h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

flys.... apparently feeling more nonnormal every day,. Sometimes, I even feel, like I'm not entirely detached and abscent from where I am... which is kinda nice... really kinda nice...
Cooked a chicken and veg noodle stir fry tonight.
may attempt making bread soon.

I gather, I used to make bread a lot....
I kinda remember that I used to make bread, as in I know I did, but, oddly, can't really recall doing so.
It'll be weird making it again, I guess, kinda like starting back anew, though some of the memories of the actual process, haptic memories, may still remain once I try it again. Bit scarey really, some of the stuff I mus have just forgot. and, just very weird those bits of .. various things I can recall
currently struggling with a few technology things, I oughta have breezed through sorting in seconds....
Throat nearly back to normal... after the radiation
Armpit seems to have taken the worse of the zapping in terms of skin dammage, the rest of the area, including, oddly, over the neck/throat where it hurt when swallowing, seems pretty much entirely untouched - I blame the vast amount of coconut oil, dreamcream moisturiser, E45 cream, and aquious solution which has gone onto my skin the past six months in particular not to mention all the lush bath bombs melts and... stuff

I may visit the cavens of Lush again, Wednesday - need more shower smoothy, and some more bombs and melts and things; plus see if any of the now discontinued putty for my hands, is left, so I can stock up that stuff is just so

Still trying to get my head to work enough to pen the letter to PALs at the hospital, and stuff

not long before its time to temazipam myself and get to bed, nearly two hours since melatonin.

Going ten pin bowling tomorrow night. for ... first time in ages... probably first time since last year? not sure.... can't recall really last time I did it, and only vague memory of ever having bowled... which oughta mean I'm ... pretty damn useless - not entirely convinced I've the strength or stamina for a whole two games worth, but I'll try... if things get too tiring I ... can always resort to guinness to get me through

the green linen top/blouse I bought in the charity shop the other day, err, actually W bought it for me is so gorgeous - had an odd moment earlier;

buttoning up this shirt, an old linen one, I'm weraing, after showering earlier;

fingers; do up buttons.

fingers "buttons are wrong"
me; "they can't be wrong"
fingers; " wrong wrong wrong buttons wrong"
me *thinks* "huh. somethings up with these buttons".....

Took me... some time to figure out... ; they're on the 'wrong' side, as its... a male shirt didn't think I'd been wearing that much female stuff recently... but... maybe I had - I can do female buttoned blouses up and down, one handed with left hand or right easier than I can now, on male shirts - oddly, I now do buttons up and down, easier with my left hand, despite my being ment to be right handed I'm definately more ambidexterous than I used to be... how very... very... nonnormal

I'm still convinced I've more weird left to discover.... some of which I think is for discovering on the 11th; the dat eof the endocrine prof meeting... when he should have the blood results from today (FSH, LH, testosterone, prolactin, TSH, IL-1 etc) could be... even more complicating of my overall endocrine weirdness, and potentially crossing over with the oncology/hemotology stuff, as the testosterone is almost certianly down, even more due to the chemo, even if it was low already, due to hypopituitism...

gona try get back into reading books again soon. not read anything since, probably December or January, just not had any concentration... ; may restart by reading a few well thumbed ones, I've read before, try work up my concentration levels somewhat before tackling anything new mind, I've probably forgotten any I read, towards the second half last year I guess

oops, must go take some drugs and head bedwards must get stuff done effeciently tomorrow, so I can shower early, and eat early, before ten pin.... if I'm feeling particularly mischievious.... I may wear one of the new blouses I bought recently... perhaps not a skirt though right. must go do drugs

Good to hear your throat is nearly back to normal - whatever that is. But it sounds good. Sounds like you're on the mend

On the mend is probably about right - awkward to know for sure, when I really can't recall what I was... who I was... before all this.... recent interuptions to non-normality occured But... definatly getting there... ten pin bowling tonight, for first time in ... forever, and then off to my Dads, for a few days, middle of this month

I'm sure getting a couple of decent nights sleep is helping a lot.

Looking at the temazipam strip, I've had four tablets so far. each night I've had one, I've slept at least 7, sometimes 8, and the once, nearly 10! hours!; err, averaging that out, 10, + 7 + 7 + 8 = 32?

