h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

1. I buy a particular brand of ballpoint pen because of the way that it sounds on a particular brand of paper.

2. I have the wrapper from every cigarette pack that you've bought in the last five years, taped into a big roll in your office.

3. I have collected every bottle cap that has come off a beer bottle in your house in recent memory and the coffee cans full of them are taking up a space in your garage.

4. I have boxes full of your old desk toys.

5. I've spent more time constructing 5 pixel wide wallpaper tile doodles than you have doing anything else on your computer during one four hour period.

6. I actually have a favorite butter knife because of the tone it gives when you bang it against the counter.

7. There are books in the library that I cannot touch because of the texture of the cover.

8. I can tell which of the six battery-operated clocks in my house has stopped running as soon as I open the door.

9. I don't lock your doors because if there is anything of value in my house that a burglar can find, I'd rather let them have it if they will only leave a note telling me what it was, cause I can't find it, and somebody might as well get some use out of it.

10. I take out the trash after I've filled every bin in the house, no matter how far I've had to go from the kitchen to the back bedroom to get rid of an individually-wrapped imitation cheese slice wrapper...

11. My wife left me because she couldn't figure out what I meant when I told her to "tune that kitchen faucet, it hurts my ears when you have it at that frequency".

12. My co-workers don't understand that I have rituals for tasks that I didn't know how to do before I went to work there. Thus, each time I perform the task, I have to retrace the steps that I took to learn it.

13. I am calmer when other people panic because other people are always calm when I panic and thus I'm the more experienced in this area.

14. I know your neighbor's cats by sound and I know what my neighbors drive by make, color, year, engine size and tire wear pattern, but I don't know my neighbor's names.

15. I can find things in stores faster than the employees, but I can't find the restroom twice in a row without help.

16. You know where your keys are, all of them for the last twenty years, but you can't remember what they all fit, including the ones you use every day.

17. I am so often stuck mimicking the last person you talked to that when I call someone on the phone, they have to ask who I am until I begin to mimic them, then they recognize my bad impression.

18. I am always finding things at work that no one else notices and then they wonder why Ithink this is a good thing. Unless it is something everyone was looking for, then I get accused of having hidden it.

19. I have no fashion sense, comfort and familiarity being paramount, yet every once in awhile, I am accidently surrounded by people wearing the same sort of clothing. Then I am accused of "selling out" despite the face that I will still be wearing the same things fifteen minutes from now, when they will have become "retro".

20. There are people that I only see once in a month of sundays, yet every time we see each other we resume our conversation about how I just discovered what "a month of sundays" really means...

21. I smell everything before I eat it, drink it or smoke it because of bad experiences in my youth involving appearance versus taste.

22. If I don't perform your "leaving the house" ritual just right, then I will forget something that you need during the day. If anyone or anything interrupts my ritual, something really important will get left behind, like my left sock.

23. If I don't perform your "entering the house" ritual just right, then I will not be able to find something that I need for my "leaving the house" ritual the next day. The lost item may remain lost until my next move.

24. I have a bag or a briefcase filled with everything that I have ever needed but didn't have when I was away from the house and I carry it with me everywhere. Once in a blue moon someone needs something from that bag and I feel justified while they wonder, "why would you have something like that?"

25. I know which edition of the dictionary my preferred definition of the word "estuary" is in.

26. I notice the difference in lengths, by seconds, of TV commercials as they are first shown and their later truncated editions.

27. I can be listening to the Who's "Won't Get Fooled Again" on the radio, drive under a bridge, and be in the right place in the song when it comes in clear again.

28. I can watch thirty seconds of a movie that I've never seen before and guess what it is because I read the trades.

29. I can pick up a penny while wearing work gloves, but I can't walk through the kitchen without hitting my head on a cabinet door that has never closed properly.

30. I've thrown away pencils because you didn't like the way the finish of the paint felt under my fingers. And such a pity, too, because the graphite was just the right smoothness...


This was posted in another form in a foruae two weeks ago and was moderated. We'll see how it fares here.

Since this is my personal space, I believe I am granted ranting priviledges.

Maybe it's just my aspyism, but I have never gotten over the fact that while anyone can express their disapproval or discomfort at my behavior, I don't seem to have any feelings to hurt.
I guess I am just this protrusion into everyone's life that has to be blunted.

Guess what, blunting hurts.

Rant over. Not pointed at anyone.


Back to happy thoughts....
sleep
coffee
kittens
amber
round things

Lenny Henry and Dawn French on a lazy Sunday morning,
ignoring the dog...

4. I have boxes full of your old desk toys.


oops!






Well, maybe I do.

What was in there to warrant moderation?
Thank you so much for sharing such important aspects of your life. I think it's so sad when people react with fear, revulsion or derision to other people's characteristics that they don't understand.

I am glad you posted about yourself again TR

Maybe an unfortunate misunderstanding combined with an unfortunate understanding brought the moderation on. It is hard to decipher what happened since I did not see the first post in the other moderated thread.

I wished the offended person had gained some understanding of how it came about and more about who you are in the process; by you resubmitting it. Stated to be a restrospective re-write with the original post included might be helpful. Though I also see why you may not want to.

It reminds me of a time I was moderated for speaking about my body in the only way that truly fits. While I felt truly sorry for offending others and learned why it did , I still wanted to be able to reclaim that word for the "mis-takes" and frsutrations with my own body when talking in my own personal space.

I think it is good you own your differences.
Nobody else can.
In the oddest of ways not imaginable to others some differences hide some pluses. I think you do a great service to others who may have similar known and smiliar mysteries going on in themselves.

I loved reading about the Nuerotypicals in the Tefkat link. So much truth to why humnas are a mess in spots and create bigger ones by blindly allowing the mistreatment of others. I had read it before but read it again yesterday.

It was a good day to read it, a good day to read your new post here also.

<>

Crikey! *Checks desk drawers* Right, where've you hidden them?

Oops! again.

I usually don't have tourble with "I" and "U", but mostly "O".

!
No nuts, right?
I forgot my uppers.



















to have them made, that is....

You mean you're a gummy bare?

i thought we were all nuts.

"i thought we were all nuts."

Unfortunately, since this is a gubernment site,
not with out a diagnosis or diagnobro.

What about a diagnoma or diagnopa?

Hmm.
As long as it isn't a diagnobra...
I've lost weight recently, so I no longer need one.

'What about a diagnoma or diagnopa?' Que?

You've lost weight, tonsil?

"diagnosis or diagnobro"

started it.


Yes, I am down to about 229 with clothes and boots on according to the shipping pallet scale at work.

....Hi don't know if you have thought about this, but this would make a really good unedited guide entry.
.
...it would help` people to understand Apergers Syndrome, to give people an insight into how it feels like to have it, and to break down barriers...I know it helped me!
.
....I suggested the unedited guide as it wouldn't have to go through that long drawn out procedure of getting into edited guide....you just push the button at bottom when you type it to say not for edited guide entry.
.
.....you will have to include in title that it is about Aspergers Syndrome or it won't come up when people do a H2G2 search.

Hmm. There's a thought.

Might work - although you're not generally supposed to write in the first person, this might fit the 'my life as' type - like the 'my experience of cancer' type of entry. Mind you, as I remember when I was scouting, if it's just a list, it's not likely to get the nod from the towers.

"this would make a really good unedited guide entry."