h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Kitty is a little bored because Ændr is spending lots of time writing her thesis and not enough time with Kitty.*
*Kitty knows Ændr needs to do lots of writing and it's very important, but still feels rather lonely. Ændr's up to 79 pages now, though AND she has a job offer for a real proper job. Kitty wonders what it will be like to live in Bracknell for a few months, then move to Exeter.*
*Kitty curls up by Pandora's back door and sleeps with one eye, while the other watches the birds flying around.*

Kitty!!!!! ...*smothers Kitty in hugs and kisses almost to the point of annoying the poor fella'...*
Kitty, you can curl around the Christmas tree and stay toasty by the fireplace. I've got fresh fish cicles for you and even your favorite milk!!! I sorta' borrowed it from the Natural History Museum. sssssshhh
Ooooo...I know...while you're here...you can go to your caves and to Blue Hole and Oh Kitty, I've missed you!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Here's a nice big straw hat you can have now...and I have been told by a 'little birdie' that Santa has sumthin' special fer ya'!

...*sends card to Ændr...*
Dear Ændr, Kitty arrived safely. I understand that the people at the elk farm were a bit confuse-a-lated as he strolled past, but what can you expect from people who fence in elk? Hope the words for your thesis...pour from you like, er, like, words or sumthin'.
~Love Pandora &

*Kitty stretches in a contented sort of a way - he and AEndr knew Pandora would be good to see him.*

*Kitty carefully settles himself down by the fireplace, though in such a way as to not hog all the warmth but let Pandora warm herself in her favourite chair or snuggled by him.*

*Kitty sleeps.*

...*Pandora uses dule backscratchers to lull Kitty into a fuzzy sleep as she rocks in her cair...careful that Kitty's tail is well out of harms way...*

*Kitty stirs briefly to wish Pandora a Merry Christmas from Ændr as she's going home to visit parents now, and from himself as he probably will sleep right through again - although he did wake up for the very very first time round.*

...*Pandora and Kitty send a card to Ændr...*
Happy Holidaze Ændr we love you
Kitty & Pandora

*Kitty stirs, pads outside for a bit and returns with a basket which he lays down at Pandora's feet. In it, Pandora finds a lemon cake, 6 chocolate puddings, jars of lemon curd, damson jelly, myrtle jam and damson pickle and a note saying "Nollaig chridheil huibh (Scots Gaelic for Merry Christmas - moderators, just paste it into google), thank you for looking after our mutual friend, I hope you enjoy these handmade foodstuffs, Ændr"

Oooooo Kitty!!!
...*has Kitty put his paw on several ink pads so he can 'sign' his own card to Ændr...*
Pandora says thank you ever so much...she's still munching!!
And I want you to know I really do love it here....I miss you, of course but it's been a very long time since I've been to my best spots here. Today I'm off to Blue Hole. Lots of caves around and very cold fresh water!
We Love you!
Kitty
P.S.
hope I can stay 'til Spring
good fishing in the river

*Kitty wanders off briefly and returns with a card saying

"Dear Pandora and Kitty,
have written 147 pages so far. 2 more chapters to go. Have got proper job offer for Met Office, moving there in April. Glad to hear Kitty's enjoying himself. Catch one for me. Can Kitty stay with Pandora till I'm settled in please? Also learning to drive, have a car called "Kitten". Kitty should avoid the area till I am better at not crashing into cave lions. Back to work. Ændr"

Kitty then goes and suns himself on top of Pandora's roof*

Dear Ændr,
Kitty can stay as long as you/he likes.
On the weekend of the 28th (of March) I'll be moving into my big ole' house in the Village proper. Kitty's going to pull the trailer with my stuff in it! YAY!
Good thing the house is so huge! And it's even closer to Kitty's favorite haunts! Kitty and I have made plans to visit local places that keep exotic animals. While I keep the people busy telling me all about the place(s), Kitty will be rushing around opening all the cages. We've been planning this for some time now. It was Kitty's idea. I jusss love that big over grown kitty!
Take care & watch out for things like cave icons and es!
Love, Pan & Kitty
P.S.
Way to go on the "paper".

