h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi. So yeah, now it's really weird because she seems to both "like" and dislike me at the same time.

So, I guess that meant that "she does care" kinda. , somehow, I would have liked to have gotten to find out another way, instead...

Jim (my son) is going through pretty much the same thing with a particular woman, and I have experienced similar myself.... How great it would be if some people had subtitles that indicate what they are really thinking and feeling! Which is why relationships can be very hell at times!

Deb

Yes, it is when the other person seems to shift back and forth in mood, so that you cannot tell if s/he is in a good or bad mood. It would seem that she seems to both like and dislike me at the same time.
Giving time, is difficult, but probably is the only sane solution; I seem to be what is making her upset. Trying to be nice might get misinterpreted as "further advances" and this bothers me a bit, since when I do attempt to remain civil, you know, it might strike her as cold. Kept asking why I was mean to her, one time. I wasn't trying to be, and I said that. "Then why do you keep saying one thing, or starting to,-then changing your mind?" she asked. That's when I said... what messed things up so badly.

You know, if I had known ahead of time, that this was the effect it would have...

I should have just kept my stupid D@*n mouth shut.

As for keeping your mouth shut, what's done can't be undone..

The problem is misunderstanding. Guys and girls play head games, it's inevitable, and neither sex really trusts the other... I had only one brother and he was a lot younger than me - if I'd had brothers closer to me in age, I think I mighta understood that guys are human too, younger than I did. (Well, that also, can't be undone - if my first brother hadn't died as a wee baby... but he did.)

This girl you had the problem with, it's probably best to concentrate on another girl or girls - if it draws her attention back to you, so much the better. It's possible she simply doesn't know what she wants! A woman classmate of his told my son that 'girls only want guys they can't have', and yesterday a man asked me if that was true. Well, it's true of all girls some of the time, and some girls all of the time, the latter being the ones I'd call, as my Chinese friend says, 'wired' (she means )

Be polite to the 'little trouble girl' (that's from a song by Sonic Youth) but don't worry if you seem cold. It seems to me, she needs her ideas waking up anyway.

There are nice, honest non-game-playing, non-twisty-turny girls out there, believe me, I was one of them! Remember what my missionary friend John Mark used to say, "There is a sword between the sexes" and hence the basic mis-communication. But you'll find the right one, I know it doesn't seem like it when you're in pain as you are right now, but you have time!

I'd told her I'd wait. And wait... and wait,- and that yeah, if I'm "what she was upset about," um bye-bye!
*Goes away for a week (try several).* That wasn't very smart either.
I couldn't help it though,- really. Maybe if she gets what she wants,- she might not want it anymore?
*Confused*

: Hrmm...
Tomorrow will be day one, since I slipped up and attempted to communicate... today was supposed to be day one.

You see,- on the other hand, I did point out that it was both and insulting to me, that she claimed "I scared her." <- If that's the case, then why did she keep coming up with all these half-baked schemes and really convuluted subplot like stuff (w/me) before, on how we could meet up with eachother, outside of school, sometime(s),- when she'd been convinced that I did not 'like' her?
Well, thius is different. I think what had made her do something kind of like a "do this (for me), or I will make myself scream", as is used in a countless number of old movies (did they actually think that it was funny, then? !), was when I'd suggested that hey, I don't think you like me... or care much. She herself earlier, had defensively indicated "I don't 'like' you (like that*)", and now, would rather I had conveniently forgot it? I should have just left it at a "well,- two can play this game." At least it made her stop "being scared" when I'd suggested that there might be slightly more to me, than there seems (at first), even if that was only to temporarily get angry...
*wish I really could just dissapear into a puff of smoke sometimes, and then reappear in a similar }Poof!{ somewhere else.*

Oh I see, like-a-marionette. Next time (if there ever is one), I should take an attitude of, while maybe I do like you,- and maybe I don't" then turn-about on one heel and walk away. That would have been er, and probably would have worked the best. Oh, d@*n-it!

Nice guys... they 'finish' last. <-/ What (), you mean they actually do get to finish at all?? (sometimes)?

*Wonder which 'that', she had meant... sheesh!
I don't really even care that much anymore. Hey,- there_we go.

