h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Can't seem to find my playfulness today for flights of fancy and googled to see where bones have been found near here, quite a few actually but how many websites selling bits and alsorts of stuff, felt quite queasey.

So happier stuff, yay tomorrow, I know I could read it tonight but I do on Mondays, and look forward to it, what is not to love about something to look forward on a Monday morning

are you getting yourself suitably alcooled up

just too darn hot, i guess!

i've been hiding indoors again today, to keep cool

i didn't realise that 'Moth bones had been found down this end of the country, but then i'm no Sarah Palintologist!


oh - you've shamed me into waiting 'til tomorrow a.m. now, before seeing if my creation will still sit on my knee and call me 'daddy'

...and here i am, fuelled up to the gunnels with one complete bottle of ginger beer (5%)

do i have enough self-control *not* to read The Post 'til tomorrow?

no! ...but...

do i have enough Dementia to *forget* to read The Post tonight?

YES!!!

...well, anyway, it's been lovely bumping into you again dear - what did you say your name was?


hope you've been having a great weekend - if you get an unscheduled gap in your weekly itinerary, you might like to check out the lyrics for Captain Beefheart's "Smithsonian Institute Blues"

i think you'll find it will bring endless hours of joy to the museum visitors, as you sing it on your travels around the premises - especially since the dear ol' Cap'n used most of his famous five-octave** range on this track - enjoy!

well - that's me! ...night, night, sleep well

...altogether now: "head on down, to the BIIIIIG dig...."


** i MAY have made this up, but it's close!

the ads keep coming with 'moth killers 4 u'

I am a bit stretched with what the lack of bones, my links to Brain, and now there are moth killers to be contending with, they have no shame either, the poor baby catapillars

*reads that back*

my links to Brain were always tenuous, before Mr Blessed cropped up in conversation

still I ain't no Moth killer and I'm sure there were bones around here somewhere

goes to admires her living moths and to look for bones

hmmm - these Ads seem to possess some evil ESP powers! it's almost as if they can read what we type on the page!

maybe you could benefit from a stress-evaporator weekend? just give your moths some TLC - and your Brian a few days off?

slow down the pace a little - give some time to looking at things, rather than just 'seeing' them? whaddyasay?


...i seem to remember that they usually found bones in the sick bay - possibly something to do with his rather scantily-clad assistant!

take it easy

I have been giving some thought as to how I might distract the Ads

for this I need -

a scantily-clad assistant

to get on with my 17th century sex toy research and share it with everyone on my journal

also go round telling everyone how I kept on mis-reading the title of the 'cosmetic vaginal surgery' thread as 'cosmic vaginal surgery'

that should do it

I have taken it easy this weekend, neatly avoiding being jubileed, without throwing cold water on anyone elses celebrations, and not getting caught in any traffic

What 'bout you?

heheh - i make no Bones about it - MY days as a scantily-clad assistant are loooooong gone (if indeed they ever existed!)

so, your search will have to be directed towards scantily-clad-worthy possibilities - and i er, don't think i'm in a strong position to recommend who might look good as your assistant - maybe some new-young-stud-on-the-block from the film or music world maybe?

ok, now then - the C17th sex toy research ('batteries-not-even-invented') - gotta admire your dedication to the advance of knowledge there!! devotion above and beyond the call of duty, i'd say

of course, 'above & beyond' might only represent the er, 'missionary position', as it were.... more work may be necessary - oh dear - what a shame - nevermind

ok, so if we're trading 'fessing-ups - i'll have to respond by admitting that i've repeatedly misread a recent Guide Entry title as 'Fornications on the Isle of Wight' - and i really, really don't think it's been a case of wishful thinking!!

honest!

ahem - anyway, glad to hear you've been able to maintain a chilled approach to this BHol weekend

i haven't been QUITE so fortunate - in fact, exactly those phrases: 'throwing cold water' and 'getting caught in...' summed up the focus of my weekend very neatly...

i arranged to meet up with a walking-buddy on Sunday, with the aim of walking the canal route from Bradford-on-Avon round to Bath (just under 10 miles?)

