h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Thought that was a Chinese curse...Times are interesting, but the female company is yet to happen,prob'ly wont until I've got enough Chinese to say "Would you like to stroke my body hair?", (they have very litle, which made finding cheap disposable razors difficult).
And finding emery boards,(in spite of my highly original mime), is impossible), which was expected, ( diamond dust nail file confiscated in Hong Kong airport),but not not being able to find bamboo steamers , ( due to the prevalence of electric rice cookers?)
Fruit n' veg is very tasty, ( due to lack of artificial fertilisers etc., and being fertilised by human...manure.

Curses, blessings.... they're all the same thing aren't they? Just a matter of how you choose to process them?

Why don't they have emery boards there? Shall I send you some? Surely they use something to keep the ragged edges under control?

I didn't know that they used human manure for fertilizer either. Is it processed first or used raw? Must be a rather fragrant garden they keep...

Have you started teaching yet? That must be an odd situation as you don't speak much Chinese yet. Is it a terribly difficult language to learn?

I've been busy designing logos and business cards and working on the antiques. Took a couple of nights off to celebrate my birthday, still don't FEEL 40. I guess I must have had a misconception as to what 40 is supposed to feel like.

They seem to use the metal nail files which are some way short of useless.
Thanks for the offer, but mail from America could take an especially long time to arrive, if you grasp my meaning...
Besides, I like a challenge...
I am teaching, it stretches your mind to say it another way, and in both the classes and the street markets my miming is excellent...
...., ( series of dots without meaning for continuity's sake).
The fertiliser is unprocessed, where do you think the Chinese got the expression "Fragrant Garden" from?
(Belated "Hippy birfday to you, hippy birfday to You", as sung by Chinese girl trio in Nanning nightclub to god knows who in the audience).

Hotmailed to you some days ago, did you get it?

I didn't get it... that account has become a spam collection and when I changed puters I couldn't remember my password so I've let it go dormant. Must change my page, eh? Try this one without the astericks. *[email protected]*

My had kittens yesterday and they are soooo cute! I didn't think I'd like 'em, as I have the maternal instinct of a rock, but they are incredibly funny as they wobble about. I was pretty worried, as she was pregnant before but produced a litter of dead ones and feared that it would happen again when she went into labor on Friday morning and nobody arrived. Saturday when I got home she was in the middle of the living room with 5 live babies. That was truly a relief as she hasn't been quite right since the last batch.

We're having our first touch of coolish weather (lower humidity and actually going down iinto the 70sF at night.) Ahhhhhhh. Makes me frisky. I love October!

Must get some work done now, but am looking forward to hearing from you.

Humidity here must have been above 80 per cent in the last 5 days, but now we've had the thunderstorms perhaps I'll stop sweating when I'm just thinking...
Thought that was the page I emailed to, but I'll post later.
I've known some very maternal rocks, in fact my granite....

Oy vey. You're a gem, ya know. A chip off the ol' block.

Have you sculpted an email to me yet? I haven't gotten it if you did.

Sorry' had flu' then went in pursuit of very attractive Chinese girl with all the right mind bits as well, - First date, went to the Buddhist temple, had a good pray, she knows all about me, I don't even know if she's going out with my best Chinese mate, or seeing anyone.
Still, we talked solidly for about 8 hours and I'm smitten...
Did e-mail your earthlink, (?), account but it obviously didn't get thru'

Smitten is a wonderful thing. Might be a good idea to find out if she's already attached, though.

I haven't gotten any emails from you recently. Did you ever get my reply to the first one you sent before you left for China? I'm starting to wonder if maybe I accidentally blocked you when I got the first one and thought it might be some stranger trying to infect me with a virus.... that was a funny situation.

Tes it is.
Yes it would be.
I've sent several.
No.
I haven't got any cpmputer diseases!

No sense in wasting words, is there?

I don't know what the problem is but I suspect I blocked you. Here's the story I sent into limbo, glasshopper.

