h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Tea and biscuits!

Hi Shee - welcome! It's cool here, stick around! I'm learning a lot from these guys.

Hi Ellen - yeah, Mystery Train is a bit of a mystery to get hold of, but I do hope you do, I get the impression you'll enjoy it. Screamin' is just, well - a scream.

oh Will.

I hope you're going to be strong this Christmas. I hate the sound of this Christian Fundamentalist ethos. It doesn't sound very Christian to me. Just remember, we'll be there at the other end. I'll get those photos to you tonight.

I never really thought about the notion of triggers in film before. I've always had a bad vibe watching Empire Strikes Back - still one of my favourite movies though but then I saw Nil By Mouth which was an absolute bloody nightmare.

But I think the fantasy element, even of films based on truth can be a catharsis. It's strange but I've seen some pretty excruciating horror movies and never could handle gore, yet I watch people on movies endure real terror, and find it steels me for real life. Do you know what I mean?

If you want to be really moved though, and haven't already, go see Dancer In The Dark, starring Bjork. very bleak, very sad, but one of the most beautiful films I've ever seen. I've got the soundtrack and it moves me to tears.

Then something genuinely feelgood, like Shine will ace it every time.

Have a very Merry Christmas, Ellen, Will and Shee!

Hi Chris... Never seen you anywhere around before, so it's nice to meet someone new.

Happy Christmas to ya'll again, too!


Willem--I'm not even quite sure... It is good for your iron count and I think it revitalizes your body and stuff like that too... I know I've gotten all the propaganda for that, but thankfully they concentrate more on the "it helps others" bit. It makes me feel better about our society, even if it means I'm not too clear on the health benefits... Again, if you could find the American Red Cross page or something like that, it would probably say... I'm sorry I'm not very helpful today...

Hey Shee! Chris is the only person from h2g2 whom I've met in real life, so far!

And very glad to have had the opportunity, Will.

Merry Chrimbo all

Hey Shee, hey Chris, hey Ellen! Well, I can say I've had a peaceful and happy Christmasday, up til now! And the rest of you?

It's been nice Willem. We had a party yesterday with lots of yummy food, and we're having another party today. I get to watch my Yellow Submarine DVD tonight. And I've been spending some quality time with my cat. She's so soft and snuggly.

Unfortunately, two of our cats are un-cuddleable right now ... my dad's dosed them with flea poison! The only remaining cuddleable cat is Poplap ... but she's the cuddliest of them all, thankfully!

Today I've been at home here with my folks. I talked to my sister over the phone, and it was a good talk ... no arguing. I walked around in the yard a bit ... all our plants are growing magnificently ... I watered some of them, did a bit of training in the yard and caught some sun, and later I read 'The Hobbit' a bit, and talked to my parents, and we watched a documentary on TV - 'Supercroc', about Sarcosuchus, which was an ancient giant crocodile that apparently ate dinosaurs! Was interesting! And I spent some time online, which I'm still busy with!

Yesterday we had a very good day as well. We visited our friends, the preacher of my parents' church and his family. Two boys, two girls ... I am fairly good friends with all of them, especially the boys. They are OK, not extreme at all, we get along fine. They have paintings of mine ... between them, four paintings of eagles! I have good photos of only one ... I'll put it on my site before too long. Anyways, it was a pleasant evening, and we had a good dinner! I'm not eating much cake and sweets this Christmas ... I am on a bodybuilding regimen that I started when I came back from Denmar, to get me back in good shape and good health, so I watch my diet very closely all the time. I like the discipline! I am a bit miffed that I can't go to the gym over these few days! But everything will be back to normal on 2 January. I'll be back at the painting and at the training!

I saw the movie A Beautiful Mind today and came to two conclusions, 1) It's a brilliant movie, the best I've seen about mental illness, and 2)It was devastating to watch. I almost left a couple times, the movie was like one long horrific PTSD trigger. When it was over, the first words out of my friend's mouth were "Are you ok?" I think it shows how far I've come, that I could watch it. By the way, the music was great, by James Horner.

Sounds like it took some guts to watch Ellen . Can you tell us a bit more about it, who's in it etc? I'll have a look om imdb to see if it's there. I've heard An Unquiet Mind is going to be made into a movie - can you substantiate that?

The Christmas Season is always synonymous with moody storylines on TV Soaps in the U.K. - the soap mortality rate doubles at this time of year. There's a domestic abuse story in Eastenders at the moment which has been quite graphic and triggery to watch, but I'm glad it's been done the way it has, as it's shown very well the Jekyll/Hyde aspect of abusive relationships - half the time he's very nice to her, but we get to see the other side. I think this will be good as it shows people how things like this get hidden in RL and things aren't always as they seem. Still it's horrifying to watch.