everything was arranged and looking peachy, until the end of last week when the weather gurus decided that the one day out of the entire break when we could absolutely, positively rely on having cold water thrown at us and getting caught in it - was, of course Sunday

so - we had a good walk - and we had a good soaking - perfick ! my journey home on the train was accompanied by my very own personal little rain-cloud which clung about my person like a... well, a small, misty, clingy thing -->

i must have looked like a walking, one-primate, 'Gorillas in the Mist' documentary

...but the important thing was that we "avoiding being jubileed", and we didn't get "caught in any traffic"

(don't get me started on the train service, however!!!)


other than that it's been a very chilled out break - thank you for asking!


i hope that you had some quality time with your bestest family - and also some quality time with your C17th ...oops - er, i mean, for yourself!

i hope that all is going well with your complete re-organisation of the museum - and that you'll get all the help & support you require for the re-decoration of the Eastern display room with that Mammoth-hair-effect hessian wallpaper we discussed recently

oookay - well, that about wraps it up, as they say in the Ancient Egypt section of the museum


have a great week - see you downstream

we come in peace, bearing C17th - er - loo brushes
..........................

'throwing cold water on' and 'getting caught in' were scenerios that were unavoidable past couple days if you were going to go out at all

the weather is exhilarating but not a baby widgeon or a transit in sight but anyways I like think I pull off the drippy, steamy look...


besides that I had a handy 17th century loo brush to hand, if the worst came to the worst

it's a smart baby widgeon who knows where her towel is - at all times

i suspect that they have all hunkered down, feet up on the coffee table, watching Patrick Moore getting ever-so-slightly-more-than-overexcited about the Venus fly-past

when you see the miniscule dot that is a planet, dwarfed by the solar disc, which is itself a good few stops further on than the end of the Central Line at Epping, you realise just how humungously big the goodness-gracious-great-ball-of-fire really is

i'm not completely sure that, if "the worst came to the worst", i'd really want to have a working knowledge of how a C17th loo brush might suddenly be precisely the right object to have at hand

but then, you obviously lead a much more interesting life than i do!


and yes, i hear that the "drippy, steamy look" is to die for, in all the Haut temples of Couture, suddenly

...of course, not ALL of them have gone the whole nine-yards and included your hand-painted, yellow-flowers-on-mauve-background wellies - but hey, who said that the path of a fashion-guru was always going to be smoooooooth?

ciao bella!

*air-kiss-left* *air-kiss-right*

careful of my beach hair darling, I had to wander around in 60 mile an hour winds to get it this perfect, I see that there are a fair few people sporting the windswept look, but I think the saltiness of the sea air just adds that extra 'something something'

chinchin

*chuckling gently at the prospect of 60mph winds creating the perfect look!!*


>>> "...the saltiness of the sea air just adds that extra 'something something' "


IIRC the Beatles wrote an ode to a 60mph seaside siren:

'Something' in beach hair, she knows,
Attracts salt like no other cover.
'Something' in her shoes that toes feel;
I don't want sand in there now
You know it rubs raw - and how!

you're asking me will beach hair grow?
I don't know, I don't know.
It sticks well-down now, does it show
I don't know, I don't know.

etc., etc.

Good old George - they don't write songs like that anymore


enjoy the summer!

on the plus side there was no sand to get my shoes today, dark brown churning sea of mud up to the flood defense

we will of course be off later in the summer for our annual and traditional spa treatment in Cornwall, an exfoliating sand blasting, if the last few years are anything to go by I suspect I'll be going for drowned cat look and will just have to refresh with accessories still the wetsuit under the clothes not only keeps you warm, it is slimming too

tsk, look at me giving away all my style and beauty secrets

never mind all this 'mud & flood' excuse - the only reason there was no sand in yer shoes today is because it's currently going straight past my window at 60mph, in an Easterly direction


>>> "the wetsuit under the clothes not only keeps you warm, it is slimming too"

a-ha! ...so THAT'S what i've been doing wrong...

