h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/vote_2005/frontpage/4514981.stm - is the front page of the BBC's Election 2005 news sub-site as of about lunchtime on polling day.

I feel that it is worth preserving in a 'cut and paste' form below as an example of the utter blandness that is required of the broadcast media when reporting any events whilst the polls are open on election day.

---------------------

Britain's voters heading to polls

Voting is under way in the UK general election after a 30-day campaign.

Polls remain open in 645 constituencies until 2200 BST, with the first results due at 2345. It will not be clear who has won until early on Friday.

Tony Blair has cast his vote in his Sedgefield constituency. Lib Dem leader Charles Kennedy voted in Fort William. Michael Howard is yet to vote.

Voting has been postponed in the 646th constituency, Staffordshire South, because one of the candidates died.

Any of the record six million people who elected to vote by post, but have not yet sent in their ballots, can hand them in at polling stations.


Leaders' votes

Local elections are also taking place in 34 county councils and three unitary authorities in England. There are also four mayoral contests.

There are also elections in all 26 councils in Northern Ireland.

Labour leader Mr Blair cast his vote, along with his wife Cherie and two sons Euan and Nicky, at the Trimdon Colliery Community Centre.

Mr Kennedy cast his vote along with his wife Sarah at the Caol Community Centre in Fort William in his Ross and Skye constituency.

Conservative leader Michael Howard will be voting in his Folkestone and Hythe constituency later.

There will be an increased police presence near polling stations in Westminster and other parts of London.

At the end of the last Parliament, Labour had 410 MPs, the Conservatives 164 and the Liberal Democrats 54.

The Three-Toed Sloth is an arboreal mammal, native to the tropical rain forests of Central and South America.

The Scottish National Party also have five seats, Plaid Cymru four, the Democratic Unionists seven, the Ulster Unionists five, Sinn Fein four, the SDLP three, and one each for Respect, Independent and Independent Kidderminster Hospital and Health Concern.


Postal votes

To gain a majority at this election, when boundary changes mean there are fewer seats available, one party needs to win 324 seats.

Sunderland South was the first to declare its result in 2001, just 43 minutes after the polls closed.

But the national picture of how the parties stand will not emerge until at least 0100 BST on Friday.

Attention will also be on turn-out, which in 2001 fell to 59%, the lowest level since 1918.

Election organisers hope postal voting will help turn-out, although there have been concerns about the security of the system against fraud.


Weather effect?

Voters taking the traditional polling station route are asked to take their voting cards, although other types of identification may be allowed.

People who have been sent postal ballots can still vote by delivering them by hand to a local polling station or the address on their envelope.

Previous elections suggest weather may have an impact on turn-out.

Cloud and patchy rain is forecast across much of the country on Thursday, although it should be dry in southern England.

Temperatures should range between 13 and 17 degrees centigrade.

In 1992, turnout was 78% on a generally dry and sunny day. Turnout was 71% in 1997, when again it was dry, sunny and very warm.

In 2001, the weather was very cool, with a brisk wind and blustery showers across the UK.

>>The Three-Toed Sloth is an arboreal mammal, native to the tropical rain forests of Central and South America.

Ha! I spotted that! You don't catch me out! You put that in there yourself, didn't you?


Geggs

Either that, or someone at BBC News has whipped it out pretty damn quick

'The Three-Toed Sloth is an arboreal mammal, native to the tropical rain forests of Central and South America.' I spotted it too BTW 'other forms of identification'? no thats a lie, I wsn't asked for a single bit of ID when I went to vote; didn't have my polling card, so I told them I didn't have it, and they just asked for my adress and name I could have voted in my Lodgers name.... actually, I wonder if i went back they'd recognise me probalby woudl

Well Geggs, I thought it was just a touch too bland as it was, and could do with a bit of spicing up

*ahem Mr Desk..*

I was wondering what your plans for the weekend were ?

Don't you talk to your other half

Yes we have a thread on h2g2 for that very purpose..

But we were wondering what time you'd be arriving, and if it would be saturday or sunday.

Really? I must go hunting...

It'll be Saturday. I've no idea what time, so don't wait in for me. I've got your mobile number (it ends with 79 doesn't it?) so I can keep you in touch with my progress up the M40.

Indeed it does..

If we could have some sort of ballpark time, it would be *really* helpful, if you could just let us know whether it would be afternoon or evening?

Also what do you fancy doing when you're here, Balti?

On Sunday I'll be going to my Grans for tea with Ben, believe me it will be, er, interesting, but you'll be glad you're spared it..

Z

OK, afternoon then.

Whilst I don't want to pressurise you into any particular time late afternoon would be marginally more convient for us than early afternoon.

I should point out that on election day, this is more or less all that you are allowed to report. Guidelines about impartiality are incredibly restrictive and allow you very little room for manoeuvre.

When I left work today, debate was raging about how stupid the business section of News 24 had been - at 6.45 well before the polls had closed - to dare to discuss interesting issues like William Hill offering odds on John Prescott punching somebody before the night is out.

(5-1, if anyone fancies a flutter)

((as a BBC employee, I know I'm fine posting after 2200 on 05.05.05))

Those odds are a bit on the short side if you ask me. On the betting front, I'm running a bet (I think at 11/4) that Boris Johnson will be photographed falling of his bicycle at some point during 2005

Z & Ben - Given my usual performance at getting to meets in the West Midlands, I think you can take 'late afternoon' as an absolute given

Now, you are sure you've actually got the right mobile number this time, aren't you?

Indeed. GD, could you possibly send me a text just to be sure.

Do you have B's mobile number? Shall I e mail it to you?

Shouldn't you be doing last minute panicked revision, young man?

Send a text? What with?