h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Last night I ran out of cigarette papers at my desk. I thought that there were some more downstairs somewhere, so I went to have look.

No joy.

Then I remembered that there were some in the car. As that was parked just outside the house, I didn't bother with putting any shoes or socks on.

The car wasn't 'just outside', it was 200 yards down the road. Oh well never mind, let's just pad down the road anyway.

I searched the car. No papers to be found, and now I'm getting annoyed. The only option was to start the car up and drive to the 24hour Tesco Express store on Dyke Road.

Yes, 'Dyke', 'Brighton', it's a funny joke, but only the first time around, ok

I buy two packs of Rizlas, have a smoke and drive home. Lovely.

I'm not going to park the car back down the end of the road. There is no point, as there is a space right by the house on the other side of the road. So I park there.

I step out of the car, and step straight onto a splinter of glass.

Oww! F*ck! B*ll*cks!

I hop to the house, hop up the stairs and into the bathroom, leaving a trail of blood splats behind me.

After a certain amount of fiddling with a pair of tweezers, and copious amounts of cotton wool to staunch the blood. I pull a sliver of glass from the ball of my foot right by my right big toe. It's about a centimetre long and very slender: probably less than a square millimetre at its thickest point.

I tape the wound up with some more cotton wool and a couple of plasters, have another couple of smokes and go to bed.

Today the foot is quite tender, and it's a bit red and inflammed around the wound site. I'm wondering if I should get it checked out, but I don't really fancy a 4 hour wait in Casualty tonight.

Did you put plenty of Dettol or iodine on it when you pulled the glass out?

Hmm... Normally smoking takes longer to do noticeable damage - hence why people carry on regardless. Perhaps you're going for the shortcut to fatal if you don't check whether that inflammation is a serious infection.

Sorry to hear about your mishap, GD. Sounds very uncomfortable!

I've got Neil the hippy singing in my head now

ooh, nasty. Do you have to go to casualty? I'd just drop in to your GP for a tetanus shot. They'll probably check it for you while you're there.

o you brits... when an american wants to put a hole in his foot, he does it the civilized way... with a gun!

Ouch! I do think you should get it checked out GD - a nasty infection is the last thing you need.

Why no shoes?

I would get it checked out if I was you. You never know the glass might have splintered and you still have some in the wound.

I remember when my phycho sister in law bit my finger off the amount of jabs I had to have....

For the record a human bite has more bacteria than a dog bite, plus a dogs bite contains antiseptic properties...

As for the glass it may have been contaminated by any thing, get it checked out while you still have a foot to get checked out.

Adib

I'll tell you what - you skip the Doctors' visit and I'll eat my chicken wings and we'll see who cops it first.

B

*closely watches the batter of wills regards the mouldy chicken wings versus septic foot I'd get it checked out though if your worried and its hurting or anything; GP should be able to ahndle a simple 'fresh wound'

I squeezed a small amount of pus out of the wound last night when I redid the plaster. This morning everything was fine, I can walk around on it with no pain at all. There is no swelling or redness. Crisis over

Light - I was wandering around outside barefoot because I thought that the car was just outside the house. It was only when I got out there that I realised that it wasn't. I recognise that I ought to have gone back in to put some shoes on before venturing further, but I thought that it would be all right at the time.

As for GPs, you can forget it around here The practice that I'm with is one that is manipulating the rules over access targets. The rules state that all patients should be seen by a GP within 24 hours. If a practice can demonstrate that it does this, it gets a cash bonus.

What my practice have decided to do is to only take appointments for that day. It will not take any appointments for the next or subsequent days. The upshot of this is that once a day's appointment book is full - ie by 8:15am - you will be turned away and told to ring up the next day. Therefore you've got sod all chance of seeing a doctor; and the practice can demonstrate that 100% of people booked in are seen that day and they get their nice fat bonus.

Greedy f*ckers

And I thought my doctors were bad because if the tells you to come back in a week, you can't book the appointment a week in advance. We can do a couple of days though - although they are normally booked up.

You can't just drop in to see the nurse though? And if you've got a pussy (pus-y?) foot, it is infected. Watch out for red lines racing towards your heart or brain.

Well my doctor is so bad you need an appointment to make an appointment.

You used to be able to walk straight in before 10 but now its impossible...

My doctor's have taken the approach of having 1 doctor so cr@p that no-one wants an appointment with him - therefore there is always a doctor available - you just have to be really desperate.

I've such a great GP, that I've always remained registered with him; when you have an appointment you'l always be half an hour or more late goign in; which is gret : he is the only docotr in the practise that ignore the '12 minute per appointment' thing set by the governemtn, and aspends as long as it takes with the paitent. As I say he's the only doctor I've ever found in terms of a GP who I trust, he's totally up to date (which none are I've found), despite his advancing years; If I need to see my GP therefore, its a two hour and a bit train ride back to Suffolk where the GP surgary is I just worry he might retire at some point

Well my old doctor who has retired was great. He used to write out the perscription as you walked from the door to his desk. Some how he always had the right thing written on there.....

Spooky. Witch doctor?

12 minutes?? My doctor only books 5 minutes per patient, although she also always runs late.

I'm housebound unless hubby takes a day off w**k to take me in. Went to the new GP about 18 months ago with 6 symptoms. He stopped me and said he could only deal with one symptom per appointment - I would have to decide which I was most worried about and make 5 more appointments, on 5 separate days, for the others - and I'd better hurry with the explanation because I'd used up most of my allotted 10 minutes walking from the waiting room to his office! .

I don't go in any more. I just write them letters - and I'm sure it takes them more than 10 minutes to deal with a letter