h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'd have to be catatonic not blue smartie before I let you stick your bunions out the window

and I know you are being kept on eye on for the inappropriate use of your gluestick *keeps straight face*

your joshing is good for the soul



are those more 17 Century loo brushes?

hah - that'll teach me to think i can wander off & pretend to have an interest in something outside hootoo (eg. music) while you recover from blue smartiness!

dayyum - you're a hard task-mistress (hmmm - that sounds a bit more 'iffy' than intended! ) where bunions are concerned

if i can't get 'em sand-blasted out the window, i might have to resort to a scalpel - yep, several careful slicings and a deep-fat-fryer and i may be having bunion-rings with my veggieburgers (oh - you seem to have gone from blue to green smartie)

hey - have you been telling 'bout me and the gluestick? i'll have you know that no punker ducks were hurt in the making of that photo!

well, i'm pleased if the joshing helps lift the spirits - i shall mention that in my defence, the next time i get caught lifting some


and - yes - they certainly are more of those C17th loo brushes - thought you may be needing them after all that choccy!!


ok - now wasn't there a small matter of a blue smartie getting better?

ewww a-l-s!

, green smartie, this blue and green thing a difficult look to pull off, blue and green should never be seen, so they say, I shall say I am flouting convention, it is all very cutting edge

oops, sorry, you weren 't feeling A1 - and then i went and made you feel A303

blue & green - my two favouritest colours!

...but not from a health point of view though...

>>> "it is all very cutting edge"

hmmm - somehow we seem to have got back to scalpels!


i have to confess that, being a bear of little brain, i've never heard of a 'Flouting Convention'

it sounds interesting, though - is it perhaps a West Country tradition?

does it involve wearing blue & green?

whatever it is, i'm sure you will look very smartie!

hope you're not so blue today - and i promise not to mention... well, i'd better not mention what i promise not to mention, otherwise you'll just start going green again

hfbw

My stress levels are approaching normal, still stuggling not to clench my teeth though, got right face ache

Cracking start to the day,we have tramped up Glastonbury Tor and the sun was out. Hiccup has got a great photo, there is a massive burst of light coming through the archway of the church

So feeling very chilled this morning, off supermarket shopping in a while but I reckon my little bubble will hold

hey there - you did it ! you progressed from blue to smartie!

i'm put to shame - you guys got to the Tor and back in time for toast and ginger marmalade

Hiccup's photo sound's really - more envy! - i'm glad you two got to share that expedition - something you both can look back on with happiness in the future


PS more laughing = less teeth clenching


hope this transmission managed to make it thro' your bubble

over and out from a-l-s ......----------->....... over the hill & out of breath

Morning



you got any grand plans this weekend?

I don't have anything grand planned yet, my kitchen table is annoying me, or rather the fact that I can't see the kitchen table for clutter is annoying me, but I find random lottery tickets when I tidy it, so who knows, might get grander

and a nicer job of sorting out tents, the little ones have got in a pickle and it has been so long since I put them up I cn't remember which poles go where so the only way to do it is by putting them up

Hiccup wants to go camping with her mates, she asked if I would book them into a campsite and leave them there, don't think so, so uncool Mum, still I have said if you can pay for own pitch I'm happy to pitch a suitable field away

its quite windy and looks like it going to chuck it down so today is good day to sort tents, realistic pitching conditions

G'day (ex)blue!

back at yer

ooooh - getting a grand from a lurking lottery ticket would do the trick!

yep, i've noticed this about horizontal areas and clutter - and i blame Newton!

y'see if gravity worked SIDEWAYS, then the kitchen table would never get cluttered

of course, you'd be walking round after breakfast with a light pebble-dashing of Rice-Krispies all down yer jim-jams - but, hey, small price to pay for tidy table-tops, eh?

a-l-s <----- confused: you, er, keep Pickle in yer tents? that can't be good in the Summer! (you remember the Summer - used to happen once or twice around mid-year)

i don't see what the probloid is, with the tent pole mix-up...

the poles are the bits that rest on the ground - the remainder just sits on top (somehow) - Simples! (tchk)

from that detailed & comprehensive understanding of your temporary accommodation erection situation (ooh - missus!) , you may've come to the (largely correct) conclusion that 'he knows not of which he speaks', but i'll have you know that i once won a tent pitching competition...