Wow Chris, you really have your ear to the ground. I had no idea they were thinking about making Unquiet Mind into a movie. But I looked it up, and actress Annette Bening has bought the film rights to it. I hope it really gets made! Wouldn't that be great? I can see why shows dealing with abuse would be triggery for you.

Chris and Willem and Shee, I have added an email address to my page, in case you ever need to contact me.

Beautiful Mind is based loosely on the life of brilliant mathematician John Nash Jr., who won the Nobel Prize, and who suffers from paranoia. I don't want to give too much away, cause the movie has some really surprising twists. I'm surprised that the movie didn't get an R rating, cause the hospital scenes are brutally graphic. It will be interesting to see if actor Russell Crowe who plays Nash will get another Oscar. I think he's already nominated for a Golden Globe.

I may be able to watch A Beautiful Mind ... it's about a guy with paranoid schizophrenia, which is what I have, so at least it is something familiar with which I can deal with in a way ... er, at the moment at least. I'm now in the official website for the film. There are mind-exercises there that I might try out. Some of those might constitute triggers ... I am obsessive-compulsive about trying to decipher mental challenges. If a challenge stumps me for too long I may become very unhappy and frustrated and start focusing on it to the exclusion of everything else, even neglecting my health and personal hygiene. Okay ... you know, this helps. When I *know* what kind of triggering I might be prone to, I can brace myself against it. So now I'm resolving not too fuss too much about those mind-challenges.

That sort of obessive-compulsiveness can be very, very destructive. I have known it, and I don't ever want to be trapped in it again. I want balance, health, longevity... and peace. Inner peace, outer peace. Happiness ... long-lasting happiness.

Then there's the psychotic aspect ... Paranoid schizophrenia, at its worst, is really horrifyingly bad. I never, ever, ever want anyone to know what (in full detail, with the sense of 'what it is like') is going on inside my mind when I'm at my worst ... it is totally devastating.

Then there's the aspect of violent conflict ... people who think differently from others often come into conflict with others, and usually they themselves suffer the worst of it. I expect there will be such conflict in the movie also ... and friction, and tension; strained relationships. That can also be nightmarishly bad. I've known that, too, and still experience some very awful aspects of it.

Another aspect is the 'nothing fails like success' angle. This fella was, according to the movie, ultimately successful and changed the world. But, I ask ... for the better? The work he did was in mathematics ... he established a base for the 'Game Theory' of economics. My question ... is that theory really the best we can come up with? I am currently very critical of economic theory. I feel our theories are long past their due date by now. We are continuing to rely on old theories that are growing increasingly out of touch with realities. Because of that, our world is heading towards a catastrophic breakdown. I am foreseeing the hideousness that awaits our children and grandchildren, because of the mistakes that *we* made. So there is a direct paranoia trigger, plus a psychosis trigger. How can one person be right, and everybody else wrong? That is a matter not to be decided just now. *Triggers known and identified. Remain alert*.

Adequately prepared, I think I'll be able to make it through the movie.

There's currently an advertisement on TV that gives me the creeping horrors ... it's against child abuse. It details the abuse that leads to the death of a little girl, illustrated with kiddie-style crayon illustrations culminating in people standing by a grave. Child abuse is just so atrociously abominably bad ... I can't stand it, it is something that needs to be ended completely, it must not be in this world any longer, we must do something to put a stop to it, I can't stand living in a world in which it happens.

Just take care if you see Beautiful Mind, Willem. It's a worthy movie, but if it starts to bother you, just leave. Of course your triggers may be different than mine, so it may not get to you as much as it did me. It might help to see it with a friend, someone to sort of ground you, and to talk with you about it afterward.

I have fairly weird triggers, because it's not just PTS that can get triggered, there's also paranoid schizophrenic psychosis that can get triggered. Also, my PTS differs from that of most people, because my psychoses have caused many of the traumas that I'm triggered into reliving by some PTSD-style triggers, so the two kinds are rather mixed up. But anyways, my own traumas include some physical and psychological abuse as a kid (not my parents, but teachers and preachers) but also health crises ... almost died on a number of occasions before the age of five, and later fell ill during almost every year ... in fact most years I got ill at least three times. That only ended *very* recently, when I became a vegetarian. The food I ate for the majority of my life never accorded with me, and I found that out only about now! Now I *don't* get ill any more ... no more colds and flus! I can hardly believe it ... not once this past year! I feel like a whole new me ... but anyways, poor health caused me a *huge* amount of misery for over a quarter of a century, so I have PTS and triggers related to *that*, aplenty. Then I have the triggers related to the psychoses ... they are a rather weird bunch.

