Journal Entries
Insightfully Meaningless Writings Of Random Specificity #20
Posted Feb 22, 2003
SO begins another installment in the IMWRS. After what must have been months, I now have to sit here and listen (or rather type) to Aaron's blither. I mean really, what can a cursor do but sit here and blink. And the very presence of my blinking sets him off on irritating tangents, spreading vicious lies about me and his mother and me and his father and me and his dog. How repulsive.
Okay, so I transgressed with the dog once, but I was young and it felt right. I am sure you, reader, have had moments where you wish you could go back in time and fix things. If I could back in time I would go back to that moment when toilets were invented. Porcelain, while a very suitable and stain resistant material (depending on the user . . . you know the type who leave the skid marks) is just not user friendly. Nothing is worse than sitting on a quasi-frigid material at oh-dark-thirty when you got the beer poops. Hangovers are bad enough, but a frostbitten bum has got to be the mother of all unpleasantness. And lets not forget about those moments when the toilet becomes an alter you bow at for hours on end. They could at least come outfitted with head rests. Nothing special, I mean if hair salons can get them why can they be a residential certainty. Think about it, how much more pleasant the whole vomit thing would be if you didn't have to hold your own head. Mayer for women a small tool to hold their hair back could be added.
Think of all the things one could do to a toilet to make them more versatile. At least more versatile than a "dump"ing ground, pun intended. We spend enough time on the thing that a couple extra features couldn't hurt. If a Dodge Caravan can have a TV installed for whiny, spoiled, pimply-faced, loud-mouthed rich kids, why can't the average pooper get one on their toilet? Nothing would make some of my movements more likeable, if not enjoyable if I could enjoy my favorite day time drama. Nothing special though, no need for a plasma screen or anything. Just one that turns on when you sit on it. A little remote maybe, or instead of that you have to turn the toilet roll to change channels or wiggle the handle. The volume can be controlled by oscillating your hips perhaps. For the more endowed, and I mean with money, an optional VCR or cable uplink. Now we can never miss that scene in the movie, or how that show ends that you have invested 4 hours or your life watching.
Or perhaps a singing toilet. One that plays soothing melodies that help "pass" the time. A sing along perhaps. Follow the bouncing fart maybe. Manufacturers can put a large UHF antenna, that confidently can double as a toilet paper spool, and the "doo"er can release to the local radio. Or better yet, a toilet CB radio. Just be careful when asked what your "20" is!!! Smokey and the Bandit sure take on a different role, huh?
Toilet fortunes!!! The toilet, having analyzed the droppings can spit out a fortune (made of fecal wipes) and tell you the future. To much cholesterol, a heart attack. A spot of blood, oncoming hemorrhoids. A little fur, a gerbil perhaps. Or they can simply be used for those over 40 men who need the unloving touch of a doctor's finger.
Toilets can be used for recycling. You know the feeling, having gone to urinate only to return to the fridge and find yourself out of beer. Toilets can scientifically analyze your "off"ings and chemically recombine them to rebottle beer. Perhaps Budweiser can patent a recombining system that adds that familiar king of beers taste. Obviously this can only be used for liquid wastes of a certain sort. Using solids would just be disgusting.
Public Restrooms can certainly benefit from this idea. Adding a little money to already inflated prices can help produce an economic surplus. Think about it.
Movie theaters for instance could make a killin' with this idea. We all have been there; right in the middle of a movie we paid far too much to see, drinking soda that costs too much to drink. The bladder buster I call it. Or maybe you had that butter on the popcorn when you shouldn't have. Every theater should have its own stalls for those that need a movement in medious-rea. One can sit, or stand depending on preference more than gender, and still watch the movie that they mortgaged a house for.
Shopping venues can benefit too. No longer are carts full of extraneous clothes to be left unaccompanied. Now a person could role up their cart to the cashier, and should the urge over take them they can purchase their necessities while leaving their necessities at the same time.
Well, that's all for now. If you have any ideas please feel free to leave them. And as Aaron will be coming back soon, I should be off. Gotta GO!!!
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Latest reply: Feb 22, 2003
Insightfully Meaningless Writings Of Random Specificity #15
Posted Aug 2, 2002
And once again, for the 15th time I find myself sitting here with my heart in the right place and my cursor once again thwarts me. Only this time I got rid of my monitor so I can't see it. I will show him".