32 hours sleep. what? in four days? = during chemotherapy 32 hours sleep would be a months worth of sleep. seriously.

yeh. maybe the sleeping has helped a bit. <wow. actually. scratch that... its helped hell of a lot. I feel entirely differnt 'within' myself, as it were... - things seem more real; it actually feels like I'm touching things, when I touch them; my feet feel like they're contacting the floor when I'm moving about/walking around; when I'm outside, walking down the street, I've a sense that I'm in the same physical location as William, next to me, and other people I hear passing by, and as the cars/traffic moving about etc- the disconnect is way deminished basically - not quite so freaked out/disturbed by lots of background noise/sounds, etither.... - just my concentration still very wonky, and of course strength and stamina -but they're gradually improving too I think... neuropathy still just there, but, I guess managible I think; just takes me longer doing any given task; e.G., I really have to concentrate just pouring water from kettle, lining up a water glass with the stream of water from the tap; using both hands, and taking time, to locate table, efore putting tea cup down, etc; and being ultra cautious (which I hate in many ways), when cooking on the hob etc... - I've had enough burns to my hands to last a lifetime I think by now - of course, now the neuropathy has deminished so much; I can feel it when I burn myself

busy day... well, just want to get stuff done before I'm out to ten pin;

omelette eaten for lunch/brunch.

kitchen cleaned, utility room cleaned, laundry nearly washed I think...

next up clean bathroom; may try for an afternoon bath, before ten pin - second dose of ydrocortisone soon, maybe another cup of disolvable paracetamol, throat still somewhat sore from radiation dammage...

Right. must go drink this cup of jasmine tea, then get on and clean the bathroom, then I can have a look at this letter to patient leiasion people

For sleep, I still would suggest a CPAP machine.

Makes the task of sleeping much easier having a little mechanical assistance breathing.

I never realized how hard I was working at breathing while sleeping until I got on to my own CPAP machine.

If your blood is black rather tban red, you probably need one.

Mine turned red again after about 6 months on the machine.

CPAP ? - not sure anything much is wrong with my blood really; hemaglobin remained fine, throughout all of my chemo, so guessing its also OK now - whites and other blood cell stuff, was almost or back to, normal, last time they did bloods for chemo... err, about two months back - went for bloods yesterday morning (endocrinology ones), and got back that my folic acid/folate is now also back to normal - obviously I've the endocrine stuff, so don't have any cortisol in my blood, but have the replacement hydrocortisone rom tablets instead, and also at the moment, don't have any testosterone at all, virtually, and my FSH and LH levels are def wonky, yet to find out about my IL- err... insulin like growth factor and prolactin and suchlike levels - my breathing is fine really; didn't get no reduced lung function from the bleo chemo drug, which is a common side affect; plus, I'm 6 months now, quit smoking, after twenty years of light/moderate smoking so... theoretically my lungs oughta be tip top - still convinced I've a weird thing with my blood pressure, but docs keep saying no... but... things like that can be looked at perhaps more with time, and once the endocrinology has calmed down a bit...

talking of low blood pressure; just cleaned bath, and didn't get any of the lightheadedness I was regularly getting from doing that (it was the bending over that did it I think); which is good, just a month back, I'd have needed a rest and a cuppa tea, to recover form a few mins just cleaning round the inside of the bath - yeh... think I'm gradually improving really... - mind, given I wasn't that normal to start with, I guess I@m lucky; not such a long distance from where I got too, o improve back to so-called 'normality' for me - tonight, ten pin... may be a bit of a test of my stamina and strength and also the dealing with noisey places thing taht is an odd side affect of the chemo - failing all else, I'll have beer to get me through the night

re post 6:

You are probably right, ITIWBS. Not sure a CPAP is what 2legs needs, but I could probably do with one myself since I have asthma, 30 kilos of overweight and people spread vicious rumours of me snoring.

I once shared a stateroom on a cruise with a friend. He was unaware that he had sleep apnea. After I informed him he saw a doctor about it and ended up with a similar device for sleeping and also a pacemaker.

Oy vey, a CPAP is quite enough, thank you very much

Or so I hope

I don't know how he didn't know he even snored. The sounds he'd make were frightful, and the silences leading up to them even more so.


