h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I am not prone to cynicism, but some days I feel less tolerant of the human race than others. Today is one of those days. Let me explain that.

A friend of mine once said, with a sort of gasp (she was that kind of girl), 'You know, you wouldn't hurt a fly. But you are brutally honest.' This statement had more force, since she delivered it in a cute Texas accent reminiscent of Sissy Spacek.

But it's true - and I'm about to be brutally honest. I am disgusted with the level of intelligence being displayed by the denizens of western civilisation.

What brought all this on? A 'viral' video. Meaning, 'Guys, this is SO cool, this is REALLY cool, this is so immediately, mind-bogglingly addictive a piece of information that you CAN'T not watch it. Or pass it on. I'm getting a thrill just sharing it with you, because I feel part of it ALL. I feel so CONNECTED.' Yeah, whatever.

I don't watch the particular piece of animated trash in question - correction, I would have to be forced to do so at gunpoint - so of course I didn't know that this programme had run a HILARIOUS version of the Boston Marathon a few weeks back. In this side-splitting episode, inventively titled 'Turban Cowboy' (who could resist?), the main character 'wins' the Marathon by driving over the runners with his car. Later, he is given a mobile by a terrorist, calls a number and sets off a couple of bombs.

Subtle? Naturally. Witty? Of COURSE. That's exactly what people mean by witty, isn't it? And perfectly innocent, if only Something Bad hadn't happened to make this harmless, clever humour look like, er, bad taste?

The mashups appeared on Youtube. The mashups were removed from Youtube. Copyright was protected - because it isn't about ideas, it's about money, naturally. And the creator of this oh-so-wonderful TV series calls the mashups 'abhorrent'.

Funny. 'Abhorrent' is my usual reaction to that programme.

This is not, however, the bit that would make one cynical.

Or despairing of the intelligence of the human race.

It's this: The web and Youtube have now exploded with claims that the Boston Marathon attacks were a 'false flag' operation staged by the Illuminati. I am not making this up. Google 'Boston Marathon Illuminati'. Include the name of this TV show and you'll find the programme implicated in a 'leak' of the presumed 'coverup'.

Is nothing sacred? Once upon a time, it was possible to enjoy a good conspiracy theory. The Grassy Knoll was always good for an hour of speculation. Angry astronauts punching out tinfoil-hat Moon Hoaxers made you chuckle. Following the clues in a good argument sharpened your reasoning powers far better than doing crosswords.

This just makes you cry.

Oh, go watch that dumb TV show, if you will. I can't think any less of the human race right now.

for the warning, Dmitri. I should now be able to avoid this

I often wonder whether people have to suffer a war before they get a sense of perspective.

I once aired this iea to my late father-in-law, who lost a leg as a German soldier in WWII. He agreed before I could even finish my sentence.

It would certainly give people a different sense of humour, I expect.

I've done some googling

I can see why you are feeling as you are

Lord only knows what they will make of this then

A letter addressed to US President Barack Obama containing a "suspicious substance" has been intercepted.

Initial tests on the letter, identified at a remote facility, showed the presence of the lethal toxin ricin.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-22190031

We were just chasing that one down, too, Peanut.

Apparently, people send stuff to government officials in the mail. As if they think these people open their own mail. The Post Office sequesters the government's mail for that reason - it's hazardous.

Castor beans grow here, and they're poisonous. They grind them up and put them in the letters.

One report says it's the same person, probably, who mailed one to a senator not long ago. I suspect they'll be paying this person a visit.

It has been commented on Ask how easy it is rig up a crude but effective explosive, it is also frighteningly easy to make something so toxic.

Well, sure. Amazingly, the planet is not child-proof.

What I want to know is: why do so many people take that as an invitation?

The planet isn't child-proof, I love that

Because they can, people do, I can find no justifications for it, clearly they can.

There's an old hippie manual on setting up communes (I read it online, but won't share the title for obvious reasons) which includes instructions on building bombs.

It also has a paragraph on how nobody would ever use them to hurt people, of course, just cause property damage to capitalists.

So naive, those hippies...

I know this publication of which you speak. I remember it in hardcopy - and last night, Elektra pointed out that it was available online, which she found unfortunate.

Don't stick beans in your ears, kids. Don't build potato guns. Etc...

Somebody may have *called* those people hippies. But hippies do not build bombs. I remember when they called The Manson Family hippies. Ridiculous!

I don't know which show it is you're talking about, but it sounds just like the kind of shows I never bother watching, because that kind of humour just doesn't speak to me ('no, you see, it's funny because he killed people and they say the word '... no thanks). But I wouldn't despair of people just because they jump to conspiracy theories. Yes, it's stupid (as all these conspiracy theories are), and in a way it is also quite offensive, but I don't think it's as widespread as the internet might make it seem.



Mostly posting, though, because of a different sort of coincidence that sprang to my mind after I read about the bombs being made from pressure cookers.
The very brilliant webcomic XKCD has a weekly section called 'What If' where the (very brilliant) creator answers odd scientific questions, such as 'What would happen if you tried to hit a baseball pitched at 90% the speed of light?' - and just the other week the question was, basically, 'what's the worst thing that can happen with a pressure cooker'. http://what-if.xkcd.com/40
Of course, he makes no mention of improvised bombs (he's into more interesting and obscure things than that...) but still, it feels odd reading that after that recent bit of news.

Just read the XKCD, eek.

Yeah, there was a certain 'eek' there even to begin with (but more in a 'oh wow, this is terrible, but cool' sort of way), but now after the pressure-cooker bombs it gets a whole new level of 'eek'-ness.

Absolutely.

During my science lessons at school we learned how to make explosions, by accident. Science can be used for terrible purposes, but also for incredible good.

Well, duh.

My grandmother was an expert at creating pressure cooker missiles. The way she did it was this:

We'd snap a mess of green beans. She'd throw in a few potatoes, salt, water, and bacon grease (of course). then set up the pressure cooker, turn on the stove, and go into the next room to chat with her daughter-in-law.

Now, everybody knows that when a pressure cooker reaches a certain temperature, the steam will start escaping, causing the little bob-thingy on the top to dance around and whistle. You go back into the kitchen and turn down the heat. Simple.

My grandmother was vprofoundly hard of hearing.

The first thing you knew, there was a loud sound. This was caused by the bobber hitting the ceiling. After that, escaping steam. Then it was safe - and prudent - to dash into the kitchen, turn off the fire, and place the pressure cooker under running water. So that eventually the seal could be opened.

The farmhouse kitchen ceiling told a story: it was battle-scarred from my grandmother's cooking.