*makes mental note NOT to wear his wetsuit OVER his clothes, this year!!!*


>>> "...I'll be going for drowned cat look..."

hmmm, yes - i'm starting to worry 'bout you and this 'stuffed animal' thing

yesterday it was 'badgers', today it's 'cats', presumably tomorrow it'll be 'dogs' (keeping it in sequence)

so i predict that on Sunday, you'll be advising us how to fix wheels onto a hollowed-out 'elephant' to make a novel, family-sized camper van!

where's it going to stop?


...nowhere, i guess, unless you remember to fit some brakes, too!!


your Cornish Spa holiday sounds familiar - is that the treatment that has also been known to exfoliate teeth? i seem to remember happy days eating picnic sandwiches on Perranporth beach - heavy on sand & light on wiches

...getting withdrawal symptoms already - excuse me, the fridge is calling...


wait a second - you say you're GIVING AWAY these style & beauty tips?!?

...dayyum - i thought you were busking - i just threw two quid into your hat!


have a great weekend (weather permitting - your mileage may vary - terms & conditions apply - etc - etc)

it would have to faux ellie of course, the drowned cat look was drowned faux cat and the badger was,road kill, er,kindly donated by a member of the public to the museum for stuffing

where will it end, I'm thinking floating blue whale boutique hotels by the end of this week.

How did your sand blasting go?

>>> "it would have to faux ellie of course"

of course it would, of course - that was a faux pas on my part!


>>> "the drowned cat look was drowned faux cat"

yes, amen to that, too, sister ...although there WAS a rather disturbing news item last week where a cat owner (& sometime radio-control enthusiast) had turned his dead moggy into a helicopter - eeeuuuuwwww!!

>>> "the badger was, road kill, er,kindly donated ... to the museum for stuffing"

hmmm - not sure how well that's going to catch on - i prefer to use something traditional like oatmeal, myself


>>> "I'm thinking floating blue whale boutique hotels by the end of this week"

*cough* - erm, those would be FAUX blue whales, of course?

...probably be 'off course', too, unless you can fix a rudder to the tails...


>> "How did your sand blasting go?"

yep - went well - looked out the window in the afternoon and got a good facial scrub

...might stick me 'plates of meat' out later and see if i can sand down the bunions caused by the avon canal walk, last weekend

enjoy your dinner!

right I am stopping you right there, no bunions out the window

have you forgotton chaos and all that stuff about a butterfly flapping its wings

your bunions, think what it could mean, asteroid impact, you know the ones that 'we don't need to worry about' could go all skew whiff and it'll be all your fault *nods sternly*

heheh - so - the gauntlet is down!

let me just state categorically:

a) this is all your fault - you started it (*he bluffed*)

b) no ginger beer (5%) was consumed in making this posting

======= ok, roll it ! =======


hmmm, yes - you're absolutely right...

i HAVE forgotten chaos theory!

so - let's see if i remember correctly: all it takes is just ONE grain of sand to fall with a slightly different trajectory?

...and the outcome is a completely different combination of the same inputs?

like this?:

>>> "your bunions... could ...impact, you know ...we ...could ...all ... whiff and ...od...."


dayyum - that IS scary!


*pulls bunions in from window ledge - very caerphilly!*


butterflies, everywhere, heave a sigh of relief

people around the globe go wild and start singing in unison, as the credits roll:

"faux he's a jolly good fellow..."


Good Night, everyone, please remember that serious Chaos is actually very rare - so - DO sleep well and DON'T have nightmares!

faux he is a jolly fellow

I am feeling which makes my brain just dull, so my conversation skills are zilch at the moment, just to explain

hmmm - sorry to hear that you're feeling like a blue smartie!

that's not the time for joshing - that's the time for wrapping up warm, relaxing somewhere comfortable, and reading an undemanding book, or watching similar TV prog, or just zizzing to let body recharge

so sending


...i'll know you're feeling better when i start getting told i can't stick my bunions out the window

hope you're feeling better soon