h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

No, it's the model number for the Siemens mobile phone that I've just bought today.

* hangs head in shame *

Yes, I know what I've said all these years about people who own mobile phones; and how it should involve walls and shooting, and stuff.

* hangs head in shame *

Well given the subject matter covered in my previous journal. It was felt within the family that it would quite a good idea if at least one member had a means of mobile communication; what with all the running around and sorting stuff out that has to be done in the next couple of weeks.

And after that: it's going in the drawer to gather dust. That's a promise, OK? So will you forgive me?

* hangs head in abject shame *

I have one which is switched on only when I need it Can't stand the damned things most of the time, but they are very useful when you really *need* to be contactable. Good idea for your present circumstances, I'd say GD

I'm torn. On the one hand they can be incredibly handy when you really need to communicate with someone and there's no payphone nearby. On the other hand it's so nice to be able to say 'I don't have a cellphone'. When you boil it down though, it's just another bloody bill, another piece of technology to not work when you need it to, and another reason to get mugged.

Oh, and you're forgiven btw

I forgive you too. I expect I'll even forgive you when you decide it's quiet handy after all and keep it around for a while longer.

I'll forgive you too, though I do let mine rule my life, it synchronises with my work PC and tells me where I'm meant to be when and what I ought to be doing.


Plus it has a really cool pic of a manderin duck as the bg screen at the moment! http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=manderin+duck&hl=en&btnG=Search+Images

I forgive you too but for a different reason, the A62 starts in Manchester first

My latest one is an A65 Siemens (also Noggin just bought the same model) and it's great.

Noggin also used to say that he had no use for this sort of thing, but he is now quite enjoying the option of being able to be in contact with people when he is out of the house. We both like being able to text message each other, for example.

Which I think is another nice mobile phone option as text messages aren't as intrusive as a phone call. They don't interrupt you when you don't feel like being interrupted, but if your land line phone rings you might feel more obliged to answer, even if the person on the other end only wants to just pass on a message about, well, whatever.

For me it's been great having a mobile phone because a large percentage of the new students/classes I've got, or new tenants for my flat next door, have happened when I was out of the house. And since those people are usually just 'going down the list' in ads placed, if you don't answer the call they will often just go to the next person who does answer their call and so . . . for me it's been quite good if they can catch me when I'm out shopping or whatever.

I know a lot of people can abuse mobile phone use - especially in cinemas! But I do wonder why people like you, GD, think they are somehow a bad thing.


az

I love that cellular phones replaced digital watches in the Hitchhiker movie.

I dropped my land line for a cell phone.

Of course I use less than 150 minutes per month so my problem is finding a cheap plan with my carrier.

They really do cater to the verbose crowd.

But here's a feature that I think needs to be added. It should be mandatory that peoples car license plates should be their cell number. And if you see them driving like an idiot you could pull over, text a code to their number and they'd get a nice electric shock to the ear.

Useless! F*cking useless! Absolutely f*cking useless!

Over the years I've wasted money on lots of things that were useless. But I can't remember ever wasting it on something that was both useless and designed to annoy the hell out of me all at the same time.

My God, all I want is a f*cking phone! I don't want menu this and scroll that, SMS - whatever the f*ck that is - and some other pointless TLA that comes with it, apparently.

What I want is button on and button off. That's it. That's all that's needed. Anything extra is a complete and total waste of my time.

I've bought what is supposed to be the simplest phone on the market. No bells, no whistles, no nothing. So why the f*ck can't they make it so that it actually works like a f*cking phone. What is the point of having a tiny button that does one thing if you press it at top, another if you press it at the bottom, a third if you press it in the middle and fourth if you press it and hold. What is the point!?

Then there are the instructions. What a f*cking laugh! "Press 'Clear' if you make a mistake", "Press 'OK' to confirm", it sweetly tells you. Well guess what you Orange dickwad: there's no button called 'Clear' and 'OK', so what I am I supposed to do now, huh?

