Journal Entries
another day
Posted Apr 25, 2002
another day on planet earth
another day with the sun shining
another day with the girl getting a fix
another day when junior didn't come home
another day with a pregnant teen
another day another body count
another day a star burns out
another day that's barely alive
another day when he couldn't get it up
another day when she just gave it up
another day with clouds rolling in
another day twisting in the wind
another day praying for it to end
another day a loved one dies
another day her body is sold
another day a newborn cries
another day smoking a bole
another day the cable is out
another day f****d up the ass
another day still black and white
another day with less strength
another day with the radio playing
another day with the books burning
another day sitting beside him
another day she's not a whore
another day six feet under
another day another cross
another day he's going to die
another day i love you
another day i hate you
another day let's be friends
another day another bridge
another day he's going down
another day more videos
another day she stands up straight
another day dark towers f*****g the sky
another day another gig
another day another sunset
another day
Discuss this Journal entry [14]
Latest reply: Apr 25, 2002
private time
Posted Mar 27, 2002
I've been noticing lately that I've not been allowing myself enough private time... you know, that time of the day that you just devote 100% to yourself? I've not been doing that lately. I have been thinking a lot about things lately though. I suppose that could be construed as private time.
Some thoughts I've been churning through my mind is about my friend, Steve. We've been friends for about 4 years now. Just a little under 4 maybe. We work together. We moved with the company together. We go to shows together. We watch movies together. We eat together sometimes. We talk. We laugh. We cry. We've shared a lot over these last few years. Lately, we've been distant. He's not come around like he had been. We've not gone to any shows lately. We've not gone to any movies lately. We've not eaten together lately. We've barely spoken to one another. I miss him. Funny about it all is that we still work together, we just seem to be missing one another all the time.
I need some more private time. I think I may have a breakdown if I don't.
Discuss this Journal entry [13]
Latest reply: Mar 27, 2002
bumper sticker
Posted Feb 26, 2002
I saw this bumper sticker on a car the other night. Very profound.
'foresake inhibitions..
pursue thy dreams'
WINK
Discuss this Journal entry [1]
Latest reply: Feb 26, 2002
a poem
Posted Feb 7, 2002
*marvelling at the wintery scene outside my window.. today I wrote a poem*
Living Silence
Simplicity wrapped in a venvety sheath like an ancient moss-covered shrine,
Etched upon souls in communion's delight, tranformed by eternal time.
Moving incarnate to the rhythm of dawns she captures her audience with grace,
Her petals unfold into impossible hues like webs of smokey lace.
Reach out and touch mysterious joys, hold fast as long as you can,
Drink sweet pleasure and ponder the magick fused into an endless span.
Listen to the melodious humming as she bathes all time in peace,
Sense the heartbeat of flowing life, a calm that will never cease.
Gaze into eyes of wisdom, grow from strength revealed,
Into your soul take endless love, and by that love be healed.
Be wrapped in her delicate essence, rest softly beneath her wings,
Let her presence be calm beneath your feet, ever tranquil flow it brings.
Triumph in encircled rapture, in her gentle embrace be free,
Be held in her image of beauty, pursue her serenity.
Tread upon these paths lightly, disturb not immortal footprints,
Many weary pilgrims have stayed here beneath her hallowed tents.
Observe the lifted countenance to the source beyond all power,Move within her fragrance, be lost within her flower.
Emerge from sheltered delusions, ascend to the risen dawn,
Bask in anticipation, the Living Silence flows on.
---------------------------
Mother Nature is beautiful. Peace and love to everyone today and every day. WINK
Discuss this Journal entry [5]
Latest reply: Feb 7, 2002
necessities
Posted Feb 6, 2002
I've been neglecting my journal lately and decided tonight to jot a few more stray thoughts down. I am currently dieting, and for those who have gone through this, you know what I'm talking about when I say *please make it stop*! This, undoubtedly, has been the most difficult 5 days I have ever gone through... but I *have* to do this. My health hasn't been optimal lately. I'm tired. I'm out of shape. I can't keep up with my son, not that if I were in *good* shape I'd be able to anyway. 
I have lower back and joint pain in my ankles. I am basically tired of feeling this way.. and I am determined to do something about it. But it is still quite difficult. I've given up quite a bit in the last 5 days... no caffeine *whatsoever*, no fizzy drinks, no sugar, low fat, low (very low) carbohydrate, high protein, and lots and *lots* of water. I've also been taking nutritional supplements - some digestive enzymes and a multivitamin 2x a day. I've given up alcohol - although I wasn't a terribly big drinker in the first place.. but I have to say SuperBowl Sunday was a lonely place when you're the only one *not* having a brew with the peel and eat shrimpies! *sigh* I've not thrown exercise into the mix quite yet. My body has quite enough to deal with on it's own right now without adding excruciating *pain* as well. 
I've been experiencing terribly headaches and a longing for a big ol' cup of 
which was my mainstay for breakfast at work. *heavy sigh* I felt really weak tonight, but trudged through it. It's funny what you feel a necessity, and what your body feels. I *feel* like I need a cup of coffee... but I know my body feels something quite different. It's showing me.. in a *big* way that I really don't need the caffeine.. it's all in my mind. One thing this 5 day experience (and don't think I'm giving up - I'm not... I'm truding through this until I lose the weight I need to... 2 months down I can reward myself once a week - that's something to look forward to 
..) has taught me is that my necessities run much deeper than a piece of chocolate cake and a cup of vanilla cappuccino. *ahhh* Support. Love. Friendship. Family. Peace. Calm. Those things I *really* need. I think we *all* need. Tonight I felt weak, and I almost fell off this train I'm on. You know, too early to see what you're working on.. too early to see results and the smell of bread baking... It's tough. I thought of friends I've met and know, here and in RL and their journeys and their battles and how they didn't give up. I became stronger. I know I can do this. I know I can overcome this. I know I can do what I've set out to do. Tonight, I just may sleep better than I have in a long time.
*feeling supported, supportive and loved* 
and to all! WINK
Discuss this Journal entry [3]
Latest reply: Feb 6, 2002
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