h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

didn't want to post on it, but really, Paul, I enjoyed reading it. Especially the Holly Haters part.

Thanks, Ex-Rambling

I expect to start a "Christmas Whimsy"
thread every year, where I can store
the odd things that I write for friends
and family.

Yeah, holly does bug me a bit, though
not to the maddening extent of the
crazies in Holly-Haters Anonymous.
I hate holly leaves because they remind
me of that lettuce with the pointed,
scraggly leaves that is such a pain to eat.
You chew it and chew it, and it scrapes
the inside of your mouth.
As for holly berries, I don't know what
earthly use they serve, except for
decoration.

My husband, , hates to work on holly, because it scratches him and it hides wasp nests. He has worked in tree services for years, and had to trim bushes. They had holly at the golf course, where he works now, but he says they got smart and took them out.
I just loved the whole satire, with the different personalities, especially the woman who had Martha Steward tendancies and talked about replacements for holly. Skeet Shooting!

We all live close to the edge at times.
My characters are just poor schmucks
who didn't see the edge coming in time,
and zoomed right over it (CRASH! THUD!)
They certifably insane, though they may
look normal at first. And, who could
blame them? They spend long hours waiting
in supermarket checkout lines with nothing
to do but look at "The National Enquirer"
on the racks next to the aisles. If that
doesn't drive you over the edge, nothing will.

Thank you for the Martha Stewart
interpretation. I hadn't thought of that,
but I do love satirizing ms Stewart, because
she's crazier than anyone, though she managed
to find a way of making it pay.

You need to do a male ms. Steward. Unfortunately, the steriotype would have him doing everything up in duct tape, and that's been done to death.
Anyway, I laughed, then set it as a reading assignment for my kids when they start school in jan.