Also there's no way of turning the bloody thing off that I've yet found; except ripping the battery out the back of it.

It's not even as if I can take it back to the shop and say I made a terrible mistake and can I have my money back, please. Because there's now a dent in it from where I dropped it at speed on the wall.

Jeez! Twenty five quid, thirty five when you count the credit, pissed eight feet up a wall.

F*ck it! When will I ever learn

Oh dear

Well their website seems fairly useless but it does mention an "auto off" feature.
Also, my phone doesn't have a separate off button. You just press and hold the on button. Does yours have an on button?

Do you know any teenagers? They'd have it sussed in 30 seconds flat.

Failing that, there must be someone subscribed to "Ask..." who owns the same model of phone. That was how I finally found out how to operate the key lock on mine. It will probably be something terribly simple that they assume they don't need to tell you, because it's something "Everyone" knows.

Poor Grey.

I'll get J to read the instructions, then drop him round for a cuppa while he sorts it for you.

But I understand what you're going through. I only want to text and phone, and they give you all sorts of drivel you don't want.

You can congratulate yourself for choosing Orange at any rate. Most of the others cut you off if you don't make a phone call at least evry 4 or 6 months and then charge £10/£15 to reconnect you

The thing that really annoys me is that it's going to fail on its main task. The plan was to leave the phone with Mum for the next couple of weeks, so that she's got a phone and doesn't have to sort all the legal and funeral arrangements via a payphone down on the sea-front.

Well If I can't operate it, then there isn't a hope in hell of my Mum being able to use it.

No, it's going to get tossed. I haven't decided quite what it's going to be - an 85mph impact somewhere along the A303 maybe; a trip round and round inside a microwave perhaps.

http://www.telekomunikacije.co.yu/pdf/siem_a62_eng.pdf

The highest button on the right (just below the screen) has on it a picture of a red phone with a red circle under it. That is your on/off button. (Press and hold).
It also appears to be your "Clear" button if you just press it briefly - as well as the one you use to end calls.

SMS is just text messaging. You can safely ignore it.

Pressing the # key locks your keys so you can't make a phone call by mistake. This is very important. Mine once pressed itself against something and made a £20 phone call by the time I noticed.

It probably isn't worth bothering with a PIN if you only plan to keep £10 credit on it. I've found PINs are more trouble than they're worth.

All you and your mum need to know is how to turn it on and off, answer calls (press the button with the green phone on it), end them (red phone) and make them (key in the (FULL) number and then press the button with the green phone).

Just ignore all the silly features. I do.

25 quid!? Cheap!


I paid over 150 equivalent for my last one. And that was trying to find the most utilitarian version I could find. I didn't want any video picture wotsits or much else. I barely found one without a camera.

But one thing I did look for was how intuitive its operating system and phone book were.

My last phone was designed by someone who doesn't speak English and it showed.

The phone book worked thusly:

I want to find the number my friend who is entered as "Rob Wotsit". Ok. so that should be alphabetised by the R since that's the way I entered it. There is only one "Rob" anything in my phone and any other names beginning with "R" come after so by simply pressing "r" it should go directly to "Rob Wotsit".

I press "r" and the first name that comes up is "Alec Nuthername"...

I you not!

Since there is an "r" in "Nuthername" and "A" for "Alec" comes before "R" for "Rob" Alec and every other "Harold", "Peter", "Earl" and "Kris" come before the first name that actually BEGINS with "R".

The rest of the phone worked no better.


By comparison I'm blissfully pleased with my new one.

I wouldn't know if twenty-five quid is expensive or not. I *do* know that it is twenty-five quid that I haven't got any longer. And on top of that the call charges are eye-wateringly expensive. At 30p per minute, all conversations (assuming I manage to get the f*cker working) will be positively monosyllabic!

Oh and Tefkat, thanks for the link. But I've already decided that the phone will die a horrible death