h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I agree with almost everything you say except about the mayo. I love mayonnaise. Can't stand salad cream though, that stuff stinks. And yes, there IS a difference!
A bloody squirrel got through an open window in our common room last week, raided the open kitchen cupboards and then thought it necessary to make a bit of a mess, if you know what I mean, on our best, comfiest sofa. So the litle buggers can go to hell.
Anyway, ciao for now!

Luv Your Friend the Good Angel xxx

ach ach ach ach ach..how can you eat that stuff..it is like the devils own semun...dammit...The same goes for Salad Cream so we are in agreement there..but please...can someone not just destroy this mayonaise stuff..i mean..where does it come from...is there a farm somewhere where the farmers jerk off cows...i mean....ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Anyway..I'll leave you for now with that thought.
(yup..think about it..get a good mental picture...you're not gonna shake that one for a while..just think of that whenever you see mayo....we'll soon have you cured)



(PS.I'm skinny..(and strangely enough have cheekbones) and have been known to wear mascara (occasionally..well not much) so do we need to trade..I need everything from your sofa..once Christopher recieves it all I'll Fed-Ex myself to you )

wow..those wwwwww's really screwed the page layout..oops

Man, you are rapidly putting me off mayo. That cow thing... you have a very sick mind .
And I'm not touching that sofa again, mainly because it was the 'Trendies' sofa, so apart from squirrel deposits there's no telling how much Pantene hair lacquer, Vaseline and Versace Yellow Jeans perfume there is soaked into the fabric.
And I think everyone's got cheekbones, otherwise their faces would collapse, so maybe I should change it to 'Keeper of skinny boys with very high, noticeable cheekbones who wear mascara'. Say eyeliner now, and then we're talking.

And I'm just having some mayonnaise on my turkey sandwich...right... now...put it on really thickly...yum!
*tries not to think of cows and farmers*

I think this is the corect time to Salute the Duke of Sodomy
Van Morrison
And his ode to B*****y
Brown Eyed Girl

Ok, I'm not going to contemplate why.
Are you going to T In The Park? Cos I'm not allowed and i'm severely p-ed off about it. King Adora are playing as well . If you are, think about me suffering at home on my own...

I'm not going to T in the park..I'm doing V2001 instead..much closer to home
and I don't believe they censored b*****y...perhaps If i say sodomy..I mean..their both English words dammit..not swearwords..its not as if I just a**e sex..or anal f*****g..I'm not sick you know

Sodomy non sapiens. That's latin you know. If you read Terry Pratchett then you'll know that it means "I'm buggered if I know". Any decent bands playing V2001 this year?

A few...some s**t ones as well (ie Sparklehorse, Coldplay, Toploader, Texas etc.) The highlight for me will be Grandaddy..whom I love. Also playing worth mentioning are the Chili Peppers, Muse, Avalanches, Charlatans, and the like (I haven't checked the line up in ages..so i can't remember most of them).
ANyway..for a first festival its probably a bit disappointing..but quite frankly I'm willing to pay the price of the ticket just to see Grandaddy..hell..I'd happily sell my soul and my right testicle to see grandaddy

The Grandaddy album's been on my 'To Get' list for ages. I once spent a very happy day jumping around a park in the sun to Summer Here Kids. I've just remembered that my friend Lindsay's going bcos she'd follow RHCP anywhere.
My first festival was Gig On The Green at Glasgow Green last year (part of the Reading/Leeds Carling Weekend) where the headliners were Oasis (although Primal Scream and the Foo Fighters were infinitely better). I also had a song dedicated to me by SoundBuggy. Unfortunately I was watching the Foos at the time *doh!*...
I'd do ANYTHING (Oliver! style) for King Adora. But my mother doesn't see it like that

Get both grandaddy albums 'Under the western freeway' (the one i assume you want as it has AM180 and Summer Here Kids on it..both very cool songs) and also the Sophtware slump..a concept album seemingly consisting mostly of eulogies to dead computers (cf Jed the Humanoid..the song I got my name from. A supercomputer/android who eventually turns to booze and eventual death after his owners/inventors/parents neglect him..could easily apply to a human family though..which i think is the point..but calling him a humanoid seems to accentuate the isolation and well..not fitting in many teenagers feel..but maybe I'm reading too much into it..also check out Beautiful ground (Jed's other poem) in which Jed seems to contemplate his own downfall...The first track is a belter too...He's simple he's dumb he's the pilot, an 8 minute opus (i think it uses a variant on the sonata structure actually..but don't quote me on that) that encompasses all the fear/anticipation/anxiety/etc as we enter a new millenium...every song is great..and you really should get the album..its also one of those ones (like the Badly Drawn boy album) where the album is better than the sum of its parts if that makes sense..as the songs merge together into one spectacular ballad of dead computers, their children..and their relationships with the humans who built and control them..but again..maybe I'm reading too much ito the whole thing...check out the grandaddy website ([URL removed by moderator](who needs urls..a big up yours to the moderators maybe) for the videos to Crystal lake and summer here kids..summer here kids is great for the fake hands playing the keyboard part..and also the double headed guitar of the guitarist...in fact just an acoustic and an electric tied together with duct tape..very cool...Crystal lake highlights are canoeing through the city..and a bear moshing in a flying shed....very grandaddy)

You really like them, don't you?

