h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well, I am blatantly looking for some kind words out there. I had a friendship more or less end on me this past week. It wasn't a big fight, it was just the realization and acknowledgement, by both of us finally, that we aren't close any more. It's been a long time coming. When I first noticed something was wrong, months ago, she said "I need time to find myself" After a few more months it was "Work is really busy right now." The final straw for me was when she changed her phone number, and didn't tell me. Subtle, eh? Sometimes I need a sledgehammer to get the message. I am left wondering what, if anything, I could have done differently. She said that she had "grown and changed" these last few months. Implying that I *have not*. I am also wondering, not for the first time, how much my bipolar illness has contributed to the breakup of a friendship. Could she not handle all my ups and downs? I'm feeling panicky about the other friendships I have, and my prospects for future ones. Every day this sinks in a little harder, and I have to face the fact that someone I was so close to doesn't want to be close anymore. To be fair she says we "will always be friends", but I think a friendship is like a flower, it has to be nutured to grow. You can't put it in cold storage and expect it to live. I realize that I am burning bridges by posting this - it is after all a public forum. But I am past caring. I need the support and kind encouragement of all my hootoo friends. Please do post a word or two.

JEllen

Hel2

to me it sounds she is has problen and not you. leave it with her.
just know it happens sometimes.

BIG , and "always try to look on the brighter side of life". <--That was me trying to sing, lolo.




pedboy

Hi JEllen

As you know, I've also watched a friendship die fairly recently (thankfully new ones have taken its place), and I understand a bit of what you must be feeling. My own partcular friendship had ben struggling for a while due to neglect, mainly on her part, I also wonder how much my ups and downs and ever-changing moods have had to do with it. Please try not to blame or second-guess yourself, JEllen, as hard as it is not to (and as much as I do it myself... )

I wish I had more time to be here this morning, but I'm going to leave work at 6:30 today come hell or high water and will be around this evening for sure. IM me if you're feeling lonely, I'll be around.



Take care till then
PC

I think that pheloxi is right, the problem is hers not yours.

Sometimes these things happen and it doesn't mean you are any less a good person.

Hi Ellen .No,I`m bi-polar,& I know that being bi-polar has wrecked 2 serious relationships of mine.Many friendships too;thus the depression .always following the manic high.It`s happened 4 times to me.I scare the s**t out of people when I`m manic.The last episode left me banned ,by police injunction,from a former friend`s house..I drank a bottle of champagne his now-dead mother had given him-something I would NEVER do when balanced...It is probably your ex-friends problem,to some extent-but if she`s seen you manic,I`d say that had a lot to do w/it..Having said all the stuff,I`ll now say : be ,you`re among true friends here..&,by the way,do I ever understand what you`re going thru.I`m on zoloft-supplied by a veterin friend of mine.Over the course of a year,it has gradually lifted me up from the depths I had plummeted to...& that`s a blessing! for be-ing my friend jellen-I you! LN

I'm not good at words and stuff, but I give a good

Jellen It has to be in part her fault!
It sounds like it needed nourishing a while back.
It is hopefully something you can look back on and see that it was not as genuine on her part as you thought, although that is sad.

I have always found you to be quite considerate,interesting and interested,open to others and truthful about how you are feeling. Friends take into consideration how you are feeling ,knowing when to push or pull. I think that makes a wonderful friend Most can be aquaintences, loyal friends are rare. She could have not have been close and delt with a friendship this way. Sometimes friends are activity friends or special interests friends. Lucky to have one really close sharing hearts & loyalty.More are gravy

You deserve to have more care of yourself in friendships than she has offered. She seemed to pick fights with you. is it that same person? I cannot imagine you picking a fight
I can imagine you rightfully asking real questions and having real expectations. Some people cannot handle that resposibility, maybe she could not. There are a lot of styles and levels of friendships. You seem quite cabable of sustaining them, of being fair and being open, caring.

My aol IM works Do U recall....recently how I "forget" about your health? I would accept it IF I did see evidence, but I have never seen any! We talked about that too

No need to worry about future freindships JEllen. Its obvious you are one of the fine and dandy cool crowd.

Jellen be sure to look at the other post (U have 2 like me!) so you do not miss your friends overthere !

Tea will never get you anywhere! What you need is Scotch and sympathy! Try and think of it this way!

With this person not in your life, will the sun come up tommorrow?
With this person not in your life, will you be unable to function as a human being!

Having had a habit of making and losing friend on a regular basis (Johnny carson still won't answer my calls, and we used to be sooo close!) I understand, but the healthiest thing for a person to experience is to realize that being alone is not a negative thing.
Find something new to do that you have been tossing around in you head (we all have those ideas) and forget about this callous non-friend!

MadHamish
(You could always take up Elvis Spotting(I understand it's a registered sport in your town))

Hmmmm, Elvis spotting. What an idea! Actually, this is true, my aunts all went to high school with Elvis.

oh! oh! go look for moonpyramidmarsupialmonkey A849116

we can use some spotters

Hope you're feeling okay

well i dont know if it helps,but the world is full of people who really do care....and they turn out to be your true friends.
anyway,,,here's the ,and a just to make you feel better,...oh!!!and i'll lend an ear anytime.salxx

Hi JEllen

Hope you're doing all right today. Just dropped by with a few extra s and some .

Take care and talk again soon.

PC

h2g2 is probably the best place to come for this. You know the Community will give you all the love and support it can.

Vip