h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Archangel Galaxy Babe told me that you have some ideas as to what you would like the next Sainting Ceremony to be like... Can you like me to where you went into detail!?? Or... tell me here, perhaps!?? Copy and Paste!?? YEs yes!?? Please please!??

...Cheesecake!??

Hi, Dragonfly:

Thanks for the note.

I have some things to pull together first,
but I'll get back to you soon. I'm going to
simplify what I said earlier in the "Heavenly
business" thread (I can get carried away
at times ).

You can't imagine how tempting cheesecake is!
Cherry cheesecake, chocolate cheesecake,
strawberry cheesecake (Oops, I just put on a couple
of pounds just thinking about it. Better go
while I can still walk!)

Hi, Dragonfly:

Archangel Galaxy Babe said that I didn't
have to write my own ceremony, so I've been
applying my energy to the Article that I'm
writing instead.

Earlier, I told AGB that I would like to be
accompanied by my pet dragon (who goes by the
name "Nancy," and was named after a famous U.S.
President's wife). Now, Nancy is not a big
dragon. In fact, she's petite and wears green
and red well, which is fortunate because those
are her colors anyway . Also, if anyone
in Heaven is worried that Nancy will be too
scary (like, the cherubs might hide when they
see her coming), please tell everyone that
Nancy is just a career dragon (Her song has the
lines "When I do my job right, all the world
runs in fright"). When she is off-duty
(as she will be at the initiation), she is not
at all scary.

What will I be wearing? Well, I don't know for
sure what the color code is in Heaven. I assume
white will predominate, but are pastels okay?
I could go for a white polo shirt, and striped
swimming trunks (vertical stripes about two
inches wide, alternating between light blue and
peach, like a demented Howard Johnson's.) If
bolder colors are all right, I'd choose a bolder
color for the polo shirt, like bright red.
(Astrologically I'm a Taurus, or bull. Red is a
very exciting color for us bulls, snort! snort!)
I would like to be Saint Paul of H, the Patron
Saint of Ragtime Vogon Poetry. My personal
space has a couple of Vogon Rags already, so
people will be able to see that I'm the real
thing .

Do I have a choice about hall decor? If heaven
is really, well, heavenly, there's got to be
chocolate (I think AGB may agree). Doesn't
have to be brown. Is there a nook or cranny
in the hall where the walls are white
chocolate? Could I be in that nook for the
ceremony?

One last thing: I would need to stay away from
Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters, which can detract
from one's feeling of alertness. I don't need
to be less alert. Swiss Chocolate almond coffee
would be my preference instead of PGGB's, and would
be yet one more way of sneaking chocolate into
the proceedings.

That's all. If you need any more info, send an
angelgram and I'll respond.

All the best.

Paul of H, pending Patron Saint of Vogon Poetry,
and Nancy the Dragon, who wrote some of the poetry
(Nancy, you weren't supposed to tell! )

WOW!!! THAT is-- ::ahem:: most helpful. I am sure you can wear anything you like in heaven...

::waves to Nancy:: She is most cute!!!

"::waves to Nancy:: She is most cute!!!"

:: Nancy waves back as she sips a cool glass of Dragonade.
Sounds can be heard inside her stomach, as if she has
just swallowed one (or perhaps all?) of the Three Tenors.
But no, that's just some mischievous imps in the background
practicing ventriloquism. It says in Nancy's contract that
she is NOT to swallow any of her fellow actors. She likes
to keep a trim figure .

She loves children, but I'm not going to say any more than
that.

MY MY MY!!! Is that Dragonade you are sipping!?? That sounds delicious!!! What do you put in YOUR recipe!??

And.... Since I'm dropping this ALMOST EVERYWHERE I GO, and since I like both you and Paul...

This is your official invite(with handy links) to the Fireworks Display at Urania's Observation Tower and Balcony(http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A426881)!?? It's for the Fourth of July, but EVERYONE is invited!!! The fireworks can also be seen from the Iris Cafe(http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A517934), and from the grounds of the Muses' Campfire(http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A572735).

If there isn't a thread started already, you are welcome to begin your own!!! YAY!!!

