Journal Entries
Getting the last bit of stuff together
Posted Jul 22, 2002
Wow I have a feeling I will be busy in the next two weeks....should be fun though...got to finish up last preps for PA then on the 2 Aug run around and try to get that stuff done...plus get all the stuff ready for the Conf at the end of Aug...I want my part pretty much done before I leave on the 2nd....I can do it I know I can 
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Latest reply: Jul 22, 2002
Damn strike again
Posted Jul 1, 2002
I was having a great weekend...which is really 
cus it was still just Fri night...I went and saw an Arena football game...had a cheerleader take off her shirt 
and give it too me 
*she had a couple on underneath* and had played the 25c slot machines with my original 20 bucks *the game just happened to be at Mohegen Sun Casino in CT* for a couple of hours...when that money was gone I was going to be done for the night...but when I did finally spend that last quarter my ride was no where to be found...so I looked and looked got tired of looking and spotted a 
slot machine...I thought oh what's another 20 bucks...I can play for quite a while on that and my friend could find me...well somehow or another I played way two many coins at a time and the 20 bucks disappeared after just a few "pulls"....I swear I could hear those computerized laughing at me 
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Latest reply: Jul 1, 2002
The dream:
Posted Jun 19, 2002
I was asked in the Question's Only thread to put my dream down into the Journal so that it could be looked at.
Word of warning, I don't usually remember my dreams or even of having them so I don't usually try to pull things from them. Having said that, this will be a little different for me. I don't know how the dream really started or how the following relates to much of anything.
I have no idea what type of car that I was driving or where I might have been heading but, the road I was on took me behind a hospital of some sort. It was kinda like driving behind a Wall Mart as a short cut. I passed the hospital then I came back at some point and people that I knew (at the time only I don't know who they are right now) were taking things out of boxes off the back of a truck. Now these boxes were most assuredly supposed to be going to the hospital. I went up to somebody who I knew (again I am not sure who it is right now) and asked them what was going on. I saw that they were taking some type of medication from the boxes and pocketing them. Asking me if I wanted some I tried to tell them no and explain to them that that what they were doing was wrong. I tried to explain why stealing was wrong. They all thought this was quite amusing and tried to argue with me and try to show me that it wasn't stealing. I don't remember their arguments but, I knew they where full of empty logic and that they were trying to justify their actions by talking circles around the actual issues. Now this medication was I think some type of stimulant used for allergies or at least that is what I associated it with. I am not totally sure shy they wanted the medication so bad. I know it would look like a simple case of taking them to get some type of high or buzz but for some reason the allergy seemed to figure prominently into it. I remember arguing with them that this medication isn't even over-the-counter medicine, that it had to be prescribed by a doctor. This they found even funnier then the stealing argument I had made. Now around this time I groggily woke up and turned off the alarm clock and went right back to sleep (I was bad this morning ) Now you would think that dream would have been gone by the time sleep hit me again but, the only change was now we were in the future and the drug these people had been stealing had been found to cause birth defects in children. There was some kind of big court case where people who had taken the drug were suing the company that had put it out, and among the people that were suing were the people that I knew that had obtained the drug without prescription and by theft. They were suffering from the same ailments and there children were born with the same problems. Now here is where the questions that seemed so important at the time came in...what was I supposed to do..for some reason I had to make the dession because I was going to be part of the trial or something whether I should let the court know how those people had been introduced to the drug and whether they should even receive any of the pending compensation from the drug company...if I ratted out my friends (I am pretty sure they where my friends) then that could jeprodize the case for the people who had been prescribed the drug and had problems with there children in the years that followed..Did my friends, considering the way they came by it, deserve to get compensation? My gut feeling was they shouldn't and that there misfortune was a consequence for their (I guess I will use this word) sin. I also felt that they were once again doing wrong by even trying to get compensation. Would I be making a bigger mistake/sin if I came forward with the information and the prevented the innocent people from getting the compensation? Did I have any right to step up and challenge these people? Those were the questions that were heavily on my mind this morning and that seemed important during the dream and right afterwards but after a while seems less and less important and doesn't really connect to anything else or any decisions that I am actually making at this time.