Once upon a time I got a mysterious email from an unknown source. It was a simple little message, something along the lines of "Did you get it? You'll know long before I will." It was followed by one of those auto-addons telling me to do something about a virus checker with a click-on link. So, being the paranoid MoGgie that I can sometimes be, I forwarded it to my non-resident puter guru and asked him if there was any way I could have gotten a virus from that message with no attachments. I made SURE not to click that suspicious looking link at the bottom.... figured all sorts of hell might break loose if I did.

Finally, some time later, I realized that the email came from you and that you had told me here that you'd be unable to go online for a while and it all made sense. Too late, apparently.

Soooooo.... do you have an alternate email addy you can try using? Or do you know if there's a way for me to unblock you? As usual I'm completely baffled by the magic in my puter and don't know how to creatively meddle with my email stuff.

Don't remember writing that, but could have done.
Try [email protected] as I couldn't get the Dallas Cowboy free email site to accept that if you went for the Other/ Abroad choice you really didn't have to enter an American State!
Are you guys all so insular?
( No, you're not are you?).
Things are quiet here until I invite her to my party...
I know I said no, but could you really send the emery boards?
I'm about to become one of those Indian fakirs, ( no, fakirs dear...) with the long twisted nails.
I'll give you a kiss at Christmas!
Don't if the postage is too high but hey, a letter would be nice...
Address , ( and name):-
Dave Beastall
c/o Broad Media International Culture and Education Centre,
F/6 7.1 Yuanhunan Rd.,
Nanning,
Guanxi.
China
530022

I now have a Chinese name that translates as White North Dragon..., the westernised Chinese and the kids laugh at it, someone told me dragons are always East(?), but I thought it up, it's to do with my love of dragons and Yorkshire, and I'm used to other people not getting it.
Been told it sounds quite Martial Arts as well...

White North Dragon, eh? I like it.

I'll pick up some emery boards this week and mail them to you. It can't cost too much I don't think, though I might opt for the slower mail. Do you prefer the coarse ones or the finer ones?

Have you had your party yet?

I had a great time for halloween, went to work as DEATH. I guess I did a good job on my makeup... most people didn't want anything to do with me. I had to get up at 5 am and put a skullcap on a friend so she could go to work as a Hari Krishna. Hoooooo boy. I'll never volunteer to do that so early again as it takes about 3 hours. I was pretty beat by the time we went out for cocktails that night but it was all worth it. I love an excuse for going out in costume.

Yes, I think it's cool, especially now I've found out that Jackie Chan is Chan Lung, (Chan dragon).
Thanks for the emery boards in advance,I prefer the coarse ones as they get the nails down to the right length quicker. Surface mail is fine.
My party happened, but I'm no further on with HER.
Must go now the school is closing.

Have been ill for a while, how about you, as you haven't posted?
I've been told that emery boards here are the equivalent of 5,( Damn, forgot the code for Pound again),.50p!

Are you feeling better yet? What ailed you?

I've been in a photographing frenzy lately, got my hands on a good quality digital cam and have been going bonkers taking pics. Actually got a couple of good ones, good compositions, I mean. Most of the pics come out pretty well. I'm working towards making a photo album of the things I like about Fort Lauderdale for a friend in Milan. Right now I've been sticking everything in there but will become more discerning as I accumulate better photos. If you feel like taking a peek and giving me your opinion it's here http://photos.yahoo.com/brittadani in the Ft. Lauderdale folder. I left that one open to the public.

I bought your emery boards and then forgot to mail them. Sorry about that, have far too many unfinished projects tucked around the house. I'll mail them tomorrow.

Food poisoning or gastro-enteritis. Either way, the runs, high fever/couldn't eat or drink without...consequences and pain.
Thanks for remembering the emery boards, tell me why aren't these projects getting finished? Is the reason male?
If not, why not?
I've spent too much here in the last couple of days, but hey you don't expect to find a pirate DVD of Easy Rider and Series 1 of the X Files in China, y'know?

No reply yet?
Must be a man...

This is getting towards the longest time you've been away....

Gone, and never called me mother!