h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

She's so bad she never sings!

What is it with Mom's voices - I've always said my mom's voice was exactly like that old actor Brodrick Crawford.
(Her singing is like a troll gargling rocks but even lower - it's where I get my bass range not my Dad)

Maybe we can have our Mother's sing a duet.
You know if they the country is ever threatened with invasion.
They could ward off any army with ears!

I used to think she sang like Julie Andrews when I was a kid, though ... shows where I get my musical talent!

Broderick Crawford and Julie Andrews sing "The Battle Hymn of the Republic"

(stiking fear into the hearts of all enemies)

That just so happens to be the song my Dad has requested for his funeral ...

What do you want played at your's?

I plan on gaining 300 pounds and playing "He ain't heavy he's my brother"!

(the pall bearers should enjoy that)

LOL! Have you seen this thread? http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F19585?thread=134389

So your choice is "Don't Worry".

I would think it might be a little late for that advice.
Unless someone might be fretting over where you might end up.
(for me I'm afraid it's pack the suntan lotion!!!)

Actually, that was supposed to be a message to those I leave behind, but whatever ...

Don't worry about...

Taxes?

Acne?

The winner of the Pepsi challenge?

?

I missed this one, too? What's wrong with me?

I'm so, so sorry, elwood ... forgive me?

On one condition...if "sensitive jerk" is derogatory, you must remove it as soon as possible.

Then you'll turn my upside-down

::: looks up "derogatory" ... 1 : detracting from the character or standing of something -- often used with to, of, or from 2 : expressive of a low opinion ... :::

Well, I'm an overly sensitive jerk ... is that derogatory?

I'll agree with the sensitive part, but, that's what makes you the sweet person we've all come to know at h2g2.

So leave the jerk to the "Slim Jim" people.

Okay, I got talked out of the name. But I've been a bit too sensitive lately, and I've been mis-reading things and taking them to heart. I have to stop reading between the lines of posts and emails, especially when there aren't any lines to read between!

Plus consider the eye strain!

I have a hard enough time reading the lines themselves!!

::: adjust bifocals ::: Wait ... that's better ...

With the bifocals adjusted it turns out there is no between the lines to read!

But now your eyes seem to be permanently crossed!?!!

Mine are straight ... I thought *yours* were crossed!