And I am sure you are all wondering what my interests might be entwined around today. Well this time it is about humanity. Now I am not talking about the human "race" per say, but more about our attitude. At least one facet, and it is a facet that saddens me sometimes. But without any further ado let me elaborate.
Diogenes once said, "I threw my cup away when I saw a child drinking from his hands at the trough." Now this quote can mean a lot of different things to different people. But for me it means that one needs to see the reality of the world when examining his own existence. Kinda prophetic don't you think? But one might ask when I though about this, or what sparked this train of thought? Well, let me tell you. It was at the local shopping mall. And one might then wonder why in all that God holds dear would I be pondering the humanity of the world around me at the local shopping mall. Well, then I would ask, "Doesn't everyone?" Then I would realize the silliness of this question and then go on to illustrate my point.
It was a sunny morning here in Watertown, NY. I, having just moved into my place, was seeking to purchase some nice adornments for the walls of my 2-bedroom apartment. Now then, I get out of my truck and start making my way into the mall. I notice at a distance that there was a homeless gentleman sitting outside the door of the mall asking the passers-by for some change. I kinda smiled half heartedly (you know the way you do when you see something sad but realize that is just the way it is) and dig into my pockets for some spare change to give this guy. I figure, God and all those around me have blessed me with good fortune, so I can at least spare some change. Everyone is worth some change. But, also in front of me is a about 3-4 groups of people, you know families and such. Well, of course this guy asks them for some change. Well, it was like they had been accosted or violated for the change. It was as if he was rumplestilskin asking for their first-born. These people, within ear shot of me, go on to say stuff like "Get away from me you bum," and "Why should I, you'll just buy alcohol," and "Get a job." This guy just accepts their response and goes on asking. It obviously hurt the man, but he needed some money so he kept at it. That is about the time I arrived to him. He asked me, and of course I obliged him. He wasn't asking me for my paycheck, or a large sum . . .just what ever I had in pocket. And when I handed it to him, he had the look of a child under a Christmas tree. I couldn't have made that man any happier. Then I listened to his story for a couple minutes. He had the most disparaging one I have heard yet. I mean they make country songs about this stuff. And whether or not it is true is not important, he believed it so in my mind it happened. And I wished him a good day and made my exit. Saddened of course, but I went on with my existence as he did his. He wasn't looking for special favors; he was looking for pocket change. Hey, we all get cancer, we all can get AIDS, we all get sick or have a bad time. WE ARE ALL HUMAN BEINGS. WE ARE ALL HUMANS BEING (and yes I meant the spelling). And this is when I thought of Diogenes and this quote.
You see, more often than not, we go through life thinking that we are the only ones with problems and that all other problems with all other people are subordinate than everybody else's. Everyone, including this gentleman I speak of is no different, is luckier than someone else. I have not met that man or woman at the bottom yet; though I have met people that are further down the food chain we call "society" than myself. All tom often we see our lives as special and having no bearing on those around us. This is not the case, in my opinion. And I am not going to get all religious on you, for that is not my way, I think that way sucks. But I will get all "HUMAN" on you. We all have problems; we all fall on bad times at one point or another. But some people never recover. Now sure there are those that are purely lazy in their existence and we see them from time to time, but to stereotype all those who fall in the category of unfortunate as all the same is wrong. And most of us think the dollar of fifty cents we drop in the collection basket on Sundays is enough, and we leave the church or place of worship feeling good about ourselves, when someone maybe not even a mile away is eating the 4 day old raw chicken pieces we threw away. Simone Weil wrote once, "Attachment is the greatest fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached." And I know I am getting all "Buddha" on you, but the precepts of this quote and Buddhism as well appeal to my sense of humanity. So pardon the "soap box" as you will. But no problem amongst humans is any greater than anyone else's. Sure, sometimes we get preoccupied with our lives and our own needs and necessities. . that is only human. But to turn a blind eye to those who need more than we have is probably the greatest sin we can commit. In my opinion, worse than murder. You may say, "Hey he will only buy alcohol with the money." And I say, I buy alcohol with my money, you might buy it with yours, does this make us evil or immoral or lazy. NO. Who cares what he or she does with the money. You helped to stop a pain for a couple minutes. And you might say "Well he or she is just lazy and a slob and a detriment to society." And I would argue that you don't know the hard times they have fell upon, so who are we to judge. And until you can separate yourself like Weil said, then you can never know the reality, for in your mind a reality of the world will always be subjective. Every opinion we have is always biased with our own morals and ethics and background. But it isn't until you can get to the heart of the matter and separate your natural judgment that you can truly understand what it is that makes us what we are. Everyone has a story. Everyone has a pain. NO pain is any greater or any lesser than anyone else's. Do you honestly think that that mother with 4 children that is to poor to afford birth control or baby formula is proud that here house says "UHAUL MEDIUM SIZE BOX" on it? Every existence is wrought with some amount of suffering. It is the acknowledgement of this suffering that makes a human truly a human.
