h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

How are ya JEllen, did you have a good new year? I had the usual round of pub-crawling, and the inevitable anti-climax - but that's a tradition I adhere to every year, whether I want to or not.

I got a peek at the trailer for Episode II though... it looks really good! Gabriel Byrne and Christopher Walken are in it - I think this might turn out to be as good, if not better than Empire. Sorry if I seem a little too optimistic, but that's just the kinda guy I am...

I had a quiet New Year, but it was nice. Went out to the Labyrinth, and went out to eat. Spent the countdown with my friend Sandie online.

I've signed on to an online DVD rental service, and like a kid I'm excited about it. There's just something neat about getting stuff in the mail. Now I won't have to go out in the cold to return discs, and there are no late fees, which is nice. Listen to me, I sound like an ad for the place.

It's raining tonight, which means my kitty cat doesn't want to go out, which means that she is stir crazy inside. And she wants me to feed her every 30 minutes. I think she is part pig. But I love her.

I have signed up for a free online class about Lord of the Rings. I'm very excited about it, but rather nervous too. I hope I can keep up with the reading, and figure out all the mechanics of the class. I read The Hobbit years ago, now's my chance to reread it. I've only read snippets of the Rings books.

I'm currently working on the entire Lord of the Rings! I did read it in the past, many years ago, and it's great to read it again!

I don't have high hopes for Attack of the Clones, but hopefully I will be wrong and it will be good. I like Gabriel Byrne quite a bit. He was wonderful in Miller's Crossing. I have a hard time imagining him in a Star Wars film. I have a pet theory that a lot of the magic of the original Star Wars and Empire came from the scriptwriter Leigh Brackett. But she died during the making of Empire. Is it just coincidence that the other films were not as good without her?

That's cool Willem that we're both reading Rings.

Hey Chris, how are you doing? Ellen

Yes, Chris, I'd like to know too!

Thanks guys. I'm okay at the moment, though I've had a real dose of post-holiday ennui to drag myself out of (I'm still trying), and bad memories of last year when my dad passed on. Anniversary season's over for me now though, so I'm looking ahead.

How are you feeling now, Will? Please let us know *here and elsewhere* if ever you feel even slightly unsafe or suicidal. You're precious to a lot of people, in a lot of timezones, and there'll always be someone around to turn to. We'll try to be more aware of the warning signs.

What about you Ellen, Shee? How are you guys now? I think we should have some sort of weekly emotional check-in policy here, what do you think?

Love and s for Willem, Ellen and Shee

Chris

Like I said elsewhere, here on h2g2: I am still feeling quite down. I'm trying to appear upbeat though. I have more courage and energy so I'm willing to fight on. I've seen my mind doc and I know now a bit better what was the problem. I still *have* a problem with my medication and my habits that I have to sort out, but I'm gonna sort it out.

Chris, I want to thank you for calling! I wish I could have spoken to you, but I was in bed and my parents thought I was asleep and anyways unable to talk since my meds knock me out. Thank you also for giving my phonenumber to LeKZ! They *insisted* that my mum go and get me and though I was in no condition, I did speak to them and it helped immensely! I could *hear* how concerned they were, and how much they love me. I also got a chance to speak to their kidz, who spoke baby-French and who kept trying to all speak together! LeKZ also spoke to my dad a bit. ON their insistence my parents took me to my psychiatrist, though he was unavailable on Wednesday - I only got to see him late Thursday afternoon, but that helped a lot, and after that I had a very long talk with my parents, and we understand each other a lot better now.

*relieved*

Will, please promise us that you won't even *try* to appear upbeat if you really don't *feel* like trying. "Positive Mental Attitude" only ever works if you're in a stable enough condition physically, emotionally, socially and economically to find it within yourself, and rarely works for the likes of us without medication.

If people are going to accept depression et al as physical conditions and support sufferers, then they're going to have to get used to seeing what it's like; your posting, and the rush of energy aroud the world to come to your aid are testament to the fact that people *are* understanding, and getting involved. I think we can gauge it in you from the quantity of exclamations... but that's far from sufficient mate, we need the info!!!

I hope you're feeling better soon, but none of us can or should expect it, nor expect you to put a brave face on it. I'm going to relate something a bit grim here, so please skip it if you need to.


I went through the worst summer of my life this past year, after the pain of dad's death really hit home, and I never felt so alone. I put on a brave face for months, thinking I could fight it, and kept fighting; I stocked up on St. John's Wort and Kava Kava, exercised a lot, ate plenty of carbohydrates, did volunteer work, looked for paid work, made music, and generally kept myself as busy as I could. My communication on hootoo gave nothing away, except my userspace which stood completely empty, save a while when it just said;

"Sick of this condition. Sick of this country. Sick of this site.
But otherwise fine "

But fighting it was really no use, I got more depressed than I'd ever been, and ended up in hospital after I took an overdose of a/ds and alcohol at the end of August. I'd felt suicidal for many years, but always went for medical help first and never really tried it, until then. I got additional treatment afterwards and started slowly to feel better, but the one thing I learned from that was stiff-upper lip DOES NOT WORK and never has. The only thing that got me out of it this time was enduring the most agonising few days of my life in front of the medics and telling the truth to my friends.


You have carte blanche (within the constraints of the T&C ) to say whatever you need to say here and anywhere else, *however nasty*, because you do *need* to say it for your own safety. You don't need to put flowers round it, or "wait and we'll see" either - that's a promise. I hope this thread will stand as somewhere that's a given, because we've all been brought up to think first and feel second, and it's time that was reversed.

Sorry if this seems like patronage and soapboxing, but I need to know this as much as you sometimes... I will if you will, Will.

Chris, hoping I can practice what I preach, despite being British, and a man

*and applauds*

I'm actually looking foward to the Spring this year guys. I'm not feeling triggery about it at all. For the first time since '93. That's something to celebrate. I'm looking foward to being able to take long walks and enjoy the warmer weather. Oh yes, and I'm looking foward to Gangs of New York in the Spring too.

I just finished The Hobbit, and will soon be starting on Fellowship. One down, three to go.

Hiya Chris ... what can I say, I agree with you, but still I don't want to alarm people, and it's extremely difficult to talk about the worst things... and right now I am still feeling very wasted, emotionally, and I don't have the energy to write the really long response which your posting merits ...

Hi Will - you don't have to respond to that at all, it's just a rant really

Take your time and write the worst to me if you really need to. I'll be too busy grabbing your FriendZ and trying to call you up to be alarmed by *anything* you have to say.

Love

Chris

Hey Ellen! Thanks for your latest work of art ... sorry I haven't responded to that yet, but I like it and would love to see more!

In my reading, I'm now almost finished with the Fellowship of the Ring part of Lord of the Rings.

Chris, how are *you* doing? Anything I can help with?

Love, to both of ya,

Willem

Glad to hear from you Willem, and glad to hear you liked the artwork.

Can I see?

Sure, I've sent them to you.

Hey Chris ... I'm sending you a *long* email tonight or tomorrow, OK?

And Ellen, how about some more art?