BigRedBall - No Cheese Please

Rules for Slicing Cheese (and other furry animals)

Cheese, a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri, who is a REAL furry creature from Alpha Centauri, has informed me of a loophole in the space-time continuum which allows certain brands of non-processed cheese to own, and indeed manage, dispensing chemists' stores. The UN has declared that these lumps of cheese do not exist. This may be related to the fact that the UN's main members obtain their anti-deppressants and Viagra (given that most politicians are 50+ men) from said dispensing chemists. This is of course, complete dingo's donkeys.

Call out GOURANGA, be happy!

Or not. You may find that it doesn't make diddly squat of difference.

My Philosophy

I believe h2g2 should be a place where people embark on useless journeys to find answers to elusive questions, such as: "why _do_ they make cinema tickets green?" and "can Highland Cows actually see beneath all that hair?".

Which brings me to my articles: they explore life's unanswerable questions - and never actually provide satisfactory answers (at least not logically satisfying answers). They do succeed in one respect, however: they're fun to write.

Social And Economic Effects series

My first project on h2g2 is a series of articles in which I write about the 'Social and Economic Effects', in the style of a scientific essay, of rather... erm... eclectic matters, such as tying shoelaces together. I explore how the subject has supposedly influenced important world events or cultures, and I even take in 'case studies' as examples of my theories in practice.

I try to keep the humour quite 'dry' - most of it is written in such a way that many of the jokes could be missed on a swift reading. I also include made-up bibliographies and imaginative conclusions.

I intend to expand on my collection of articles as time goes by. For now though, and for a taste of what's to come from BigRedBall and Headonastick, take a look at this paper.

If you have any comments, suggestions, complaints (*shudder*), or you'd like to help in expanding the series, then post on this page and I'll get back to you as soon as I finish untying my shoelaces.

My Friends On h2g2

You may wish to visit my friend HeadonaStick (don't worry, it's not contagious) on h2g2 here

Latest Messages

Messages left for this Researcher Posted
Hola BigRedBall!.. Aug 24, 2001

Subscriptions

Title Status

Created

 

This user has no Entry subscriptions

BigRedBall

Researcher U182812

Entries

Most Recent Edited Entries

  • This user has not written any Edited Entries.

See all Edited Entries

Entries

See all Entries

Disclaimer

h2g2 is created by h2g2's users, who are members of the public. The views expressed are theirs and unless specifically stated are not those of Not Panicking Ltd. If you consider any Entry to be in breach of the site's House Rules, please register a complaint. For any other comments, please visit the Feedback page.

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more

Friends

BigRedBall has no Friends

See all Friends

Followers

BigRedBall has no Followers

See all Followers

Bookmarks

This user has no Bookmarks

See all Bookmarks