This is the Message Centre for Jed the Humanoid -Keeper of things lost down the back of the sofa-also the Chief Mad Drunken Warrior of the Anti Squirrel League
where did all the monkeys go?
Sick Bob. (Most recent incarnation of the Dark Lord Cyclops. Still lord and master of the Anti Squirrel League and Keeper of c Posted May 3, 2001
I'm in on a computer in my University biology building, currently not being in a chemistry problem session.
Schivers unite! (I can't spell)
I'm watching the squirrels running past the window with fear. Mainly because I'm on the ninth floor.
I'm sending for backup, send backup now! Aw thank god. Randolf is here and the garrish jumper fluff has saved me again.
A dressing gown you say. All you need now is a plastic lightsaber and you could put Jedi on your census form.
Woopedeehoo!
where did all the monkeys go?
Jed the Humanoid -Keeper of things lost down the back of the sofa-also the Chief Mad Drunken Warrior of the Anti Squirrel League Posted May 3, 2001
Do you think i really needed a light sabre to put JEdi on my census for...I always thought the midichlorians would be enough justification...and that old bearded man who keeps on following me around saying 'The force is strong with this one' and I'm not even going to mention that damn green midget with big ears and poor syntax.
Hmm...hungry are you, Not eating leads to hunger, hunger leads to starvation, starvation leads to suffering....that is the way of the lunch side
where did all the monkeys go?
Sick Bob. (Most recent incarnation of the Dark Lord Cyclops. Still lord and master of the Anti Squirrel League and Keeper of c Posted May 3, 2001
Do you watch the Adam and Joe show.
I remember in series one (far better than the current series) every week they would spoof a tv program using star wars figures. (the films with soft toys were more popular but the star wars stuff was my favourite)
Last night they had "Big Jabba" a reality tv program hosted by Darthvader McCall. It was truly inspired. The best part was the critics watching the show and Yoda saying "Strong is the attraction of the banal side, once you have walked down the crap tv road, forrever will it dominate your saturday night."
Other highlights were Lando feeding a wamprat called Marjory. Evil Emp getting cought smuggling in an R2 unit and showing other people hollograms (I have a vision of the future, Leia will be next out)
Also, Wicket (with a scouse accent) winning and gving all his money to Darth Maul to have his legs reattached and Luke (with northern irish accent) ahem, "lighting his lightsaber" while giving Leia a backrub.
Classic cheap humour. What would tv be like without it.
PS. I hate the midichlorian crap. Episode one was annoying (exept the pod race and big fight scene)
where did all the monkeys go?
Jed the Humanoid -Keeper of things lost down the back of the sofa-also the Chief Mad Drunken Warrior of the Anti Squirrel League Posted May 3, 2001
Indeed Episode One was crap. But the Midichlorian stuff is from the books as well (which I haven't actually read many of...apart from Tales of Jabba's palace, which is cool because its like the stories of all of the bit parts in the Jabba bit Of Jedi, telling their own sides of the story...and all the other stuff going on while Solo was being broken free etc).
Anyway, I did watch Adam and Joe last night, and that episode had me in stitches (I like the 200% with the computer going slowly insane) for a large portion of it. Adam and Joe are quite possibly comical geniuses..at least I think so.
where did all the monkeys go?
Sick Bob. (Most recent incarnation of the Dark Lord Cyclops. Still lord and master of the Anti Squirrel League and Keeper of c Posted May 3, 2001
Did you see their spoofs of Fight Club and American Beuaty.
Some of their best work.
"Damn these visual metaphors, I can't see anything"
The dancing Bag.
"Wait a minute! Your Brad Pitt! you are a famous film star. Get him!"
"Did you know that if you type 58008 into a calculator and turn it upside down it spells boobs"
absolute genius. If you like the films it's hysterical, "Toyspotting," and "Se7en Dwarfs" from series one were also classics. Is it just my imagination or didn't it used to be called the Ad and Joe show (as on the t-shirts)
For some reason I find it funnier when they make fun of something I like. Their spoof of Zane from Brand:New is quite good too.
Anyway I have to go now my giraffe is on fire. See ya later!