I know I snore as I've woken myself up doing so. I hate sharing a room with anyone because of it.

Once, on a weekend trip, I was going to get a motel room for myself, but a couple I know insisted on splitting a double with me. I warned them about the snoring (and they'd heard it before on camping trips) and they still insisted.

OK, once you insist despite my warnings you do NOT get to bitch the following morning about my snoring.

>I don't know how he didn't know he even snored. The sounds he'd make were frightful, and the silences leading up to them even more so.

Yeah, I understood that from friends who told me similar. I knew I snored. I had no idea of apnoea. I do now. Sometimes I wake up during afternoon cat naps because my body seems to forget to breathe. It's not a recommendable situation.

>I know I snore as I've woken myself up doing so. I hate sharing a room with anyone because of it.

This I have known for a long time from myself. I NEVER share rooms with others. Maybe I should. Might save my life.

>once you insist despite my warnings you do NOT get to bitch the following morning about my snoring.

Affirmative

I've never had anyone I sleep with moan about my snoring... - and I do often hand out satisfaction questionaires to people I sleep with - more seriously, I don't think I snore in my sleep, if I do, then not much, and really don't think I've the apnia thing... - mind, half my hormone weirdness can upset sleep too, i think

was out ten pin bowling tonight, first time... since I don't know/can't remember when (guess end of last year maybe?)

felt so odd to start... then... just sort of ... err... normal

so noisy and crowded, and hot, but ... didn't 'get to' me as much as I thought it might, even though I had about 5 hot flushes too, whilst there


Sadly, chemo and RT hasn't done anything to improve my bowling... I'm still rubbish
only had two beers was just so busy at the bar, and we were being hastled by the manager to clear our lane

Normality... or at least my flavour of normality, is... perhaps not as far away as I might have thought
and... now I'm being told off on twitter for mixing alcohol and my slepeing drugs

I get to see a new every time I visit my dermatologists.

Yesterday's was the first ever to NOT tell me off for mixing my alcohol with my drugs

the last week or so of radiatiotherapy, whilst W was here, we went to the pub, every night... - circa 11 PM, I'd take my melatonin with beer to wash it down! so really not recomended I think

I found a way of reducing the problem, thank Bob. Now I can enjoy a little , , , and even the occasional at least once or twice a week

In my defence, not a single Dr even once mentioned to me, I shoudl avoid alcohol. - so. see. I'm not misbehaving - plus, of course, I can't read the packets od drugs, with their warning on.... - anyhow; just to make sure; I always carry my drugs to the pub, without their packaging, so you can't even tell by sight which drug is which! sorted! - atually most of my drugs are perminantly with me now, in my handbag; I got somewhat used to the emergency trips to hospital for infections, during chemo, i figured it was safere to keep my meds, nailfiles, andcream, cuticle oil, penknife, headphones, IPod, and other such of life's essentials, with me at all times - and my sunglasses of course,- I wear sunglasses, mind, because* I am obedient; my Dr told me I had to wear sunglasses, looser trousers, and looser knickers. well. 1 out of three is good for obeidence, afterall

Guess I have to admit I have indeed been misbehaving

I was told my chemo might make me lose my hair, render me nauseous and - if mixed with alcohol - even damage my liver. Didn't I tell you this before? Oh well, I'll just repeat myself: Turns out none of this happened. And now I've found out that if I take the chemo on Tuesdays it will be well away from the weekends when I usually enjoy a little more alcohol than recommended.
As it turns out I have quite a strong liver, judging from many moons of blood testing. Thank Bob!

My short term memory is so shocking now, thanks to my chemo... so you did probably say already - they've just never mentioned anyting about booze to me. so I figure.. natch Im ok to drink heck, Guinness kept my digestive system moving, better than the hospital tablets did, when in the middle of chemo Not sure I'd be safe with spirits anytime soon, and TBH, not sure I'd miss em anyhow really, so I may just give em a miss to be safe really, I just like beer, basically... prefer it to champaign, wine, etc... - anyhow, red wine was my only ever identifiable migraine trigger; having not drunk any in .... years and years, - I've never had any more migranes hmm... yeh, kinda mis the red wine a bit, a decent rioja grand reserva but... nah, not even that much... at least I get to keep beer