So what is the point of this article? I am sure we have all seen the people on the corner, whoring themselves for money, or begging in the front of the capitol building. Just once, only once is all I ask, rather than pass someone by despite their plea for kindness, ask them what made them that way. Strive to understand why they have to sleep with strangers for money, or beg to you in all your haughtiness for what ever it might be in your pockets. If you are unsatisfied with the answer . . .so what. It isn't your existence. And it isn't your place to justify theirs. Give the beggar the money, and walk away from the whore. Just don't pass judgments until you really know where it is that life went wrong for THEM. Until the reality of that sets into your mind, you have NO place to pass a judgment. Is judgment human? Yes it is. Is it called for? More often than not, NO. I have seen the homeless, and the contrite, and the unfortunate all my life. And at the beginning I passed the same judgments upon them. But that is because I knew no better. Now, I understand that to every life a little rain must fall. To some the rain never stops. We all go home to our places of residence, to our friends, to our family, to our lives. Some people can ever go home. Random acts of kindness are great. But constant ones are better. The kernel of truth will only be learned from LISTENING, not JUDGING. When faced with that that is different from our own, seek the reality behind it, rather than the reality you put upon it.
So to you all fellow researchers, I wish Godspeed and I look forward to hearing of your further endeavors.
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Latest reply: Aug 2, 2002
Aware
Posted Jul 20, 2002
INSIGHTFULLY MEANINGLESS WRITINGS OF RANDOM SPECIFICITY #
"The aim of life is to live, and to leave means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware." Henry Miller.
I was flipping through some documents at work and noticed this little flip of intelligence scribbled on some long lost, forlorn piece of yellow sticky paper. You know the type, the ones that curl up on the ends to reveal a once sticky surface but now has been covered with dust and what look like hairs from small headed beasts. I have no idea what conspired on the scribblers mind when he wrote this, or even who this individual was. But the scrap of post-it note was rescued from the oblivion of my desk draw. . .sorry to say that important phone number or report that is three days overdue didn't have the same fortune.
I have no idea of the context of this sentence in its original state, nor am I to familiar with Henry Miller's work per say. I am sure to say, however, that these few words of scribble I would like to say really appeal to me. The aim of life . . . that, beyond a shadow of a doubt, has to be one of the many important questions that people search for. I mean, we all want to know what our life means and what our purpose for being. I know I do. At some point, we all drift a little towards shores we shouldn't or never before couldn't get to. The more prophetic use these philosophical ideals to try to unravel that which we al search for. Buddha said all life was suffering, Miller beer is the high life, Life is a garden- dig it. I know these are probably ridiculous comparisons, and probably have no similarities whatsoever; it just kinda fit the conversational stream. Faulkner called it the stream of consciousness. .. You know the whole lack of punctuation and the . . . anyway I have digressed.
Let's examine the first premise. The aim of life is to be aware. Well, Mr. Miller, what exactly were you trying to say to use with that little piece of knowledge. Aren't we all aware? Don't we all go day to day being aware? NO. . .NOPE. . .NIET. . .NON. . .NEGATIVE GHOSTRIDER THE PATTERN IS CLEAR. We don't go day to day being aware, and perhaps in those instances, according to MR. Miller, we don't really live. I mean John Lennon did say that "Life is what happens when we are making plans." But alas, in all honesty we all go through portions, though some bigger than others, where we simple exist. Sometimes if someone were to ask us "Are you alive or did you forget that you died?" and when pressed for a response we wouldn't know what to say. Haven't you ever, reader, gone through a whole day and when it was over, after you had taken that last shower or drank that last beer, wondered just what in the heck you did that day. Haven't you ever, reader, awoke one morning and feel like that was the day, the day when you did something or received something or became something, and once the opportunity arose you had "responsibilities" and couldn't be bothered with that which was not "responsible?"