Bob
where did all the monkeys go?
simply scruff singing a rainbow Posted May 3, 2001
i suddenly feel left out *sniff* not only am i the only female here (i think or have i got it horribly wrong? that would be rather emabarssing) i also have no idea what you are talking about *sob* aaaaaaaand i seem to have missed out on the long distance hugging session! i love you too y'know! me and the dragons!!!! *sob*
where did all the monkeys go?
Sick Bob. (Most recent incarnation of the Dark Lord Cyclops. Still lord and master of the Anti Squirrel League and Keeper of c Posted May 3, 2001
Awwww! positivefreak.
You know I love you
No hugs, then have an imaginary kiss that was fun.
You are all members of the Bob family now. You can come to my house and we will plot to take over the world.
Do not be upset about being the only girl. (I think, no offence if I'm worng - I meant wrong but worng is such a good work I think I'll leave it there) I'd love to be the only male in a conversation. it would increase my chances of flirting with all the other researchers (since no-one does once they really know me...oh come on I gave you sympathy)
Don't worry about not understanding the conversation. We were talking about the Adam and Joe show, no-one understands it. Watch it on Wednesday nights on channel 4, also E4 (but I don't know the times)
If you read a few postings back you'll get the jist. Anyway we probably should have a change of subject to be fair.
Since you've felt left out you can decide.
1) Return to the monkey butlers
2) The Bob family - the most feared cult in history.
3) What does "Worng" mean anyway?
Love, Bob.
where did all the monkeys go?
simply scruff singing a rainbow Posted May 4, 2001
aww i would still love you if i really knew you
oh oh! i get to choose wow! hmmmmm i think i'll go for number 2 please Bob 'The Bob family- the most feared cult in hitory'
I would watch that thing that nobody gets but I don't get channel four!!! i get stupid, evil, horrible (and welsh *shudder*) s4c!!!1 NOOOOOOOOOO. y'know i think s4c are in league with the squirrels. i shall investigate further.
(oh and worng - kinda sounds like a worm on a pogo stick doncha think, or is that just me?)
peace out
Terri aka positivefreak aka scruff
where did all the monkeys go?
Sick Bob. (Most recent incarnation of the Dark Lord Cyclops. Still lord and master of the Anti Squirrel League and Keeper of c Posted May 4, 2001
Can I call you scruff from now on? It's kinda cute. Oh go on, you know you want to...
The Bob family, well it is what we make it. I just called it that temporarily after the Manson "Family." I've been considering starting a cult for a while. Through my psyc course i've learned many ways to manipulate people into doing what I want... (eg. Saying "Oh go on, you know you want to... told you it works)
Could you lot help me start it off. (you'll have to worship me undyingly but once we have seduced in others I'll make you all High Priests who the others will worship undyingly.) Go on, you know you want to...
I was thinking about calling the religion Jasonianism after the name on my birth certificate.
I considered making the number 23 a prophet so that if the members see a number 23 they must bow before it, even if it's on a door, a sign, a car registration etc. (lots of fun!)
I guess this is how I got the name SICK Bob.
Go on...touch it...you know you want to....
where did all the monkeys go?
simply scruff singing a rainbow Posted May 4, 2001
me???? cute???? wow that's not a name normally associated with me. oh go on then call me scruff if you must. (god dammit the brain washing by that mystical sentance 'go on you know u want to' hasn't worn off yet)
ha ha yes making people bow down to the no. 23 does sound fun and hysterically funny (almost as funny as skodas but not quite) by the way i don't think i'd like to be a high priest as i wouldn't be able to flirt with all the other high priests as it would be waaaaaay to weird. now if i were made a high priestess, now that would be a totally different story
love and long distance hugs to all the bob family.
peace out
scruff formaly known as terri
where did all the monkeys go?
Jed the Humanoid -Keeper of things lost down the back of the sofa-also the Chief Mad Drunken Warrior of the Anti Squirrel League Posted May 5, 2001
DON'T HUG THEM....YOU'LL GET ANTHRAX
or maybe Def Leppard...or Iron Maiden, I don't know...i can't tell one from the other to be honest (this is a lie).
And if you get Def Leppard then thats just really harsh, as you'll end up getting beaten up by a one armed man with REALLY strong arm muscles.
Pardon me...i just burped twice in quick succession...machine gun stylee maybe.