What kind of mobile phobe do you have? Cos you can get The Crystal Lake as a ringtone. I don't know how good it sounds tho cos I don't have a Nokia and haven't been able to persuade anyone else to try it.

You should be a music journo, you'd make a really good one. Join the 'Bring Back Melody Maker' league! My mate Krystal and I have decided that, if by the time we're about 25, MM hasn't been resurrected yet, then we're going to invest everything in it and do it ourselves. And of course we'll need extra writers .
And you should get into fanzine writing, cos then record companies send you loads of free stuff and promos. We got exclusive passes to the Basement Jaxx gig (including free flights and accomodation in London), and a copy of the Gorky's Zygotic Mynci album, which isn't out till September .

cooooooooll..i like the idea
lalala

Tell you what, you can do a review of the best bands at V2001 if you want and e-mail it to Claire ([email protected]) and we'll print it in the next issue (the big festival issue), cos I think V2001 is the only festival we don't actually have spies at so far.
Or go to the Broken Violin website address on my page (not a link, unfortunately). Seriously, we could make you a regular writer, cos you'd get to the gigs we can't make it to (we're kinda restricted to Glasgow and Edinburgh just now...). Any live reviews, articles or anything. Interviews. Want to interview Grandaddy?

I'd absolutely love to interview Grandaddy..if such a thing could be organised..I'll also do that V2001 thing (assuming I can remember much of it )
I'll tell you what...rather than go on the basis of one post i think you should a)look at my radiohead article..its my best online work
and b) read what i write and send to you soon...I'll do a gig review of Belle And Sebastian last friday at the Royal albert Hall....and maybe reviews of some of my extensive collection..and yeah..any free tickets (preferably two so i can take Amy or will..or more if poss) for gigs in the South East (espec London and Herts) would be much appreciated and would at least earn a review..i'll also pop by to the site (incidentally..as nobody seems to know...my name is Alex Allsworth..and I've always wanted to write..although fiction is generally my forte)..unfortunately financing my own gigs is harder.
I'll do you a list of my tastes..so you know what to expect too..oh..and if any thing..news or ticket wise..comes through about Underworld..wherever it is I WANT IT NOW DAMMIT

I 've already read your Radiohead thing and I think it's great. Anything written for the fanzine would be greatly appreciated by Claire, and I'll try and sort out a Grandaddy interview . No promises though, it's harder to get interviews at festivals. Do you know if they'll be touring soon?
Just tell us about any gigs or anything (preferably bands on Beggars Banquet Records or who use Hall Or Nothing PR company, cos they like us), and we'll try and sort something out. It's usually really easy to get on guest lists.
Oooh, I'm actually very excited now!

OKie day...can you tell me when the Big Festival issue is gonna come up
I completely forgot to do a review of V2001 until now..and its now 4AM..so I'd better leave it until the morning. As i expected Grandaddy were amazing...although i had to elect to miss RHCP because they were on the main arena (which would have been packed..leaving me miles away from the band) because i had managed to get right up front for Grandaddy..which left me right up front for Ian Brown..who headlined the third stage (the best one on the Sunday)...he was amazing..as is to be expected from the legend himself. Anyway..you'll get a much more detailed synopsis of the thing once I've done this review tommorow morning....if you read this in time..can i also ask whether you want me to review the whole weekend..or just a few of the best bands..or a combination of the two...I'll do a combination of both in such a way that i can easily take them apart into either of those options if you want it a certain way...or i might just do whatever seems to run better. It shouldn't take long to make it whatever you want anyway..so don't worry about that...as long as i haven't missed the festival that's fine.
(oh...also..the only details I'll be able to give you firmly about what songs were played by whom is Grandaddy, from whom I stole a set list..woohoo)

Ooooooooh!

I was at Gig on The Green, and it was fab! Especially King Adora, The Strokes and Green Day...

Claire is still in Germany, somehow managing to get to interview all these bands on German TV. She'll be coming back before uni starts, so my guess is the festival issue should be out round about October.

Do whatever you want about whole weekend/best bands thing, but I think maybe you should only do the best bands of the weekend.And if you have a scanner, try and scan Grandaddy's setlist and send that as well. We like that sort of thing.

Did she e-mail you back at all? Cos she's not really the most organised of people.