Hi, Dragonfly:

Thanks for the invitations. (I seem to be getting a lot of them
now, leading me to places I didn't know existed .)

There seem to be a lot more than 9 Muses, but I guess
that's only fair now that the whole galaxy needs to be
represented. Calliope was the coollest of the original
Greek muses. Terpsichore was pretty good, too.

As for Iris: that was the name of a delightful character in
Piers Anthony's books about the Land of Xanth. Delightful
books that could be read in no time, with no serious material
to clutter up your brain . Also, puns galore! The zombies
were always so much fun......

I read one Piers Anthony book... "Letters to Jenny", was it!?? Herrrmmm....

I'm glad you are getting invited to lots of places... I think Iris is my favorite goddess... her, or Hestia, perhaps... I also adore Calliope and Terpsichore-- Clio, too... because I love reading/history...!!! YAY!!!

What does OMFC stand for!?? Original Man For Cuteness!??

Hi, Dragonfly:

(I forget how to do the smiley for blushing--it's really
called for right now . maybe? We'll see if
that does it )

I was invited to join the Moxon Fan Club, and
figured I might as well, so that explaiuns the OMFC.
That was before I found out that H2G2 has a choral
society and some interesting muses that get to
recommend dishes for the Iris Cafe. I don't want
to rush around joining right and left.....

Very true.... you can't get involved in too many things... There should be a tongue-in-cheek smiley, as that would be most appropriate for the Musemother, Royal Hamster Keeper of Balwyniti, Member of the Church of the True Brownie, Choral Society and Musician's Guild Member, Blockhead, Crossed Purposes Regular, ummm... what else!??

Moxon Fan Club... this is the first I have heard of it. Do tell. I need to learn...

Hi, Dragonfly:

Someone named Lord Preston popped into my personal
space the other day and invited me to join the board
of the Moxon Fan Club. I still don't know much about it,
but maybe there's not much to know. Moxon seems to be
the head editor of the H2G2 Guide. He's everywhere
at times, like the Improbability Drive of Zaphod's spaceship.

By the way, I love your name. Some dragonflies spend
their entire lives in the air, so they are among the airiest
of creatures. Princesses are sometimes compared to
dragonfly wings because they are so fragil and delicate.
Don't ever put a pea under a princess's mattress.

Back to the choral society. Who is the conductor?
Is there an accompanist fpr rehearsals? When is
the first concert? Just curious.

The Choral Society has never had a concert, only a dew rehearsals... at one point, Kes was the pianist for us...

Ottox is easily found at the Choral Society... and he runs it... with Titania, maybe!!?? My memory's quite cloudy... Ottox would know more!!!

Herrrmm... I like my name too. Being the mother of the muses, well, Zeus is the father. He got jealous of all the time I had spent with the BEATLES(inspiring and adoring them), so he turned me into a dragonfly. That's the story anyway...

Do you normally join clubs without knowing what they are all about!??

"Do you normally join clubs without knowing what they are all about!?? "

If they ask at the right time, sure. My standards can be rather low at times
But "OMFC" sounds like some kind of title the Queen (any Queen) would
bestow. I don't know any queens, and probably never will, but no one has to
know that .

Actually, I know four queens: Hearts, Clubs, Spades, and Diamonds. They
are always asking me over for tea, and I usually have to sit next to the Jokers.....

Heh Heh Heh...

Maybe OMFC stands for Oh!!! My!!! Fancy Cupcakes!!!



I hope it does...

"Maybe OMFC stands for Oh!!! My!!! Fancy Cupcakes!!!"

Even better! It means:

Order Me Five Cheesecakes!

(Any kind: strawberry, cherry, blueberry,
pineapple, mocha, chocolate. I used to make
a very special chocolate-raisin quiche that
was very, very close to being a cheesecake.
Too high-fat for me now, but....)

Someday I've got to ask you about your new
muse rules about avoiding heresy toward
chocolate and cheesecake. Nobody would dare
be disrespectful toward chocolate, but I've
heard that some cheescakes have sensitive
feelings. Practically anything can set them off.

Happy 4th!

YEEE HAH!!!!

