h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Takes off his sock, holds it in front of him and turns it inside out*

A small green blob falls out, hits the floor, and scurries away.

*Replaces sock*

Ewwwwwwwwwwww

Sorry. Not my fault. I've got some Vogon in the old gene pool somewhere.

There was a man riding a bicycle with a Tokra symbionant inside of him. The man's was called Alan and the symbionant was called Alain.

Alan was riding on the road between Dumfries and Ayr. He was at Stranraer where he saw an imaginary tree in the middle of the road. Alan started to swerve like crazy, shouting to Alain that there was a tree in the middle of the road. Alain shouted back no there is not anything on the road, please ride on. Well that started Alan off and then both of them started to argue with themselves until Alan crashed his bike. Suddenly members of SG1, rebel Jaffa, Tokra, and the Ashgard came over to help but somehow they became cloned and then there where 8 Alan's and 8 Tokra symbioants. Well the rescue teams, did not know which ones to help first. Some of them back to red Stargate Command and the others went through the Stargate.

To complicate things the Ori were going around dressed in all in-one cat suits pretending that they are on Celebrity big brother.

The replicators thought it was very funny and started to replicate themselves into bicycles.

Hi ho, hi ho, off we work we go, with a here and a there, hi ho, hi ho.

The Goauld now have decided as they have lost their power to host talk shows and give advice on lifestyles, home and personal make overs and design their own clothes with them modelling them.

It wouldn't be any different from what's on daytime tv at the mo anyway

I have been talking to a . I asked the what's their name and the replied me-ow and I asked the what my name was and it replied me-ow.

I asked the cat to let me in the house as I had locked myself out.

"Me! Ow?"

No, really, that was a terrible joke. You should teach your cat better manners.

I found the lewt! It was in my pocket all along! Unfortunately it is dead. Still you can't have everything. Unless you are very greedy indeed.

Oh dear what can the matter be, oh dear what can the matter be, Johnny has gone to the fair. He promised to buy me a bunch of ribbons, he promised to buy me a bunch or ribbons to tie up my bony hair. Oh dear what can the matter be, oh dear what can the matter be, Johnny has gone to the fair.

He ain't worth the heartbreak, Kat!

Put your hand out you naughty boy! put out you naughty boy! I saw you in the pale blue light! I saw you! I saw you! Holding nice girl on your kneee in the park in the bright s. Hold out you naughty boy!

I am listening to my computer.

I cannot hear much.

My is squeaking.

I have been trying to print off my ginger nut cookies, spam fritters and mega bites for a quick snack.

Aren't we there yet?

I do not if I am coming or going.

I do not if we have arrived yet as everytime I start the car it keeps on going backwards in time.

I'm walking backwards to christmas across the Irish sea!

The Irish Sea is very rude. It goes out very often and never invites me along. And that is the reason I did not send it a Valentine this year

And it comes in without asking!!