...i seem to remember i managed to get it about 9 yards (with a following wind)

LOL @ Hiccup laying down the 'Cool' Laws...

reminds me that a couple of years back, an ex-colleague arranged to go to the Isle of Wight Festie, and was asked by his daughter to also take her & couple of friends. when they arrived & he'd lugged all the tents from the car to the field & helped set up their tent for them & then started to unpack his there too, his daughter said "Oh no Dad, you CAN'T pitch here [against 'Cool' Laws] - you can pitch in THAT field over there" - he didn't get to see them again 'til either their cash, or their toilet paper, ran out

hope you get the tents sorted & back in the bag dry - weather seems to be unravelling a bit


yep, all my plans is grand...

i plan all manner of stuff - if any of it ever comes to fruit.. friut... frooish... er - if any of it ever happens, then that's just grand!

tomorrow, somehow, i've agreed to visit my mum and sort out her attic for her (hmmm - her attic - erratic - got to be a pun in there somewheres)

so - expect a dramatic change of climate to Martian Heatwave, from mid-afternoon onwards, shortly after i have to get all claustrophobic in the unventilated, loose-glass-fibre-insulated, roof-space

also this weekend i've got to start learning a new setlist of songs for a band who i'm helping out, 'cos their bassist had to cancel for their first full gig in a few weeks time

have a grand weekend!

I am quite pleased with the decluttering effort, if I say so myself, I didn't get around to temporarily errecting any accomadations although I have established that there is only one small tent in the garage and I can only see a bag of poles, hopefully they match

Martian heatwave, mid afternoon, I shall take my sun screen round to my Mums then, it is her birthday tomorrow.

You could pray for in the loft, not allowed to tidy up then, alternatively a Van Gogh or a vase of dynastic origins

I like the 'Cool Laws' , after confidently telling me there would be other cooler parents that were sure to drop them off, she came back after a couple of days to negiotiate suitable distances

I pointed out how handy it might be to have us around, I think she can see the advantages in that

picture of the day, a naughty cat with his head right in a pyrex jug licking up gravy leftovers

did you learn any songs today

*** !!! LONG POST APPROACH WARNING - LOO VISIT AND KETTLE ACTION ADVISORY !!! ***

hey P.hen.u.tee - oh coolest of the artists formerly known as the BlackTeePees !

does Hiccup not know in whose (faux) mammoth-hide moccasins she's destined to follow?!?

did she learn little from the mother-daughter trip to the centre of - 'THE' Tor - only days ago?

...just joshing - glad you guys have negotiated a plan


>>> "I pointed out how handy it might be to have us around"

yep, just mention those three magic words....


...."cash" & "toilet paper"


well, finding only 1 tent and 1 bag of poles seems to have sorted the sorting problem...

...however i 'didn't get where i am today without...' - the gratuitous overuse of cliches from old TV programs, so...

if you were me, and i were you - i'd STILL try putting up the tent, 'cos now i'd worry that it would only be discovered, when pitching the tent at the site (where maximum Coolth was expected) that the tent and the poles came from different tent-universes - sort of like - you know - Tent Yin & Yang...

...and ne'er the 'twine' shall meet

AND ANOTHER THING

...er, this may be a stooopid question (...awww, a-l-s, you've never let THAT stop you before...) - if there is but ONE tent - how you gonna comply with the Cool Laws?


anyway, you got the declutter program to a successful conclusion, that's great!

i hope you didn't use the tried-tested-and-patented-a-l-s-un-necessarily-hyphened-method of scooping the entire contents of clutterdom into a large plastic bag and then just dumping it into a small room, bursting with a small-but-growing-lake of other similar bags?


yo - how spooky is that?

you're visiting YOUR mum today to recognise and enjoy yet another tick in the calendar...

i'm visiting MY mum today to recognise and enjoy yet another calendar in the attic


heheh - i appreciate your kind efforts to encourage me with possible scenarios for a happy outcome this afternoon - unfortunately, i know from long experience that the only evidence of bats-in-the-belfry will be yours truly; there will be several vases - all of Evostick origin; and the many Van-'The-man'-Gogh-looking paintings will be ones which my mum painted years ago and is now only keeping to re-use the frames!

however, look on the bright side - there will be that dramatic improvement in the weather - sun-block factor 50, minimum, i reckon

hmmm - cat in pyrex jug, eh? mebbe you need to show this moggy the photo of the deceased-cat-copter - sort of 'better behave, or look where you might end up' type of warning?

