h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I can't wait!!
::drum rolls, dramatically...::

*Commentator*

.... we bring you live to our telecast from the Red Dog fan Club`s unveiling of the Rambling commenorative statue here at posting No 42, surely a good omen for the occasion.

We have representatives here today from all over h2g2, the largest body by far being the splendidly turned out Anti-Cat Federation forces in their dress uniforms and none more splendid than the honour guard who have just given a 21 Boo salute to the memory of Rambling.

Red Dog is now on the podium giving his address to the crowd.

*ahem*

we`re gathered here today to honour a valiant comrade who fell in aerial combat ..... although it did occur in comic rather than tragic circumstances.

We had a whip round amongst the chaps and the results can be seen here in a moment.

drum roll crescendo please

*drums roll and a lever is depressed [but is in therapy for it] releasing a sandbag suspended above the podium. The sandbag descends and a rope attachment whisks the sheet off the statue but the sandbag also hits a loose plank on the stage propelling Red Dog and the podium several feet up into the air. The bag bursts and a cloud of dust envelopes the scene. As the dust settles the onlookers can see a massive marble statue of a draped with a Texan flag. The statue is suspended in mid air by the forces of Art*

*A Dog and a Podium fall to earth*

Oooooof !

looks great, and done with style! thanks, boss.(21 boo salute? )
::gives the dog a hand up, then rushes off to light the eternal flame. teleports the statue to the dog house, to serve as inspiration for the new recruits.::

rushes back in, hands out ghost souvenier t shirts to the crowd, then fires up the BBQ grill. Boos all around.

posts a and drops off boos

posts a and drops off boos

you have to inform people of these things or they never work...give it some publicity

im glad i found it, but many wont....

hands him a boo, a stiffdrink, and a Red Dog t shirt.
I always just check user pages to see if they have a fan club. That's how I found your sites. Now they're some of my main "Places to Go".
I guess I ought to put you, Red Dog, and all the others on my user's space.

polishes the furniture, restocks the beer cooler, throws away the empties.
check this out.http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A658190 University!

*Admires the statue, while it was there. Helps himself to a boo.*

Say, did anyone else notice that the statue was missing a, um, you-know-what?

my maul must have slipped !

Yes, I guess you checked one, but you didn't check the maul.

the maul? How many was I supposed to have?
Besides, It's a profile. I refuse to have a busted bust.



(oh, yeh,...Postured in shocked feminine outrage. "You Perv!"
Hauls out a rocket launcher; learned a loong time ago that slapping a man does no good. You only hurt your hand and he just stands there, smirking at you, saying "Is that all?" in that infurriatingly male way...)

Red Dog, thank you for the compliment in the Dogs 'N' Ostriches thread.
You're one of the nicest people on H2G2 that I've ever met.
Here's a big juicy steak.

why thank you IST .... all genuinely felt - I was very very pleased when you decided to come back to h2g2.

*wolfs down steak in one bite*

Was the steak good? I got a free-for-all thread with robots only if you want to blow up a planet.

combining charming manners and a megalomaniacal taste for destruction on a global scale. what a guy

Obviously something to do with IST's upbringing

Thank you UH, Red Dog.
says thanks as well.

Well IST I think it time that we fully equip you with the ACF Trooper standard small arms. These have been designed by ACF soldiery themselves and the average ACF Trooper is able to make a selection of their personal weaponry from the ACF's well stocked armoury.

First up is the Hen Grenade - our Not-So-Smart Bomb and is composed of one stupid chicken and two sticks of dynamite. Sadly this ordnance has had mixed reviews in the field and is attracting a reputation for unreliability ... we`re therefore thinking of withdrawing it but have massive stocks of it that we`re trying to use up pronto.

Standard issue is completed by the Spud Gun which has been borrowed from the Potato Army and comes complete with a variety of settings from "Mash" to "Thick Cut" - useful from close in to long distance. It has been designed for optimum use of King Edwards but it can take a wide range of ammunition as well - Maris etc. In a pinch it`ll take potato saland as well.

We`re going to give you the chrome plated, pearl handled advanced model of the Spud Gun which comes complete with pneumatic assisted hopper feeds which can take up to 5lbs of spuds .