h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I relate to what you said about not communicating very well...

Yesterday I 'had it out' with the man I've mentioned - two and a half hours of communicating past each other, but some common ground was, I believe, established... (I hope). The thing is, we can't read each other's minds - but GPG and I managed to clear out some misunderstandings (though others may have been established.) On balance, it was a 'Good Thing.'

Despite some comments about wanting to break of all contact with me, he seemed horrified at that idea and when I asked, he said he does want to continue... on some basis at least...

'Anna' doesn't seem to me, to be wholly in accord with herself, and you may well be able to communicate with her in the future.

It will take much time though, to "cool down". Until then, I will not be able to initiate communication. There is a small, tiny chance that she may perhaps, but it will have to be on her own terms and when she is ready. It will have to be up to her. I do not wish, to continue at beating "a dead horse". It has been a week since that incident. . There may or may not be any sort of 'sign' in once it has been two weeks. I don't know if she'll realize I wasn't trying to "bother her on purpose". There is still much work to be done, in, at, and with other things,- that might not have gotten neglected on my part,- had I have been a little less,- um... caught up in that mess. /

Ideally, she might figure out that it was because I had cared 'a bit too much',- that I wasn't so good at quite giving enough space. However... there is not much to point any distinguishing between "whether I am 'afraid' of "speaking to her again" or whether the distance is "due to respect." The only thing I can tell right now is that, if giving it time does not help, at least it will keep things from getting much worse (I hope). }Ulp!{

I waited for an entire week and a half...
it probably would have been better to give it the two weeks, but she and i had been okay friends up until that point, and it all was so highly unusual That I finally figured, oh "to heck with this whole, grief-anger remorse thing... and towards the end of class took an action and made a decision.
It might not have been the "very best" decision, but I do feel that I sort of did owe her an apology, at least from her perspective... she had never sworn at me like that before in the entire time we were friends, and such, etc. etc. So, as begs the obvious, to her,- I had probably seemed to have done some sort of wrong and the like. I took a piece of paper from my notebook, and I folded it in half. Then very neatly (for me), and she has seen my writing before, many of my friends comment and say it looks vaguely Elvish or some such fantasy dialect script ... And I wrote down three simple little words, lined up even and steady. It said
[insert name]
I'm Sorry.
<- End of note ->
Then, I gave it to her in an offhand way as though I had mistakenly dropped it (writing side up) and promptly took off to get to my next class (she had seemed to be following, but from a distance, for a little, (like she was not "afraid anymore" but it is a little early to tell) so I had just kept going to my next class anyway. I'm going to keep sitting very far away, and not speak to her, or e-mail or anything... and just let things run their own course. }Phew!{ It's finally 'over'.

Wow.Let me know how that goes...

My son got a phone call from the girl I call B last night, and there was as Elton John said in a song, 'springtime in his heart'.

I am getting on with G., and I would have spring time in mine, if there was a future in it, but there isn't. However, let me know how it goes with 'Anna'...

Acts scared if I am "nearby" ... yet, for some strange reson she continues to smile when I am around, staring as though through me. Very proud, she is. Probably because she does not wish to admit that we had both been acting kind of rash and er,- uh... 'gritty'.
She will probably never apologize... I did. Without any excuses or flourishes attached, except for that it is sort of like a really big deal for me, that it came out with an even and steady hand (I mean, usually my writing is all sloppy and horrid, people tell me that all the time). I wish she would quit "refusing to speak to me" <- This is another one of those "giving it time" sorts of things. Every time I read that note, it seems both exploding and ridiculous... I get sad, that that is how badly... yet, she seems to be cheerful at that, too...
She's never sworn much to the best of my knowledge, at least, not much. So when she started swearing all in caps, I... and the timing; yes my "April Fool's" cover up plan was a disaster, but for some strange reason the response it got was dated "28:12" <- Which someone had the forsight to surmise might have been a glitched up version of 12:28 ... and that was I think I had sent mine only a little earlier than that... it's creepy how much I and her wind up in the same sync loop on things. Daft... uncanny... creepy, and now she seems to be following me once in awhile, while I am in the library... continues giving me a "glazed" stare... like I am invisible... still smiling though. It may seem odd, but I do not mind the getting eavesdropped upon incident,- as much as perhaps I should/ought to. Actually it makes sense, I was sort of indirectly trying to "cope"/vent, with a friend of mine, and weho should happen to be a bit closer than they should be... Actually I was sort of 'grief'-ing. People tell me to knock it off, to forget... I can't forget too well. It keeps coming back, but I am trying to give her some distance... "Never speak to me again" <- was sort of like an overkill stretch... but maybe she'll get the idea that yes, I'm agreeing with her that I'm an idiot,- and stuff? I don't like that, but - it's the price people pay for the set of circumstances that some folks such as myself have. It's kind of a strange mixed-blessing really. I don't quite have as much "natural empathy" as other people. I try to make up for it with sympathy, though whether it be unintentionally or not, sometimes this aspect makes it seem more like a 'curse'. She keeps staring "at me through me"... I liked it better when we talked like civilized human beings... there's been some funny business going on... hopefully it will sort itself out.

