h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

See, there are ways of feeling better

I'm not a rockie at getting better? I've been fixing myself since I was.... to young to remember

are your legs feeling any better?

Yes, thank you
My legs are problematic...They can walk allright, they can even run, but they can't still for longer than five minutes without hurting.
One of these days, we are going to have a serious talk about that. They have to shape up or I'll be forced to let them go and hire new ones....

well they have been entrusted employees for 20 years, perharps they just need a bit of help. Perharps you could hire a third leg to shake things up a bit.

It's a thought, but it could just cause more problems- what if they don't get along?
Not to mention I'll look majorly weird....

well obvously you won't be using all 3 legs at the same time (that would be plain silly) but use two at a time in teams (one day the two old legs, next day an old and the new and the day after that the other old leg and the new leg.... then start over). Inform them that after a month one leg will be fired, that should make them shape up

Good idea!
I'll do that...Now I just need to put an add in the paper: "leg wanted".

only problem is exactly how do you wish to interview the applicants for the job?

Hmmmmm....
A trial period?

you could make it either a jumping contest (highest or how long) or a standing contest...... that way you can at least win a lot of jumping on one leg contests or standing on one leg contests

I will have to jump very fast to get away from the people coming to lock me up in a nice padded room upon seing my add

I thought people where allready trying to lock you up in the room?

I can't be sure, they are not here yet.
At least I don't think they are....

*sneaks behind evil_tiger_lily*

*jumps on her, holds her down and tickles her*

did I scare you

naaa if they where there you would be typing this from the comfort of a nicely padded cell

How do you know that's not the case?

because it would be plain silly if people would hunt you down to put you into a padded cell if you where actually allready sitting in a padded cell

Maybe they want to put me in a paded cell with a different colour scheme, say done in pastels instead of the traditional white...

mmmm it's a posibility, how about green walls with pink and yellow spots?

but then they could just transfer you, they wouldn't actually need to chase you

Perhaps they just enjoy it...Even the people in the white labcoats must have fun....
Interesting sugestion....But I think they use this particular scheme for people more advanced then myself, if you know what I mean.

I know it's what I would do if I wore a white labcoat, I would also arrang e races (for people in wheelchairs and people with one leg)..... oh and stand behind people who hear voices in their heads and talk to them, make them do the cleaning and make coffe and tea.... not to mention what I would do on my stroll though town

I think that particular room are for people who think they see yellow and pink spots everywhere while being green/white colourblind...... that or people you just really don't like