Anyway, today I became an Uncle, my sister had a wee babby Eloise, I also have a kind of date thing going on tonight but shhh..its a secret
Love you people
Byes
where did all the monkeys go?
simply scruff singing a rainbow Posted May 6, 2001
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww and awwwwwwww again. explanation :
1st awwwwwwwww coz of the lil baby!
2nd awwwwwwwww because of the secret date thing that i am keeping veeeeery quiet about (u would be proud of me, quiet is not normally a word in my vocabulary) look watch me be quiet.........
woooooooooooooooooow!!!!! man i'm good!
love u all
peace out
Terri i mean scruff i mean ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!
where did all the monkeys go?
Jed the Humanoid -Keeper of things lost down the back of the sofa-also the Chief Mad Drunken Warrior of the Anti Squirrel League Posted May 6, 2001
I think the date was a complete success by the way, I mean, there was no wild and passionate lovemaking, in fact there was very little canoodling full stop. But I think we've both decided we really really like each other...I was going to kiss her good night, but we were in her mums car, and i felt a wee bit self conscious (i'm not even remotely scottish...why do I keep on saying wee). Anyway, we watched a movie (the mexican, quite entertaining really) and we spent the whole time slowly inching towards each other until we were practically leaning on each other. The most important thing is that she's one of the nicest girls I've ever met, and she really is quite attractive...and apparently she like me ...woohoo. Anyway, hopefully she doesn't come here and read this..cause i think she has used h2g2 occasionally (in fact it was her who told me to pay a visit here ages ago). I don't know what she'll think of me describing our slowly blossoming relationship online for all to see. But then...i have only been nice about her, which is what she deserves...she's great, and I'm really starting to get happy for the first time in ages.
Which is great.
where did all the monkeys go?
Sick Bob. (Most recent incarnation of the Dark Lord Cyclops. Still lord and master of the Anti Squirrel League and Keeper of c Posted May 6, 2001
Hello my glorious people. (literally, I hope I have that effect on you all)
I hope you are all well. Some messages if you please.
To scruff, (hehe I love that name,) You can be a high priestess. You are the high priestess of flirting with the other priests. You can even flirt with me! (but only under extreme circumstances since I am GOD, of course.) You are doing a fine job of being quiet there. That is a skill we will no doubt need when fighting the squirrels.
To Jed, I don't have Anthrax. I considered getting Led Zep though. You can say "wee" as much as you want. The world should be more scottish. I say it all the time. Oh wait I am scottish. aaaaghh!
I'm glad your date went well. It's always good to see. I only hope that my life improves likewise.
About her mother though... Don't be afraid to get off in front of her. She might join in...
Or maybe that only happens to me?
They don't call me SICK Bob for nothing.
I'm still pleased that I got post no.69
Go on, you know you want to...
where did all the monkeys go?
simply scruff singing a rainbow Posted May 6, 2001
to sick bob aka GOD:
WHAT!!! only flirt in extreme circumastances? awww maaaaaaaaan that is soooo unfair but then i can't sulk now as i am a high priestess. High priestess scruff, that's me. anyway i want a name for you since u get to call me scruff..........hmmmmmmmmm. i will think about it.
to Jed:
well i'm gonna say it again: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. so glad your date went well, i love seeing people happy not that i can techinacally see you but if i could see u, u would be happy and i would love it. YEAH!
love u both as much as penguins
peace out
scruff
where did all the monkeys go?
Sick Bob. (Most recent incarnation of the Dark Lord Cyclops. Still lord and master of the Anti Squirrel League and Keeper of c Posted May 8, 2001
Your Bobness has returned!!!!! (trumpet fanfare!)
I like penguins. No I mean I REALLY like penguins.
to scruuuufffff (since you seeem to like using lots of letttterrrsssss): As I am GOD, flirting with me would be considered very dangerous. That is why only in extreme circumstances. However these circumstances could include, squirrel invasion(current), loss of dragon (current), being unable to resist my fabulous glory (current) or just being really really really bored (Are you?)
I mean wooooowwww! Yeeeaaah maaaaaaaaaaan!
