Journal Entries
Rose tinted monitor?
Posted Sep 4, 2003
OOooooohh, its just so sweet and nice. Everything. I'm sober now, but feeling a little worse for wear as I must have banged my head on every piece of furniture in the house last night. Drunk.
I kind of feel sorry for him (Andy) because there's not much he can do, I have my claws in! He just doesn't know it yet. 
Happy-happy, joy-joy. Ping-ponging off the walls here.just thought I'd share my happiness with the world. 
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Latest reply: Sep 4, 2003
More less dissoriented mush (sp?)
Posted Sep 3, 2003
He will let me! I asked. I have gone all silly. Googley. This is several weeks later and I am moving house this weekend too. All these things just keep happening. He's downstairs as I type, I'm drunk because are having an 'Alex is f*****g off' houseparty.
Gotta say it. I LOVE YOU ALL, I LOVE EVERYBODY! There, thats my input for the week!
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Latest reply: Sep 3, 2003
Disoriented mush.
Posted Aug 9, 2003
Thats what I currently feel like, I feel dizzy. I went out to an electro goth night called spellbound and ended up confessng my 'obsession' to Andy... he already knew and a bit later on apparently said to my housemate "oh shit, shes trying to nail me". tried, failed, I dunno. Aarrrggg, brain hurts. I was out of my mind on tuesday anyway, definately not compus mentus, I dont remember much of what was said, I got a kiss. Echoes Echoes.I have so many echoes inside me I feel like the elephant man.
For some reason on wednesday I was really happy, more like deluded,I spent most of the day sat on a park drinking milk.In the sunshine. It was nice.
Why do things have to be complicated? Why cant it all be easy and natural, rather than stilted or awkward? why can't I turn around and say; why wont you let me love you? Will you? Is it the age difference?
Its strange, he's older but so vulnerable, probably been hurt more times, and hes not entirely sane. good, that means i know how to deal with him i guess. Sane poeple throw me. sane as in normal, bog standard, average, ignorant. like me from a different perpsective. im boring myself now. going.
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Latest reply: Aug 9, 2003
Got to up sticks.
Posted Jul 31, 2003
well, yesterday i had my fist ever house meeting, after living here for three months. The general summary is: us lot living together is not working, someone has to go. me. Hopefully i'm going to poach my housemate Ben and make him come and live somewhere else with me. I dont think i could live without him now. strange how it happens that i didnt really know him when i moved in and now i love him so much and my other friend Suzie, who i have known since school, has drifted away. Her boyfriend hates me, i suppose that doesnt help.
This is all a little fragmented, to explain: At the moment i live with my a girl called Suzie, her boyf Richard and a guy called Ben. Its not nice liviong with someone who doesnt like you, its quite oppressive, although he doesnt antagonise me, he ignores me. Even if i address him directly, he acts as thoguh he hasnt heard when i know he has. this bigs me becasue there are such things as manners and common courtesy, or in this case, uncommon. gggrrr. besides, being ignored annoys me more than anything else he could do. I bet he knows this. GGgrrrr.
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Latest reply: Jul 31, 2003
Not really much to go on...
Posted Jul 7, 2003
Trying to think, There isn't really much that has happened since my last entry worth writing about. I lie. There is but it's about the aforementioned boss so I'm going to give it a miss. Silly Alex.
Nothing much, other than pissing my housemate Suzie off by demonstrating that the trousers she gave me two months agao, that were slightly tight, now hang off me, Woot! This is a good thing! I'm not going to harp about being fat and wanting to lose weight and look like a supermodel becasue thats never going to happen. I even admit that I'm not that large, just a bit pudgy.But... I'm getting to a point where I'm happy with the way I look. Eventually. I'm going to log off now before I bore any prospective readers to death. 
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Latest reply: Jul 7, 2003
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