h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

His name happens to be Tom Baker.

Does he wear a long multi-coloured scarf?

It remains to be seen,
but if he has an TARDIS, then maybe I won't need an divorce.

We had the last episode of a really terrific new series of Dr Who on Saturday. Very sad to see the new Dr Who leave after such a short time. Christopher Eccleston will be sadly missed. Not sure I like the new Dr Who, though. Mind you, I rarely like the new Dr Whos - I get attached to the old ones.

So, you're going down the formal route. How long will it take?

"the formal route" as opposed to what?

According to the lady I spoke to at the office, sixty days after the court papers are filed. Uvula has to appear before a judge and say the words,"no contest".

The whole thing is supposed to cost $650.000, which Uvula has decided is my problem since I am the one "wanting" the divorce.

Doesn't Uvula want the divorce? She walked out on you!

As I've tried to explain elsewhere, she wanted the separation, but not really a divorce.
She likes me a lot better when she can see me when she wants to.
She also likes me a lot better since I've lost weight, gotten less angry... and so on.
It's not that she wants to "get back together", but that she doesn't want it to end. Something about "losing the only love she's ever had".

Of course, her knowledge of the Willendorf Rabbit complicates things because she is accusing me of "replacing" her. Particularly since I shut off the conjugality.

Still sounds like wanting her cake and eating it to me. Mind you, didn't you say that she had been talked into moving out by her friends. There's also the fact that often people don't realise what they had until they no longer have it. For you, possibly, apart from the financial questions (and you had those when you were together as well), possibly the most unsettling aspect is not seeing Snooks regularly.

What has she to gain from remaining married? It wouldn't regain the conjugality, or is it the fact that you might move on?

Uh. Got me.
We have to face the fact that we may not be dealing with just one Aspie, but two.

Or three.

Up to a point, her reaction makes sense in the real world of other people's experiences, most notably, my fathers, with three divorces.
Beyond that point her reaction exists in the odd place where her world and my world intersected, a good five square centimeters of atmosphere, I would think.
Add to that the world of Shnooks, who shares or mixes many of our two characteristics, and you have clouds of strangeness.
Shnooks and I don't miss each other that much because we do many of the same things separately that we did together. Then we talk about them when we get the chance.
As for Uvula, she and I and Shnooks could be in the same room experiencing the same thing and she would be totally unaware of the actual event because she would be focussing on something wholly other, like if she has enough money to buy something on sale that she doesn't need at a store in another town that she doesn't need to visit for any other reason. Shnooks and I often found this very irritating. We are supposed to be the weirdos and here the "normal" person was flaking out on us.

So, if there is a rational reason for Uvula's reaction, then I am unaware of it because I am an irrational person.

Ah, compulsive spending on things whether you want them or not, doesn't last long. There's the high of the purchase, but then, you want to go on and buy something else. I think it's to do with the feeling of power you get when you're actually in the act of buying.

Some people do this with people (love/sex relationships) - there's the thrill of the chase and the high of 'being in love' (or having sex), which then starts to fade, particularly if you start to get to know the person, and the reality isn't as perfect as the person you thought s/he was. And so you start to feel dissatisfied and start looking elsewhere.

Well, that certainly wasn't the case with Uvula. She mostly left because she didn't like me being in the same house paying attention to what she bought and where she put it.
Add to this, she took my favorite antique table lamp with her and put it on a tiny table next to a window that Roddy liked to look out of. After yelling at the dog for a few months, she decided to put a couch next to the table next to the window. I received a regretful call from her the next day apologizing for the damn dog having broken my favorite lamp by running along the top of the couch and falling onto the table.
Nothing like dealing with experts.

If she took your favourite table lamp, I imagine you weren't going to see it again anyway, so probably whether or not it got broken is neither here nor there. It's also symptomatic of a relationship going wrong that someone breaks or misplaces something of value to the other person. Happened a lot with my ex-husband, who broke stuff of mine and lost stuff I'd given him. Thankfully, that no longer bothers me.

'She mostly left because she didn't like me being in the same house paying attention to what she bought and where she put it. ' Ah, guilt!

guilt would imply knowledge
I think that is giving her too much credit

They've taken in two cats and bought a cage for the dog, after shving off all his hair.
Shnooks is lounging around the house, doing as little as possible, while Uvula is working 11 hour shifts. Shnooks is supposed to be volunteering to do some community work or other this summer, but Uvula is either too busy or too tired to encourage this.
So Shnooks is on her own.
And Uvula is doing just what she's always done.
Controlling a little of this and uncontrolling a lot of that.

She called me this afternoon to ask why I never call her anymore.

And this, just a couple of days after I gave her and Shnooks my TV and DVD player because I didn't want them to go out and buy others.

When I used to do something like fall down and hurt myself, my mum used to say, 'Where there's no sense, there's no feeling!' - and I have the impression that this saying fits Uvula's state of mind.

Or maybe she's like those "cutters" who have to hurt themselves in order to feel anything.

What an awful thought!

People toss around the word
"feelings" like it's supposed to mean the same thing to everyone.
They use the word as a weapon and a defense, never realizing that
having the same "idea" pop up in your head all the time is an obsession, not an emotion or a thought.

Uvula is a feelings person.
When you catch her doing something she's not supposed to or she promised she wouldn't or just plain isn't socially acceptable, then she accuses you of deliberately looking for something to pick on in order to hurt her "feelings".

Well, "feelings" as something that you can "hurt" is different from a "feeling" like the obsession, unless you believe that the obsession is a living thing that she would rather cuddle than control.

Control freaks often use "feelings" to great effect, using embarrassment to get what they want.

That doesn't work too often with me anymore.
I'm tougher, wiser and maybe older.

I have to control my "feelings" and I expect other people to, too.

Having said that, I think that Tom Cruise was 1/2 right when he made Matt Lauer look like a twink.