If I May Introduce Myself: The Great Grand Neice Of Naughtiness

Most people who consider themselves "naughty" and desire to be famous tend to christen themselves after charcaters in the Bible. This makes sense when you think of all the evidence supporting the idea that the Devil reads Scripture. However, few really seem to understand the message contained in the Book (Bible is Greek for Book, you see), which appears to me to be "God gets to do whatever he wants with you and you had better not complain about it." I don't like this idea. Thus, if not wicked, I certainly count as very very naughty by most standards I'm aware of.

If anyone has actually read the last book of the Book, which I doubt, they may recall a character who has suffered under decades of salutary neglect--namely, "MYSTERY, Babylon the Great," the mother of harlots and the general cause of every immoral, naughty, and otherwise fun thing on Earth.

I would not be so bold as to claim that ALL corrupt happenings on Earth are my doing-I haven't had nearly enough time yet. However, sin and wickedness generally abound wherever I go, and people seem to have a much better time with me than without me. So I concluded that I must be, if not the Mother of Harlots herself, then at least the Great Great Grand-Niece of All Harlots. Hence, the nom de guerre: Babylon the Small.

I tend to wander around doing whatever amuses me, posting to Usenet, insulting my friends in ways that make them happy, being sarcastic to my enemies in ways that make them cease being my enemies, and generally flirting with everything that walks and can speak English. (Or French.) (With some degree of success I might add.)

My religious views are bizarre enough to be branded as evil by even the least uptight of religious types-the same ones who never seem to speak ill of my Great Great Aunt Babylon, probably because they're queasy about insulting anyone's Mother. In the beginning Bog decided to build a world to amuse itself. So it blew itself up into an indeterminate number of fragments, some larger than others, and some grouchier than others, which explains the existence of all my -other-, non-evil aunts. Every being that now exists is, in a sense, a sock puppet of God, with which it amuses itself until such time as God gets bored with the world and puts us all back together again. After the end of the world we'll have a nice nap and probably wake up screaming.

So my brand of evil is unconventional, not to say positively lackadaisical. The fragment of Bog that is handling your particular sock puppet may or may not know what's best for you. It may be some broken-off bit of the sphincter of God for all I know. But the more fun you have during your existence, and the more you amuse whatever God-splinter has its hand up your sock, the more pleased God will be with itself generally when we all get back together and start putting our pajamas on.

So have fun. Make love. Make war, if you like. Obey the Eleventh Commandment. Or disobey it, just to see what happens. Try to be my enemy-it will amuse me. Post to Usenet and make some faceless nerd with a keyboard happy.

And by all means, walk on the grass.

Latest Messages

Conversations

Subscriptions

Friends

Babylon the Small has no Friends

See all Friends

Followers

Babylon the Small has no Followers

See all Followers

Bookmarks

This user has no Bookmarks

See all Bookmarks