right - is that me done? can 'P.hen.u.tee' get back to doing something worthwhile and fulfilling now?

no, not just yet (quiet at the back!) - "did i learn any songs?"

yes, 'brass in pocket', 'sunday girl', 'valerie', 'echo beach' - and today i've got to add others like 'hedonism' by Skunk Anansie and 'white flag' by Dido

can you see a pattern emerging? yep, for the first time in a loooong and very under-lustrious musical 'career', i have the opportunity to be backing a female vocalist (so far - sob - Annie Lennox has turned down my every request - including musical ones!)

ok - phew - you deserve a and now, i think!!

have a GREAT day - give my love to your mum - tell her to keep the phone line free after 10pm

does Hiccup not know in whose (faux) mammoth-hide moccasins she's destined to follow?!?

well don't like to burden with too much, too young, allow them to find their own path, venture into the future freely, having given them a good grounding in universal wisdoms, and after those times when they were really late home and caused their Mum no end of worry about them being dead in a ditch

I wasn't thinking cash as a magic word, they know they have more of a desposible income than I do

malibu and bog roll,I also s'pect they would tip up at our tent looking for a late cooked brekkie and and seasoned camper that she is, Hiccup knows a port in a storm.

Our tent will be still be standing in a tropical storm, not pitched in a valley, or a double dipper and there will be an exit plan that avoids traffic

unsurprisely then I will most certainly putting the littley tent up before it goes anywhere, that's the least I can do in the circumstances, make sure the poles match

as I will be a field away in my spacious tent, with my munchies, sloe gin, or out watching badgers or something, or going for a long walk that includes an archeological feature, that does frankly look like just a big ditch...

first time backing a female vocalist eh,not sure what to to say in such a situation, 'put your best foot forward and you'll be hearing from Annie before you know it' springs to mind, not sure I am of a right one,'nother matter altogether

you didn't clear out the attic early did you, been well sunny here till mid-afternoon

hmmm - P.hen.u.tee of the BlackTeePee tribe is a very wise Squaw!

i must give these words of wisdom careful thought, before replying in my usual shallow manner...

...to be continued (possibly after 1st practice with new band tonight! - i'll need some powerful magic, and plenty pipes smoked, for that ,i think, sister!!)

hfbw

(i've heard that is strong medecine)

...but useless as 'medicine'...oops!

never thought of you as shallow, anyone who can plumb the depths with their bunion talk, enough to put any persons reading off onion rings for life, could only be described as deep indeed

how did practise go?

deep? moi?

hmmm - maybe deep... -fried


if you can sow the seeds for a future close & lasting relationship - as friends, rather than parent-child - and sometime be able to share the appreciation of sloe-gin, badger-watching and ancient ditches - with Hiccup, then you'll have truly reached the level of smartie


preliminary meet & practice was good, thanks - nice people, quality music - late home, woke at 4am & found i'd fallen asleep on sofa! (no 'Moth bones down back... mine, or the sofa's)

1st practice with full band next Sat - gig in three weeks, instrumentalists 'gig-hardened' but vocalist inexperienced!


slightly concerned


...better go learn some more songs!

hfbw

bunion boy

sloe gin and appreciation counts for parenting smartie

can I take one?

since it seems that you were the one who created the whole sloe-badger-ditch syllabus, in the first place, parenting smarties are yours for the asking!

as Badger Gascoine used to say on Universally Challenged: "here's your starter for zen..." ....

aww Hiccup said that the kitchen looked nice when she came down and I had tidied up,warms the cockles of a mother's heart it does

it has been hot all day and now we want to go and party we have weather alerts for rain, heavy and locally torrential

>>> "aww Hiccup said that the kitchen looked nice when she came down and I had tidied up,warms the cockles of a mother's heart it does"

there... see? two results in one!!


>>> "it has been hot all day and now we want to go and party we have weather alerts for rain, heavy and locally torrential"

hmmm - sounds like badgers & ancient ditches are out of the question - that just leaves sloe gin and ...

...er, mebbe a raucous board game like 'go for broke' monopoly on the newly cleared kitchen table and small-group indoor camping for the younger peeps?

watched NCIS and went to bed, got up at 2am, ignored the weather which was kind by 3, ok, we didn't see the sun, and the wind was bracing but didn't get drenched