h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

In the past week, I 've been to see Ben Harper, Erykah Badu, and Gil Scott Heron. All three were out of this world!
What a week of heavenly voices and earthy concerns!
If you get the chance, take it!

Were all three playing together? If so, that would be awesome. I would love to see Ben Harper myself. In February, I got to see George Clinton and the P-Funk All Stars. Great concert, great contact high! .

Sadly, us mere mortals do not experience such things as Badu, Heron, and Harper on the same stage. That kind of thing is reserved for the ambrosia-quaffers, I'm afraid.
Big George and the Allstars must have been excellent. Where did you see them?

Here, Missoula, MT, where I live. They played at the Wilma, a 1921 vintage theater with gilt cherubs, red velvet seats, chandeliers, and nude frescos. It was a great show, although the All Stars played for a good hour *before* Clinton came on. He's touring with his granddaughter, a rapper, as well. They performed a number about the joys of getting stoned together. Very family values.

Well, it's always nice to hear that people are finding pursuits that can bridge the age gap. And the decor in the Wilma sounds fantastico!
Can you get me a pic? I'm thinking of giving The Jazzcave a makeover, and that sounds like exactly the look I'm going for.
You know, classy......probably with a few mirrors too.

Something else is nagging at me, when are George and Bill gonna tour together? Now, THAT would be rock 'n' roll Clintopia.

I don't know that the public is ready for such a display. Can you see Bill wearing muu-muus or having multi-colored dreadlocks? Can you see him grooving alongside Bootsy Collins? Well, now that I think about it....not bad. It certainly would give Jimmy Carter's work with Habitat for Humanity a run for it's money as a proper role for an ex-President.

Alternatively, I feel that political leaders should be made to follow the example of our dear old "Iron Knickers" herself, Maggie Thatcher.
Namely, hanging around like a bad smell, afflicted by senile dementia, but still lowing insanely from the sidelines, offering "comment" on every move that the current leader of their political party makes. Old people are really the best at being snide and spiteful. I think it's the onrushing mortality thing that brings out an entertaining desire to drag everyone else down with them.
They should all be employed in welfare offices, to ferret out benefit fraudsters. Well, it COULD happen.....

Oh by the way, you're not, er, old, are you? :P

No--I'm only 30. However, what you're saying is true. Many of the old people I have come in contact with in the course of my job (sort-of public relations) have been either singularly nasty or vaguely senile. My grandmother, bless her, is 90 years old. She has lasted this long not because blood flows through her veins, but p**s and vinegar. She's a piece of work!

Well, a sprightly young slip of a thing, aren't we?

I am looking forward to old age, and am currently taking notes about today's socio-economic climate, so that when I'm aged and acerbic I can embellish them and complain about how good things used to be.

Simple pleasures, eh?..

I went to see that Gary Oakey perform in my local pub the other night, but the evil pigf*****r didn't show, did he? The Landlord had to improvise by inviting members of the audience to get up and sing along to backing tapes. What else could the poor guy do? It's this kind of unprofessionalism that makes this country degenerate into the rotten, melon-farming state it's in.

Whilst we're on the subject, by the way, I also recently went to buy an album called 'Greatest Hits - The Very Best of Gary Oakey', and he didn't even sing on it - must be one of his instrumental albums.

Have any other readers ever had experiences like these?

Thanks for the sprightly and young compliment!

Unless, of course, it was intended to be sarcastic, in which case

Who the heck's Gary Oakey???

(Putting my columnist's hat on)

Well, Hunter, I'm sorry to say that similar has happened to me in the none too distant past. On a recent jaunt to see the divine Miss E. Badu, live and squeaking for all she was worth, the Special Guest Star should have been none other than Isaac "Isaac" Hayes.
And, like that other fickle, public-abusing megastar, Gary Oakey, he did not fulfill the aforementioned oral commitment.

I was strenuously miffed, I don't mind saying in public, and whacked off a stern letter as soon as I got home.

Honestly, what is this crazy hill of beans coming to, I ask you? (Rhetorically)

By the way, who's Gary Oakey? Was he in the Human League?

Yours sincerely,

Jazz

Mademoiselle G,

It was, of course, a heartfelt compliment....
That'll be a dollar-fifty.

I have some pocket lint here...will that suffice?

Whoever Oakey is, he doesn't sound as if he's worth seeing live. Isaac Hayes on the other hand....

mmmm, Ladies Pocket Lint.........Hee-Hee!

So, what other music(ians) do you like then, Miss G?

By way of illustration, these are the last four CD's I have bought:

Toni Price--Midnight Pumpkin (Austin-based blues artist)
Julian Bream--Spanish Classical Guitar Favorites (Vivaldi, Segovia, et. al.)
Swingers--Movie Soundrack with Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, Dean Martin, Average White Band, George Jones
Black Crowes--Amorica (I've been playing this non-stop, great stripped down rock n'roll)

My favorites? I have a huge music collection and like all genres, with the exception of current pop, modern country (it's just bad pop music anymore, really), hair bands, and mindless rap.

Come on - you must have heard of Gary Oakey. He always seems to be on tour, for God's sake! I think that he's probably the hardest working musician in the world today (when/if he turns up). You can see him in most British pubs, and proves so popular that Landlords devote a whole night to him. Look out for signs outside pubs saying 'Tuesday Nite is Gary Oakey Nite' etc...etc...

Hunter, I'm pretty certain now that Gary Oakey is your nom de plume, or otherwise, your nocturnal crime-fighting crooner alter ego.

This would, of course, explain the fact that while you were at the venue, Oakey wasn't.
The reason that you don't recognise this situation must be similar to the central premise of Fight Club, I feel.

Don't blow anything up, son.

Of course I've never heard of Oakey. How can I run across someone who plays all the English pubs when I live in Montana? That's like demanding of you knowledge of Beef Trout, Poop!, or Bob Wire and the Fencemenders.

Whaddya mean you never heard of them??!!??