What does it mean to be aware, though? It's more than just being knowledgeable about your surroundings. It's more than just being awake and knowing anything. And you reader, are probably wondering where I am going with this whole aware thing, so lets let me get on with it. TO be aware, to the author, is to know how grass flows in the wind. TO understand how a cloud brings wind or rain with it. When you talk to someone to look into a person's eyes and realize the true person that is speaking and not just some disgruntled or fake façade that comes with physical. Being aware is just a series of instances really. For surely, we cannot be aware all the time, the sensations would overwhelm us and turn us not into realists, but surrealists. Unawareness may indeed be a way to protect us mentally. Just once reader, when you drive home from work, concentrate on how the steering wheel feels, or when you tilt your hand upwards when you have it out your window how it lifts. Just for once, reader, when buying that random grocery at the gas station, ask the clerk how he/she is doing and for once become interested. Being aware is to be there. I know that sounds like some sort of Zen riddle, but if you just look at the words for themselves its true. To be aware is to be in that moment and no where else.
We all bring the pressures of life and work and love home with us in our lives. We all live in that moment of each day that we want to most important. We get, in our way, brainwashed to think that which may, in the long run, be unimportant is the most important. Who cares whether or not the PowerPoint presentation isn't ready when you sit down to dinner with your wife and children? Who cares? I hope you don't. Being aware, being alive, means to let go and live for what life gives you. Work to live, not live to work. And when the pressures of the day come home, when you are home be at home. Work is work. Life is life. Love is love. Each of which has its own awareness. And each of which needs to be taken for it and it alone.
Alright, now onto the next part . . . joyously. Mr. Miller might have been touching on the fact that people aren't always happy with the cards they have been dealt. At times all of us go through unhappy spells, or at least less happy than usual. But really, if life is living, why live it unhappy. After all, we only face ourselves when we look in the mirror. Joyously is easy. . Just be happy . . . thank you Mr. Miller . . . we didn't realize that.
Okay, onto my favorite . . . drunkenly. Now those of you readers that have ever met me know by now that the temptations of the bottle are slightly more than I can resist. But did Mr. Miller really refer to drunken in the alcohol vein or in the vein of that which life gives us that propels us forward without any regard and that which we embrace. Ever heard of being drunk on life? Did Mr. Miller mean that? I don't know. But first let's just assume Mr. Miller meant the alcohol portion. Lots and lots of chemical help can release us from reality. It can make us look at that which is what makes us feel good. It, in some ways, reduces us to the most basic of human conditions, and perhaps there is where life is. All too often, we go too far with which life gives us that is just simply a roadblock and not with that which gets us over the road block. With those of us that drink, we begin to pursue life with a reckless abandon. And when the night is over, some of us don't care, all we know is that we lived in that moment and that is all that matters. Now, let's assume Mr. Miller did not mean alcohol induced reality. Being in love with life . . . drunk on the essence. . I don't even pretend to understand that one. . But surely there are those that do. But where does it go from there? I don't know? Perhaps you, the reader, can help the author with that.
OK. Now onto my final point. Serenely and divinely aware. Here is where the transcendental comes into play. Whether or not one believes in a God or not, this applies to all of us. There is a transcendental regardless of sacred beliefs. And once we get to know that which is beyond us, we can never understand that which is within us.
SO to you my fair reader, I wish you Godspeed and I do so look forward to hearing from you.
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Latest reply: Jul 20, 2002
I have returned
Posted Apr 7, 2002
.And NO that isn't a shot at a cheap McArthur Rip. I got back from the war yesterday. So to all "youse" guys. . .after 6 months of fighting the taliban, Al-Quada and IMU I am safely home and ready to partake in whateva you offer
aaron
Cobra 2-6 out
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Latest reply: Apr 7, 2002
Fear Not
Posted Oct 4, 2001
We are the best trained. I will be fine. Godspeed to you all.
Aaron
Cobra 2-6 out
Discuss this Journal entry [52]
Latest reply: Oct 4, 2001
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Aaron O'Keefe the anti-pajama man (ACE)
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