h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. -- Age Activated Attention
Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.

I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote, someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:
The car isn't washed,
The bills aren't paid,
There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
The flowers don't have enough water,
There is still only one check in my check book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
And I don't remember what I did with the car keys.


Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really
baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.

Oooooooh, is that what it's called?

And here was me thinking that I was just a bit ditzy!!!

Can I claim any benefits for suffering with this cruel affliction?

That was the funniest thing I've heard in a while and I think we've all had days like that!

I call that drunkenness... but we're all different, eh?

Somebody told me something i think. And it was funny. But i will wait till tomorrow to try & remember who & what. Oh hell, it IS tomorrow. Or was that yesterday? So does that mean it's today?

Why am i standing in the kitchen with a paperclip in my hand?

zdt

I call it a normal sort of a day

ABOUT GROWING OLDER...

First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about
your age and start bragging about it.

Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in
line for.

Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want
people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and
some of the roads weren't paved.

Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to
youth, think of Algebra.

Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up
or leaks.

Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the
top.

Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is
that it is such a nice change from being young.

Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has
been.

Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

Tenth ~ Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it
was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.

And finally ~ If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have
anything to laugh at when you are old.

I can see nothing unusual in the day, it sounds like a normal day in my life, only not so well packed with incident.

Deakie - AAADD and ditziness are not mutually exclusive

Skanky - Really, I need to go to your parties.

FF - I'm glad I could lighten your day a bit.

Spit - So, what are you saying? Are you getting old?

Terri -

LW - Long time no see - I'm glad you are doing well. I'm rather fearful for you if you think that is a "normal" day.

Sounds fairly normal to me also

not getting - got

Well Bed, we both *know* you're not quite right now, don't we.

I have what my mum affectionately (or should I say cruelly ) calls a 'dyslexic tongue,' where I say the exact opposite of what I really meant to say, and it seems to crop up every now and then when I least expect it. Although I don't have dyslexia in the sense of having difficulty reading or writing, it appears to be a very mild verbal form of the condition. It doesn't bother me though, and actually causes me and my mum more amusement than concern - hence the labelling of it as a 'dyslexic tongue.'

The main symptom of my 'dyslexic tongue' is getting opposite words mixed up, so instead of saying 'up' I'll say 'down,' when what I really mean is 'up.' And similarly, I'll say 'down' when I really mean 'up.' Another symptom, or example if you like, is I'll say 'long' when I mean 'short,' or 'old' when I mean 'young.' There seems to be no conscious effort on my part to mix the words up, at least none that I can detect, and it just seems to occur subconsciously and at rare times, usually making my sentence seem totally stupid because the word I mean is not the right one. Like if I said to my mum, "Could you please bring me up when you next go downstairs," she and I would both be upstairs and what I meant to say was "Could you please bring me down when you next go upstairs."

Fortunately, my 'dyslexic tongue' is very rare. Otherwise I would make no sense to anyone at all!

*waves to Cyberhuman* Long time no see. I've had something like that but with first letters instead of opposite words. The latest was "a touple of cimes".

Sounds like my kind of day too terri

Not quite right?

Not quite right?



You mean nowhere near right!!


'Twould be closer to the truth

Hello Cyber!!! Long time no see, I'm glad you are doing well. Dyslexic tounge sounds good to me.

I shall refrain from commenting on that!!




It'll only get yikesed

Dyslexic tongue is probably more common than you think. Viking certainly has it, but since we are squeaking Franglais anyway, it ceases to matter, we understand each other, as with you & your mum.

I doubt it does much to improve my french though, nor his English! I have a touch of it myself in french, i have ended up having to label the cupboard "placard" 'cos i keep saying "plafond" which means ceiling.

"Can you put the bread into the ceiling?" adds a certain "je ne sais quoi" to an already bizarre life & is likely to lead to all sorts of nonsense, he once started jumping up & down manically....

zdt

i don't understand this thread...