Anyways, Ellen, thanks for warning me ... I'm not sure if that movie will even show down here, since our local theatre only shows really popular movies ... tripe, most of the time. But LOTR was OK!

And thanks but of course I already have your email address! Thanks again for the card! Was cute!

It's a good think you worked out a diet that works for you Willem. My triggers can be kind of weird too. I really liked Rings, I'll probably go see it again.

Hi! My dad bought us the complete 'Lord of the Rings', and I'm busy reading that now! It's great to read it again ... I can still remember lots of it though. I notice on reading it again that there's quite a large amount of stuff they left out in the movie ... I'm quite impressed with the book now because of its richness!

Anyways, was your Christmastime OK, Ellen?

Chris, you still keeping well?

Do you all feel your prospects for the new year look good?

I'm cautiously optimistic about 2002... It can't be any worse than '01, that's for damn sure. The last real hurdle is 8th Jan, a year since I heard my dad died, and the 18th his funeral. It's weird but I really feel like I'll be past it then, and can look ahead -fortunately I'm going to a depression/anxiety group for the first time on the 8th, which could help a lot.

By the way, I've thought of another obscure movie you might want to check out called Static. It was a mini-budget movie made in '85, about a guy who lost his parents in a car accident; suffered terribly for it and convinced himself he could invent a TV to tune into Heaven. I kinda relate to that guy on a weird level now - It's a good thing I saw it so long ago or I might have tried something similarly bizarre! I spent a while at Uni trying to find something in pi

The great thing about the movie is the central character reflects his environment. All the supposedly "sane" people around him were being demonstrably stockpiling NBC suits etc; him just trying to share something beautiful he believed in.

It's very funny, but has its tragic side. It's probably one of my favourite movies - real difficult to find anywhere; I had to bribe a guy at a Movie Fair to send me a copy, which he graciously did. You might get lucky and catch it somewhere similar, but it's got a thick layer of dust on it, in movie buff's terms.

Can you relate to frantic searching for answers? That's always been a big thing for me (I blame Douglas ) I met someone with MD who told me of a time when she listened to her washing machine for hours thinking it was singing to her.

Wow, I've really gone for it here Happy New Year all!

That's amusing and rather cool, about the "singing" washing machines.

I've never seen Static, and my video store probably doesn't have it, cause their selection is really poor. In fact, I justed sign on for an online DVD rental service and I'm rather excited about it. There's a flat fee, but I watch a lot of movies, so it will be a good deal for me. (But they don't have Static either.) Speaking of communicating with Heaven via television, do you ever watch Crossing Over with John Edwards? I am so hooked on that show. (He's a meduim, if you haven't seen him.) He seems to be a very nice guy, with a good sense of humor.

I have some trepidation about 2002, wondering if there will be more terrorist attacks, and things like that. But I can't spend all my time worrying, so I'll try to have fun anyway. For New Year's I am going out to Saint George's Labyrinth. (I have a Journal entry about the Labyrinth under more entries.) It's a neat thing. Then I'm going out to eat with a friend of mine. And last but not least, I plan to watch Hudsucker Proxy, because it is set on New Year's Eve, and it's hilarious. Have you guys seen it? Happy New Year all!

Cheers!

I plead guilty to also searching for answers. I search for them, though, mainly in science, and in what I consider to be balanced, sincere spirituality ... no weird new-age stuff, but people just trying to deepen the meaning in their lives, ponder what it is that makes existence special, and relating more intimately to their inner selves, other people and other creatures. I search for meaning in the world of nature as well. What I can tell is that the other species of the world don't seem to have the worries we humans have ... even when they have to die, they take it fairly well. They sometimes fight, but never merely for the sake of fighting ... they're not so obsessive about things as we are. And I pray as well, trying to talk to God, asking questions, trying to reach a state of higher awareness in which I can understand things I can't understand right now. I think I've had some successes with that. I also have tried contacting people who were dead ... I've met some of them in dreams, so it could be a purely subjective experience, but still, it has been very reassuring. I also know a friend who's on the verge of dying, and she says that she has seen many spirits of dead people, and is totally unafraid of dying.

Back to the mundane world ... yes, I've seen the Hudsucker proxy twice, it is indeed a funny film!

I'll tell both of ya Happy New Year when it's time!

Willem