This is the Message Centre for Saint Patrick Patron Saint of Depression: Here to haunt your dreams and stalk your waking hours

Hi

Post 21

Suz - *is gone*

yep


Hi

Post 22

Saint Patrick Patron Saint of Depression: Here to haunt your dreams and stalk your waking hours

how are you doing?


Hi

Post 23

Suz - *is gone*

Ok, i suppose.you?


Hi

Post 24

Saint Patrick Patron Saint of Depression: Here to haunt your dreams and stalk your waking hours

Have been better.


Hi

Post 25

Suz - *is gone*

Whats up?


Hi

Post 26

Saint Patrick Patron Saint of Depression: Here to haunt your dreams and stalk your waking hours

My entire future is decidedly dodgy at the moment...


Hi

Post 27

Suz - *is gone*

Lol,mine isnt looking amazing.1 gcse .can it be worse than that?


Hi

Post 28

Saint Patrick Patron Saint of Depression: Here to haunt your dreams and stalk your waking hours

Why only one and why do you intend to fail?


Hi

Post 29

Suz - *is gone*

because I had a nervous breakdown 2 years ago which kind of f*cked up my education


Hi

Post 30

Saint Patrick Patron Saint of Depression: Here to haunt your dreams and stalk your waking hours

I am really sorry to hear that. Come here *gives a hug*


Hi

Post 31

Suz - *is gone*

Lol...you're really getting into this hugging buisness arent you?? *hugs you back*.


Hi

Post 32

Saint Patrick Patron Saint of Depression: Here to haunt your dreams and stalk your waking hours

I have always been that kind of person.


Hi

Post 33

Suz - *is gone*


Hi

Post 34

Saint Patrick Patron Saint of Depression: Here to haunt your dreams and stalk your waking hours

No don't get me wrong, I wasn't having a go at you come here smiley - hug


Hi

Post 35

Suz - *is gone*

Why isnt anything I do good enough? If I stay being nice and take the "f*ck off"s and other name calling then I get so trampled on I that I get depressed and ect ect, if i bite back then Im automatically the irrational b*tch. If I carry on taking it, I get told to f*ck off, if I do what they ask then they say Im being an irrational,selfish little princess.
Why does my hurt and pain have to be assumed to be inferior to everyone elses? My Dad spent years screwing up my head, telling my if I ever let anyone inside my head then they'd know what a little sh*t I was, how I didnt deserve to be on the earth, how I can only enflict pain and suffering. But psychologists and supposed friends say "No, I know you're not like that" ect ect ect. THEN THEY TURN ROUND AND SAY THINGS TO BACK HIM UP AND AGREE WITH HIM.
If I let people in,they use the vunerablility to their advantage. If I dont let people in they get hurt and think I dont care and that Im selfish.
I cant even commit suicide properly. 7+ times and has it done a sodding thing? no <well,the last one was on Fluoxetine , so i was half asleep for the next 2 days <I stopped @ 12 tablets because someone sent me a txt message saying something that I knew was a lie, but hey.
So anyway, you're bored with me now too.See you.


Hi

Post 36

Saint Patrick Patron Saint of Depression: Here to haunt your dreams and stalk your waking hours

No I am not bored with you, You aren't an irrational, selfish "little princess". I didn't mean to mouth off at you. I really am sorry if you think I am attempting to pass judgement on you. I can't really. My dad is screwing with my mind at the moment. Your hurt and pain don't have to be and are not to be assumed inferior to everyone elses. I don't think it is inferior. I am sorry that you say being nice and taking the "f**k off"s and other name calling means you get trampled on and depressed etc. Suicide is not the way out otherwise he has won. It is the way I view it at least, when I have been close to. Come here smiley - hug. I really hope I have been helpful, if not please talk to me I really do care. I am not just saying it


Hi

Post 37

Suz - *is gone*

smiley - hug S'ok, it wasnt aimed @ you, I just had the reply window open and I was annoyed with my friends.
Hows your dad screwing with you?
I care too......so offload...


Hi

Post 38

Saint Patrick Patron Saint of Depression: Here to haunt your dreams and stalk your waking hours

It is finances esentially we rely on him to pay maintenance and our school fees to keep going. Now I am attempting to choose universities I really need to know how things stand. I sent 2 letters to him and he replied to only the most trivial point on the whole lot, ignoring the important things. So I went to a lawyer and learnt what I already feared, he has no obligation to pay at all. I am obviously stressed about this in addition to the exams and the constant fights between my mother and brother. Ultimately, I am getting quite down about it all.


Hi

Post 39

Suz - *is gone*

Does your mother have to pay him anything?
We went through this a year or so ago with my dad, he left saying he'd give us £500 a month, then told us we needed to pay him £1000 a month for him to live. This was before the divorce so they were just separated. When it finally got round to sorting out the money, it turned out he did have to pay us, so he started whining about his pension <he took medical retirement and his pension is twice what we get to live on every month, so we did end up having to pay for him . He'd also run up £60 000+ worth of debt so he was whining about that too. When it got to the actual court case he insisted that he needed more to live on than us <he wanted us to move to a 2 bed flat <> while he got a 4 bed house with a garden because he'd "been working hard" for us and deserved "a better standard of living than the s**t cottage" he was in <.hm, a holiday cottage with en-suite......s**t....>. Anyway, we ended up having to pay his debts off , but nothing else.
Even though your dad doesnt legally have to pay, dont his morals dictate he should? How is he with your brother about things like this?
it'll be ok.............just dont get bogged down with financial stuff, its not your responsibility, and I know thats going to go through one ear and out the other coz it does with me . but really, it'll be ok, im assuming you go to private school? I dont know much about private school fees not going to one, but is there a dramatic difference between private school fees and university fees?
Anyway, enough of my waffle smiley - hug it'll be ok smiley - hug
cya


Hi

Post 40

Saint Patrick Patron Saint of Depression: Here to haunt your dreams and stalk your waking hours

No my mom doesn't fortunately. The fees aren't that different I believe, he might actually pay less. Oh yeah my brother what he sees as the 'weak link' in our family is going to see him today to get money off him. If I went I wouldn't get ought basically because I hate his guts, we have major rows. Also David hasn't knocked him out and dragged him out the house. But I haven't done that of late due to complete apathy and the facthe fortunately hasn't been around much.


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