly little children with Yorkshire accents used to tell me to go back where I came from. I can only hope they have all now gone back where *they* came from.

If they stayed here for three months I wonder what time of year they arrived. Summer might have finished 'em off.

I should get ready for w*rk in a minute. It'll be an interesting day, getting ready for a new Minister.

Well have a good day, and don't be giving the new boy a hard time.

That was a very strange day. We don't know who the new Minister is yet, but we know there will *be* a Minister (see 'Yes, Minister', episode 1 series 1) so we're all busily getting things ready for Mr/Ms X. It's hard to know if we're doing what will actually be wanted. But never mind, we get paid for it.

Oh the excitement .... it must be a buzz.


Whoever it is will probably be quite a change from the old regime - so the changes will probably come thick and fast.

Nothing's happening fast at the moment, but there are plenty of thick people interfering in the process... But that's management for you.

Well somebody has to do it ..... my ex-manager was a nurse for heaven's sake - how's that work What she knew about admin processes I could write on the back of a postcard. When I went there their filing system alphabet read from right to left. Not a bit of wonder they could never find anything.


I'm glad I kissed that job goodbye.


So, this new job of yours .... will it involve management.

There will be management, no doubt, but I'm proud to say that I won't be one of them. I'll be doing things that matter instead.

I have to go to one of those stupid team-building bonding things today. Not for my new employers, but for the mob of fools I'm leaving in a fortnight. How stunningly worthwhile.

Well just think of it as a day off work - an research for the options for teambuilding in the new job.

You're a bit brave starting a new job just weeks before Christmas, I hope it works out for you.

Anything might happen, and probably will.

The one thing I know for certain is that there's no chance of me writing for the Guide for a while - not until the change of government/change of job thing settles down...

Oh we wouldn't expect you to write an entry *and* run a country.


I like the tension of anything might happen and probably will .... it gives an added dimension to going to work.


I hope your good days keep coming.

Today will be a good day. I'll be gardening. Or at least I will be once I convince myself to get off the computer and go outside...

.... if that's what you like doing.


I've never been one for the garden .... don't have the touch for it. When I first moved out to this little village I grew sweet pea along the back fence - the following year I thought I was feeding and watering the same plants ..... turned out they were weeds I was tending.


No, gardening isn't for me.

During my first spring at this house I mulched the garden beds heavily with pea-straw. The next thing I knew, I had a fine crop of peas coming up everywhere. It was all very odd.

I must admit, I only spent a couple of hours fooling about in the garden this morning - then I thought 'this is a bit tiresome'. Once I'd hosed the dust off myself I went into town for the day instead.

Dust ..... in the garden ..... you see if I lived in a nice dry country I may consider gardening, but plodding around in the mud doesn't suit me.

I hope you didn't injure your back overdoing it.


Oh ... and you wouldn't be bothered with slugs and things in the garden you'd have to contend with killer s


Best stay indoors and have some until your back mends.