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Latest reply: Jun 19, 2002
I would like to tell everything but today I will tell what I can and no more ;)
Posted Jun 17, 2002
It has been a while sense I updated my Journal here. I am not sure how often if ever anyone checks up on my space but, just in case I will let you know what I have been up to as of late. I find myslef looking towards the future...and not knowing where my roads will lead. In the imeadite past we just finished up our 15's seasons...I am told that I didn't to a too horible of a job playing seeing as how this was my first ever season of Rugby but, I see a summer of training so that by fall I might move up to being the second worse person on the team well if someone breaks a leg at least. My group here at work has passed through some tough months of layoffs unscathed but some of the people that I have worked with from other departments have been let go. Word from the top is that we are sitting in very interesting times and that we are not out of the hot water by far...that does present a chalenge when I think about the future. It doesn't seem like it was all that long ago that they were talking about moveing me out to the headquarters and giving me a job a couple of steps up from where I am now. Luckly that didn't happen because I am sure that posistion would of been one of the first let go. So what happens now...where do I go now...in the imeadite future I will have some nice company around the 4th of Jul and with this company we will head on out to Shea and TJ's wedding...then there is a PA meet-up in Aug with some food and rides...and I have a convention that I am putting on with some close friends for another org I am with that will happen later that month...but those things are very short time things..what shall I do with my space in life...well I have been thinking more and more about it...I would like to go back to school that's alway's there but do I really want to be a full time student and work full time here in NY....I am not ready to go back to NC as of yet...In the back of my mind my self set time limit to decide if I want to go back into the Army is ticking down...I have only two years until I had planned to make my choice...will I put it off will I just decide that I should or shouldn't....I have a friend in right now that has stated he is going to go back to school when he gets out in 2 years at a school near my home in NC...will I join him there to hang out and go to school while he does his masters and I finaly get started on my degree...if that is my plan should I go back a year before him so I am already in full school mode by the time he gets there....what do I want to get my degree in...should I stay with what I have always felt I wanted to go into or have I decided that physics is not the direction I want to go anymore...do I still want to teach these High School kids or have I changed so much in the past 5 years that it will not work for me....am I even ready for school...will I just go back into my rutt when I go to school...what happens if I get layed off before then should I look for another job here..should I look for a job around the contry or globe...should I just take it as a sign to go straight back to NC and hit the books...have I really acomplished anything yet...if I don't leave this place will I ever acomplish anything....Would you belive the idea of getting laid off and going back to NC seems like I will be defeted...isn't that more scary to me then many of my other choices...havn't I thought about that a great deal...do you know how many people from my home town have tried to leave only to get sucked back in and stuck there for the long run always wondering what if?....Did you know if it came down to it that I would take two junky jobs just so I wouldn't have to go back under any circumstances then by my own choice..is that just stupid pride....do you think anyone that's asked me about are you comeing back next season (the rugby team) or stuff that's more then 4 or 5 months down the line thinks it's weird when I say if I am here....isn't kinda funny that I am going to PA in aug when I had once thought about takeing a year or so off from everything when I got out of the Army and see if there was anyway I could work for a room on an Amish farm that way I would be away from all the distractions and think about the future, god, and where I fit into the universe....would you guess that I still think about it....wouldn't all my friends think I had totaly lost my mind if I did something like that...the big star trek, tech, computer using person going a whole year with out all his suposid favorite things...do you even think that an Amish family would let me work for them for a room....shouldn't I check while I am in PA....I am tired of many things....I am tired of takeing so long to talk to people I don't know especialy when I am in a place that is so full of people that don't know and don't care for more then about 9 people unless you count the relitives....I have been getting better and sense then I have been meeting a lot more people so mabye this NY leg of my life is helping me to grow....ok so I have rambled for a while about nothing much....so as for this very strange un edited ramble of a journal entry that will be about all folks
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Latest reply: Jun 17, 2002
Wow I am getting good at updateing this whoya
Posted Apr 8, 2002
Ah another thrilling weekend....well not quite thrilling but not at all bad....Both the 'A' and 'B' Side teams won against the fellows from Providence....and I think I have imporved greatly in my control of the scrum...We wheeled or stole the ball on 75% of their put ins so I was quite pleased with that....After takeing a refreshing nap on Sun I got to see Death to Smochey....very very funny movie...right up my aley
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Latest reply: Apr 8, 2002
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