h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hang on, wrong sort of stork.

Ah, yeah, that's the one.

I'm here! Your stalker! Consider yourself stalked!

She's a bit slow. Probably be here sometime tomorrow.

I noticed this in my conversation list and ignored it at first, I very rarely get involved (read that as 'have no interest in') threads about kids. I only like mine

So, how does this stalking thing work then? I think we need to discuss the finer points and details over several drinks first, just to make sure we're doing it right.

I can wait.

*starts singing*

Every step you take, I'll be watching you.

Cor, that's a bit *too* creepy. I'd be a crap stalker in RL!

Tell you what. You go to a pub (doesn't matter which: I'll find you) and we'll discuss it.

Nah, it's not working, I really can't do creepy.

Great! Everyone else gets the creepy stalkers, I get the serenading, considerate one!

Ah well, could be worse. Could be ReddyFreddy.

I wouldn't want to be indirectly responsible for RF getting the job.

*best stalker voice*

'So, do you come here often?'

No, that's wrong.

'An Englishman, Scotsman and Irishman walk into a bar.'



'I've seen your knickers on your washing line!'

Hmmm, a little better.

There you go! You're coming on in leaps and bounds. Might I suggest a trip to Millets in the morn to equip yourself with some stalkers paraphanalia, binoculors, camouflage beret (worn at a jaunty angle, obviously), flask etc.



Oh dear, time for me sleep. I'll leave a slight gap in the curtains, ofcourse. Anonymous phonecalls are optional

G'night.*waves to bushes*




I'm entering into this waaaay too much.

G'night.

*wonders if he should mention that he used to buy clothes from Millets in Margate*

Those padded check shirts are to die for aren't they?

I only just remembered that one of my first jobs was in Millets.
I only lasted the first week though, got my pay packet, went out partying and was too hungover to go in the next day. Then I just didn't bother going in again.

Who told you it was padded check shirts? Were you pre-emptively revenge stalking me in 1992?

Oooh no, I was pre-emptively stalking you since 1985 infact.

I had 2. A blue one and a green one. I took full advantage of staff discount, albeit for just a week.

Staff discount? But Millets was the cheapest shop around anyway!

I used to buy padded checked shirts, non-padded checked shirts (mainly red) & Lee jeans from there. I was ever so slightly ahead of being fashionable, in a grunge kinda' way.

1985? I wondered who that was on the ski lifts behind me on the school ski-trip to Italy.

Christ, you probably heard me singing along to Huey Lewis & The News!

So? Never was a girl to turn down a bargain. I got a housefull of crap I never necessarily wanted or needed, just because it was in the sale.

The coincidalities just don't stop. I too went on a ski-trip to Italy. Only it was 1979, Souxsie Sue, no, that's not right, Sauze d'Oulx it was. Hell of a time that.

And you should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself, I don't care how old you were, singing Huey Lewis songs is just plain wrong.

Hey you! Are you still stalking me or what?


I've just made a total pissed up arse of myself and you seem the perfect person to talk to about this.

That might be a compliment, who knows?

Who? Me? I can still stalk, but only in a very blurble kind of way.

Havinv said that, I really need to go sleep right now.

Pffft! Is there any other way than burble stalking?>rolleyes>

You're not in a fit state to make me feel any better about my arsedness are you?

Ach well, no matter. How was your evening?

Holy crap! Typing when your shit faced sure is hard innit? I suddenly have a whole new respect for you.

That's not to say I didn't respect you before, obviously

Oh marvelous! Just what I needed to hear.

There's nobody else to pick on.

Sorry! And here, 8 hours later, I'm nit a great deal beter!