I do not understand why she wishes for it to be that she is having it both ways... it is all fine and good for her to have it all on her terms... but as soon as it was me doing some of the suggesting of the where we might... we used to craft these schemes, she and I _ of "accidentally-on purpose" being in the same place at the same time. The next time she follows me*, this time I will not keep moving. I did that twice... and they "lost me" partway through the long stretches and people milling around... but for some reason she seems loathe to have it be me who is doing "the approaching." Maybe she wants to apologize?
*If you count the , eavesdropping incident. I have to keep it so that it is obvious that I am not "chasing"... why do people resort to all sorts of lies, trickery and subterfuge?
*Shakes a fist*

And I will sit far away for the next several class sessions for the course that we have in common... and, and... well, I won't exactly turn my back and stomp off the next time she walks up to me (behind me, lately)... maybe she is embarassed at having had blown up... because I think... that maybe that's it, it bothered her to have someone else be doing all the give, then to suddenly want to "take" a bit, for amount of that incident, believe it had gone afunk for an entire week. But, gradually, she seems to be approaching me, instead of the other way around... and I have to appear more "disinterested"... because I know for certain that if my eyes were to say, suddenly light up and if I were to say her name, she'd get all shy again... Ironic... before the whole mess I was always the one who was being shy... , awkwardness in the extreme. <- Isn't youth great?

* if the eavedropping instance counts, I keep leaving very quickly,... but still walking as though at a normal pace,- to whatever the next thing on my schedule might be... before she has a chance much to take i all in,... and say something to me...
I do feel that it is somehow a mean-ness that neither one of us really had to resort to, but ... by H*ll, I am not going to make the mistake of talking to her in person "first" or in a message, until she speaks first... and even then, I will still be hesitant. It has to be brief, polite and then get the heck out/away. Bitterness can't exactly be helped. First she got bitter, I fight it, but it is kind of jading.
Ex: "Better to have loved and lost, than to never have had loved at all."... <- I think, that whoever said that is a j@ck@$$.

Because she and I are probably both teenage psych*pathic idiots, who vent our misplaced values of wanting to help people, yet somehow inadvertantly wind up hurting ourselves, etc. with wording things in circular convolutions. Gah!

Fight it, being, how now I am a bit bitter...
*Ooh, !* Fugue music & toccatas!
Wonderful... Bwah-hah hah, _ Wonderful!

I'm going to "give it time" more and better, and who knows?
Either we just keep on drifting apart or let bygones be bygones and realize how utterly ridiculous it is to be decidedly against one another in opinion, etc. It's kind of like a win-win.
I am the one who is going to have to be the first person to be mature and responsible though... I somehow get the gut feeling that conflicts such as these are longlasting only so much as each participant refuses to modify his or her behavior "until the other person stops/changes".
The only lose-lose part would/will be if we are both so silly headed as to allow petty feelings of having had been sleighted to continue some sort of nasty grudge... and hey, on a positive note, I am starting to almost kind of like dance class now.
It's actually... kind of fun.

, I think all that pontificating was because I had allowed it to "get to me" a bit much.

I am not easily ed out...
Usually. Now, onto the research paper...


, she actually called him? <- That's a good sign - sort of, right?