Journal Entries
Learning to be better at confrontation
Posted Nov 2, 2006
I did a two day workshop yesterday and the day before, and had previously done a 360 Degree Feedback excercise (boss, 6 colleagues and 6 direct reports) and filled out a Facet 5 profile (a psychometric test).
We had an excercise where we had to build something in small teams, with each team contributing to a greater whole. Very interesting excercise. It was also meant to be a competition.
We found ourselves making sure that everything was structurally sound so that other group's structures had a good foundation. We also found that all of us were on the low in confrontation skills. Interestingly, I went head-to-head with another team member and got to a stalemate with him. Both I and the facilitator thought that he was being dismissive and belittling, however, it turned out that he scored lower at confrontation that I did, so he was protecting himself by backing off, and he used unfortunate body language to do it.
Apparently, my Facet 5 showed me to be a 'facilitator' type, which fitted with what I thought it was going to be.
My 360 Degree showed that my team felt I performed worst at dealing with poor performance. Interesting that a couple of them have complained to me about colleagues letting them down, but then said, 'I don't want you to do anything about it'. That's just dumping and is very frustrating. It happened previously with members of the team who have since left. They couldn't deal with the issue themselves or face 'the atmosphere' in the office if I were to deal with it, as the person they were complaining about would know it was them. Well, now that it's been raised in this way, I can deal with it without breaking confidences.
In my feedback, the facilitator told me that he'd witnessed me coming up with great ideas for how to progress the project, but that I'd backed down, when he thought it would have been better to have been more insistant. For instance, no-one wanted to do any brainstorming, or thinking about what questions we should be asking.
So my big thing from this is going to be learning to be more confrontational and being comfortable with it. It's going to be an interesting learning curve.
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Latest reply: Nov 2, 2006
Jumping off the walls
Posted Oct 29, 2006
During the week, I came home to find that one of my pictures had almost fallen off the wall and was hanging at a drunken angle by only one of the picture hooks. As it was one of Roy's pictures, I took it off immediately and breathed a sign of relief that it hadn't come off completely and broken.
This morning, little came into my room quite distressed saying there was glass on his bedside cabinet and his bedside lamp had been knocked over. When I investigated, I found that two of his pictures had come off the wall. There were four Star Wars pictures in a group and the top one came off and knocked the one underneath as well.
What's going on? Seems very strange. There are quite deep holes in the plasterwork behind both of the picture-hooks where they have come away.
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Latest reply: Oct 29, 2006
Classical Fish
Posted Oct 4, 2006
Little has loved a couple of Holst's Planets for some while and I bought him the full CD for this birthday. I also bought him a double CD of the last night at the Proms. He has taken it to bed with him every night and plays it in the morning too when he wakes up. I'm really impressed. And so much more restful than pop music.
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Latest reply: Oct 4, 2006
Little Fish's court case
Posted Oct 4, 2006
We were due to go to court tomorrow for little to give evidence in the prosecution of the driver who ran him over last year (almost a complete year ago). Last night I had more or less a full blown tantrum on my hands. The presenting problem was about the mealtime, but underneath it was his anxiety about going to court, coupled with the fact that going to court would mean he missed his second on-road cycle lesson and also his school play rehearsal.
Today, my next door neighbour knocked on my door and told me a police officer had been round to visit and given her the message that he didn't have to attend court tomorrow. When I told him, was he pleased? NO! He said, 'I want to state my case in court!' Mensch!
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Latest reply: Oct 4, 2006
Secondary transfer
Posted Sep 22, 2006
This week we've been going to see secondary schools to look at them for little . We have another five to see next week. Poor little is getting very stressed (such that it's made him vomit). He really liked the first we went to see, but there is now way that he could get in as it's a very popular school and the catchment area is very small. I just want him to go to a school that he'll be happy at and be able to do well.
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Latest reply: Sep 22, 2006
Zarquon's Singing Fish!
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