h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Okay... you're feeling sleepy... etc.

Funnily enough, for having plenty sleep last night I am still feeling sleepy

See? Told you.

You've told me lots of things! What does it all mean?!

Well, looking at the results of the experiment, I think we can safely say that you did go out with Robert Plant in a previous life, which, I'm afraid, means that you can't go out with him in your current life, because it would cause all sorts of legal and ethical problems... *squints at notepad* ...and my calculations suggest that you are your own grandfather.

I'm not sure about that last bit.

What sort of legal and ethical problems? Seeing as I can't possibly be my own grandfather, I don't see a problem there

You could up being the mother of a love child who's older than you are. Terribly complicated.

And my love child would be at least 30 - oh dear....

So you see, the legal implications are far reaching. I expect.

And if this lovechild had children, I'd be the youngest granny on the block - and that's saying something, living in Sighthill...

You could always sell your story...

No bugger'd believe me!

Nonsense! There's a 30 minute documentary on Channel 5 just begging to be made there.

How surreal would that be? The Girl who Went Out with Robert Plant in a Previous Life. The man himself comes on, goes 'oh yeah, I remember you! You still got that costume?'

"'ere, didn't you die?"

But now I'm back for more, you still got it in you, big man?

*debates how to answer that question without getting moderated*

*Gleefully awaits EV's reply*

I'll have to consult my lawyers first.

You have a lawyer? I mean, there's a lawyer out there who's actually prepared to represent you?!