*Kitty pads out and returns with another note, this time written on paper with something which looks suspiciously like ick maths on the back*

"Dear Pandora,
Hope the move went well. Are you and Kitty settling in okay? Have finished first draft, am working on corrections from supervisor. Start work on Tuesday. Very busy. Please make sure Kitty doesn't forget to visit the Stone Age to see his mother on her birthday. She likes chocolate , if you can get some. Cheerio Ændr"

Dear Ændr,
If it wern't for Kitty the move might have finished off the last bit of grey matter which hangs from a lonely lobe.
I don't expect the teen next door will be breaking into this old house again. Kitty was quiet good about the entire matter. Although he didn't drop the boy the first time I asked. Now the kid has big purple bruises around his skinny butt. His parent wante me to thank you for them as 'Alex' is too sore/scared to continue behaving badly. Hmmm...new form of therapy that.
No prob. with Kitty's mum & the candies...fresh supply just flown in from Sweden. I've packed them in a heart shaped box with real orchids planted in the middle of the bow.
When Kitty returns I'm going to teach him how to play billards. We had a bit of a mis-understanding as he ate all the balls when the table arrived. Not to be alarmed...I took him straight away to the Animal Hospital. I must say, the Vet. was quiet good about NOT charging by the pound.
Kitty licked Dr. Clark's face until he looked freshly bathed.
All is good here.
If your supervisor gets to be a pain, please feel free to tell him/her Pandora said, "Bite Me."
Take care....
P.S.
I was going to post to you today but Kitty told me to wait & see if you posted 1st....& you did. Yay!
Love, &

*Kitty appears this time with a scrawl written on the back of some seemingly incomprehensible figures*

"Dear Pandora and Kitty,
oh dear re burglary, I hope the boys parents gave him an anti-tet shot, Kitty's usually quite bad at cleaning his teeth.

The chocolate box description is interesting - I doubt the orchids will survive very long in the howling blizzards there are Kitty's mother area this time in the stone age. Still, she does like eating flowers.

Billiards? hmm I can explain the eating of the balls - he's used to eating entire terry's chocolate oranges (foil and all) and probably thought the billiard balls were similar. However, he's got a very strong constitution and you shouldn't worry about taking him to the vet unless he's lost a limb in a scrap and is bleeding profusely (very unlikely, he hasn't lost a scrap since he was a cub.)

I've started work and am still finishing off my thesis in my spare time, hope to have it done by the end of the month. Oh, and I now have a second Italian niece.

Many skritches and scratches to Kitty.

Ændr"

Hi AEndr, I got an E-mail from Pandora and she would like for you to send her your E-mail address again. Apparently it was sucked into a black hole.

She misses you and will be back on hootoo as soon as she can.

Hypatia

Dear Ændr,
The kid next door has been good as gold since kid-vs-Kitty ;-D

Silly Kitty...he's taken a liking to floping across the slate peek of the house! At first I was afraid he might fall...then with one leap he was on the neighbors roof looking into that 'bad boy's' room!
hahaha....Well bad-boys fear to tread where Kitty lerks!

Also Kitty has a habit of laying up my steep staircase and laying his head upon the landing! He's so cute!

Thanks for explaining the bilard balls...that had me wondering!

Kitty recieved a thank you note from his mother...seems she enjoyed the frozen flowers as well as the choccy-fish candies! ...came postage due. As it was written in stone it was a heafty fee...but well worth it to hear Kitty purr so loudly!

We wish you well with your j*b as well as the paper. Poor lass..

Take care!!
Love, &

~~~~~~~&congarts again! Auntie Ændr!

*Kitty thinks that AEndr's life seems way too confusing again*
*Kitty brings in a letter from Exeter - it seems she has moved there now and is busy working and correcting her thesis and putting together flatpack furniture. She now has a sofa though, which is Good but he fears it might not be up to supporting his weight.*

PS her email address is [email protected] and she's also had her viva and passed her driving test.

Wow. I'm truely impress-a-lated. YAY!

BTW I lost everything on my hard drive. I think it happened when Kitty put mac on the roof, in the rain cuz I was paying too much time with the internet & not enough w/Kitty.

Sending lots of salmoncycles & chocolate orage & raspberry balls!

*Kitty returns, with a thick red hardback book with the words "The Tropical Tropopause, DPhil Thesis submitted Trinity 2004" and aendr's name on the cover. After major corrections, aendr's finally done.*
*Kitty rests his head on his paws, tiredly*