So,- now that I've made a big, giant,_ ugly stalemate out of it (and this is bad, since both me and her are stubborn as a set of iron-nails), "what would you like to do next? *grinning*

I will not give in first (again ). She sure as h*ll is not going to give in first. Now we are both probably going to just wind up so that when we do wind up sitting next to eachother, it'll be not saying a word & fuming. So then,- is it the truth, that makes certain people like to backstab one-another?

X_X; <- there's me "dead" (presumably from embarassment).

I know what you mean about the 'Day One' thing, I've been there done that...
Is she from a different culture? That can cause issues in itself!
The guy I was talking about is from another culture, and I just had an email from him (this morning) about Neurolinguistic programming, and so I googled it and read up about it - man, that explains a lot of his head gaming - a term he agreed to... it's a mad cult! No wonder I don't know if he or I am Arthur or Martha... Be thankful your girl isn't a Scientology-related cult nut, and not a nice Catholic as I though this man was....

It seems to me that this girl (let's call her Anna for convenience' sake) doesn't really know what she wants. If you could get inside her head, you'd probably find it a cluttered mess. She may have all sorts of sh*te going on with her family... you have no way of knowing.

Can you get her mobile number? Does she have a girlfriend who'd ask her, or give it you? The thing is, forget NLP (sorry that's on my mind) or any head-gaming, just tell her you want to talk to her. When my son says 'I wonder what B_____ is doing now' or 'I wonder what her family is like?' I always tell him 'There's only one way to know, which is ask'. Tell Anna you need to talk to her, tell her you want to know what she means, what she meant when she said x or y, because you're doing head miles about it, and it's making you and that's no good for your studies.
(Jim is lucky - the first day he met B____ they arranged to do a project together for their Bachelor of Nursing, and so he has a legitimate reason to demand to talk to her - and she's always blowing hot and cold with him, friendly in microbiology lab, eating sushi in the park with him and the other Oslo and Trondheim girls - yes, they're all from another culture as well! - and then rejecting him at parties. What a head game!)

No, nice guys don't always finish last. My brother was a nice guy - and he wouldn't have if it weren't for other things... and my friend Nigel is the nicest guy I know (not the guy above) and he wouldn't finish last if I had anything to say about it, but hey he's a Deep Green and lives in the back of beyond!

Now I see...

The reason why no one ever seems "to 'like' me back" is because I am viewed as lonely enough, to be able to like them (and people might deep down, actually much rather go about, only liking themselves)?
DUH!


*Laughing & crying at the same time, if it was still a day or teo ago*

<<Now we are both probably going to just wind up so that when we do wind up sitting next to each other, it'll be not saying a word & fuming. So then,- is it the truth, that makes certain people like to backstab one-another?>>

In Anna's case (see my last post) I don't think she's deliberately back-stabbing, and it's plain you aren't either... The thing is, you do matter to her.

If you're gonna get the chance to see her again without actually setting it up, grab the chance to talk, or even pass a note if you have Professor to contend with and say 'Anna' (insert her real name of course) 'we have to talk. Pick a time and place, but I am not going to go away, you know where to find me', give her a week at the most til after Spring Break, and be firm and friendly and offer her an ultimatum. What's that American saying? Piss or get off the pot?

Well, her family is asian, and I don't think they'd like me... because I am a whit guy,- who they don't (already) know.
*my head,- it spins).

Really shot "myself in the foot" saying "I'd wait for her" as long as it takes. Then she'll freak out if I message her again.

She had before, claimed to have "been too busy" and that "it wasn't that she did not care." <- That's what got her angry. I said that I'd be willing to wait, until we were both a little less busy (implied part being, if she did want to answer me later,-then , yeah- am fine with it being at her own leisure). That was_dumb with a capital 'D', because even though in male mind, it'd make sense and be the right thing, say... but not-

She'll be able to see past it, to my awkward/inept attempts at "making amends" though, maybe.
I_ a happy-tune!
And_then I-tell-myself, [I'm] not a-fraid!

this referring to her as Anna, is starting to remind me of "The King And I".

'e' key had gotten stuck on me, again.

... slowly, the signs startled showing.
I found myself decorating things with a motif of skulls with crossbones, crosses or calligraphy. Then it dawned on me. 'self', self... you may just be going Gothic. Hey!

...
}Sigh!{
*Sulk-sulk* <- There, why He _just did it again!

Oh,- you mean after,- the spring break.
.
}Phew!{