Welcome to the do-it-yourself sainting ceremony

It has been said of angels that they fear to tread where
there may be fools rushing in. Since many researchers
are busy choosing up sides on the Arpeggio suspension
right now, it's not surprising that few angels are available
for initiation ceremonies. Or, perhaps, Paul H. himself
is suspected of some form of folly, probably involving
some obscure show tunes written by Edgar Cayce in
his sleep.

Not to worry, Paul H. is used to doing a lot of things
for and by himself. Besides, if angels are in perilously
short supply, Paul is actually helping them out--a trait
which comes naturally.

So:

Paul leads himself into the pool area of Heaven, where
the walls are of white chocolate. Candy sprinkles have
been liberally sprayed all around the walls for a delightful
rainbow effect. Paul is properly dressed for the occasion,
sporting a pair of bathing trunks with vertical alternating
stripes of blue and peach. He is wearing a bright red polo shirt.

The ceremony begins as Paul uses his amazing powers of
ventriloquism to throw his voice to God's Throne.

GOD: We are gathered here today in the sight of...well,
modesty prevents me....Anyway, to cut to the chase, it's
high time Paul H. received his wings so he can go forth
and welcome the newbies and astonish everybody with
his clever haikus and articles. Did you bring your pet,
um, dragon?

PAUL: (Bowing deeply) Yes, Lord, Nancy is right here.
(He quickly sticks his arm into a dragon hand puppet,
who smiles demurely)

NANCY: (Also bowing, to the extent that a hand puppet
can bow) Lord, it is a great honor to be here at Paul's
initiation into the angelic order. I promise to help him
do his duty, and to ease his way up the ranks of the
thrones, dominions, seraphs, and cherubs, till there's
no higher job to aspire to but yours, Lord. (Smiles)

GOD: He'll have a long wait, Nancy. (God smiles, too)
A very long wait. You see, Nancy, the top job isn't
ever going to be vacant, as I plan to be here till eternity.

NANCY: Well, I knew that. I just meant that Paul has
what it takes to improve himself.

PAUL: But I can be humble, too. I have a lot to be
humble about.

GOD: You'd better be humble, after some of the lines
you've been putting in my mouth.

(The waters of the pool ripple peacefully. Paul glances
longingly at them, savoring the pleasant swim he hopes
to take once the initiation is over.)

(Paul puts his other hand into an archangel hand puppet.)

ARCHANGEL: Well, we're ready for the initiation. Paul,
do you want to join the ranks of the angels?

PAUL: Yes, I do.

ARCHANGEL: Okay, you're in.

(Nancy and the Archangel hug each other in ecstacy.......
no, actually, Paul is just trying to clap, seeing as
how there isn't anybody else in the room to do it for him.)

SPLASH!

After about 20 laps of the pool, Paul is ready for the refreshments
that he had set out on the buffet table before the ceremonies began.
Swiss chocolate almond coffee is available in abundance. There's
a tray of chocolate chip cookies, and a container of blueberry buckle
that Paul's Grandmother made back in1965 (miraculously kept
fresh in Heaven's freezers all this time, YAY!).

I hope you know that that YAY!!! is copyrighted by me...



You have to wait for heaven to do the ceremony for you, though... and it seems no new people have asked to be angels... or maybe I'm insane...

This was an EXCELLENT CEREMONY, by the way!!! I'd like to copy and paste it into the GA e-group... Would that be ok!??

Hi, Dragonfly

Thanks for the quick response.

"I hope you know that that YAY!!! is copyrighted by me..."

Sorry, I didn't know that. Doesn't leave me many
options, though. "Wunderbar" is copyrighted by Cole
Porter, so I can't use that (Besides, it's a foreign
word).

"You have to wait for heaven to do the ceremony for you, though... and it seems no new people have asked to be angels... or maybe I'm insane..."

Insanity isn't a good defense around here any more. But that
doesn't matter, because you're every bit as sane as the rest
of us.

"This was an EXCELLENT CEREMONY, by the way!!! I'd like to copy and paste it into the GA e-group... Would that be ok!?? "

Sure, that would be fine. God knows we could all use a good
laugh right about now.

YAY!!! I shall copy and paste to my heart's content!!!