h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"It's been a while since I've had a chance to relax at home," Paulh said as he sat on the futon next to Fluffy Pink Rabbit. "I haven't had an intelligent conversation with you since.......well, come to think of it, ever."

"There's one other thing that's different about the new world," Fluffy Pink Rabbit said. "There are penguins in the cellar."

"But this is a mobil home. I don't *have* a cellar," Paulh protested.

"You do now," FPR insisted. The cellar stairs are over there."

Sure enough, there was an extra door in the corner. Opening it, Paulh saw that stairs leading down into a dark space.

"Tolkien said that 'cellar door' was the most beautiful phrase in the English language," FPR added as Paulh groped for a light switch. There was none. He got a candle, lit it, and then descended the stairs. Sure enough, there were six penguins in the cellar. He also found a partridge in a pear, two turtle doves, and quite a lot of other stuff that had been gathering dust since the previous Christmas. Behind the Christmas stuff was a cask of Amontillado. He drank some. It was delicious. He become pleasantly drunk, and did not notice that Betty Boop had come downstairs with handcuffs. Too late, he realized that she had cuffed him to a supporting post. She began laying stones for a wall trapping him there.

"Help, Fluffy Pink Rabbit, save me!" Paulh hollered.

Betty Boop just laughed."Now I have FPR all to myself," she said as the last stone fell into place. He heard her climbing the stairs, and then there was darkness.....

Now you've done it. You've made Betty Boop evil.

I cry foul. You can't DO that!

*organises outrage meeting of Betty Boop fans*

You deserve to be stuck in this cartoon:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4fXllxQa1Y&NR=1&feature=endscreen

In the next episode, Betty Boop will turn out

1. to have actually been Olive Oyl
2. to have been part of Fluffy Pink Rabbit's delusions
3. to be totally innocent as she was nowhere near the scene of the crime.

Is that good enough?

As long as you protect Betty's reputation, it's okay.

*postpones outrage meeting*

Hold on a minute, Olive Oyle is pretty nifty, too. Gee willikers, she is Popeye the Sailor Man's girlfriend and, also, related to Shelly Duvall! She may not be sexy, as according to the usual criteria, but she is cute enough to attract Popeye, not to mention Bluto, and therefore worthy to become paulh's nonevil and cookie making wife.

signed, The Women's Liberation Front (or WLF)

I have nothing against Olive Oyl. I agree with you, Clare, that she is also a worthy personage.

But as I have pointed out already in my NaJoPoMo journal A87776527, Betty is a pre-feminist post-feminist, being, of course, a flapper.

If these women are truly feminist, they will refuse to become the wife of anybody who doesn't present credentials proving he is enlightened enough to appreciate a truly liberated woman. Besides, Paulh can cook. He can make the cookies.

[Amy P]

Hmmm, perhaps you are right... Ah! We forgot someone! Truely She makes up the Trilogy!
Jessica Rabbit! How about her, paulh? She's not bad, you know, she's just drawn that way

Betty and Olive and Jessica are all off the hook as of the episode I have just posted.

Now, there's just the matter of a torrid love affair with Anna Karenina that must be resolved by a duel with Count Bronski and Anna's husband...