Groooovy.
where did all the monkeys go?
simply scruff singing a rainbow Posted May 8, 2001
Are you taking the mickey out of my chronic 'using too many letters disease'? I am upset. and I would NEVER (let's have that again- NEVER) intentionally use the word groovy except whilst telling people i would never use it. so there. I am going to go into my corner now and be upset until somebody pays attention to me.
sad scruff.
where did all the monkeys go?
Sick Bob. (Most recent incarnation of the Dark Lord Cyclops. Still lord and master of the Anti Squirrel League and Keeper of c Posted May 8, 2001
Sowwy
I'm so used to being SICK to people I don't like, that I forget not to make fun of people I do like. Anyway I was more paying tribute than removing the michael.
And what's wrong with the word "groovy" (esp with extra o's)
Don't be sad. For four reasons:
1) You have no reason to be sad
2) I want you to be happy
3) It's too nice a day to be sad
4) Your in MY BLDY CORNER!!!!
Sowwy.
Bob.
where did all the monkeys go?
simply scruff singing a rainbow Posted May 8, 2001
oh. right. *removes herself from Bob's corner and begins trudging towards the other corner, gets half way there, actually interprates what has just been said and proceeds to do a freaky/happy little dance*
That's o.k then so we're all happy. Jed are you happy? And notice i haven't made any words longer. Aren't u proud of me???? I'm proud of me
*continues to the other corner and sits being happy*
smiling scruff.
where did all the monkeys go?
Sick Bob. (Most recent incarnation of the Dark Lord Cyclops. Still lord and master of the Anti Squirrel League and Keeper of c Posted May 10, 2001
Key: Complain about this post
where did all the monkeys go?
- 61: Sick Bob. (Most recent incarnation of the Dark Lord Cyclops. Still lord and master of the Anti Squirrel League and Keeper of c (May 3, 2001)
- 62: Jed the Humanoid -Keeper of things lost down the back of the sofa-also the Chief Mad Drunken Warrior of the Anti Squirrel League (May 3, 2001)
- 63: Sick Bob. (Most recent incarnation of the Dark Lord Cyclops. Still lord and master of the Anti Squirrel League and Keeper of c (May 3, 2001)
- 64: Jed the Humanoid -Keeper of things lost down the back of the sofa-also the Chief Mad Drunken Warrior of the Anti Squirrel League (May 3, 2001)
- 65: Sick Bob. (Most recent incarnation of the Dark Lord Cyclops. Still lord and master of the Anti Squirrel League and Keeper of c (May 3, 2001)
- 66: simply scruff singing a rainbow (May 3, 2001)
- 67: Sick Bob. (Most recent incarnation of the Dark Lord Cyclops. Still lord and master of the Anti Squirrel League and Keeper of c (May 3, 2001)
- 68: simply scruff singing a rainbow (May 4, 2001)
- 69: Sick Bob. (Most recent incarnation of the Dark Lord Cyclops. Still lord and master of the Anti Squirrel League and Keeper of c (May 4, 2001)
- 70: simply scruff singing a rainbow (May 4, 2001)
- 71: Jed the Humanoid -Keeper of things lost down the back of the sofa-also the Chief Mad Drunken Warrior of the Anti Squirrel League (May 5, 2001)
- 72: simply scruff singing a rainbow (May 6, 2001)
- 73: Jed the Humanoid -Keeper of things lost down the back of the sofa-also the Chief Mad Drunken Warrior of the Anti Squirrel League (May 6, 2001)
- 74: Sick Bob. (Most recent incarnation of the Dark Lord Cyclops. Still lord and master of the Anti Squirrel League and Keeper of c (May 6, 2001)
- 75: simply scruff singing a rainbow (May 6, 2001)
- 76: Sick Bob. (Most recent incarnation of the Dark Lord Cyclops. Still lord and master of the Anti Squirrel League and Keeper of c (May 8, 2001)
- 77: simply scruff singing a rainbow (May 8, 2001)
- 78: Sick Bob. (Most recent incarnation of the Dark Lord Cyclops. Still lord and master of the Anti Squirrel League and Keeper of c (May 8, 2001)
- 79: simply scruff singing a rainbow (May 8, 2001)
- 80: Sick Bob. (Most recent incarnation of the Dark Lord Cyclops. Still lord and master of the Anti Squirrel League and Keeper of c (May 10, 2001)
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