A hundred thousand "hello"'s.
Patience has always been a virtue of mine. I wasn't born prematurely. I wait my turn in conversation. Sometimes (just sometimes, mind), I even venture into work, a place so mind-numbingly, magnolia-paintedly boring that there are doodles on the toilet ceiling. There is, however, one thing that makes me clench, my buttocks, grit my teeth and ball my fists. No, not THAT, y'filthy beggars. It goes like this: I'll be walking along the street humming a nifty little ditty to myself when I spot a clipboard. You always notice the clipboard before the person attached to it (in Glasgow, it stands you in good stead to know that it's unadvisable to walk with your eyes at face-level of others). I, being the streetwise and savvy person that I am, will swerve to avoid said clipboard but, like a flat, oblong exocet, it will track me, facing me, mocking me. A conversation will ensue, never as short as I'd like and generally ending in abrupt tones that I'd never use in conversation with a normal person (not a disembodied clipboard) and then I'll be on my way, seething with a quiet rage directed more at myself than them.
It took me a while to figure out what the problem was. After much city-centre testing, I was left with only one avenue of research. I donned a cap and wandered the town with trepidation. One clipboard, two clipboards, three, I slinked by them all with growing confidence each time. Four clipboards, five. Easy. I got cocky, thinking that the curse was lifted and took off my hat, striding confidently down the street. Within seconds I was jolted by the words, "Excuse me, do you have a mo....". I turned quickly to find myself staring down the flat underside of my nemesis. I was beaten.
I suppose you wonder where this is going. Do I have a point? The answer is "yes". And the moral is thus: It doesn't pay to be ginger.
Conversations
| Conversation Title | Latest Post | Latest Reply |
|---|---|---|
| Questions for God | May 16, 2005 | Mar 22, 2010 |
| Forum: Galloways appearance at the Senate commitee in the US. | May 17, 2005 | May 18, 2005 |
| Excuse me, do you have a mo?? | No Posting | May 13, 2005 |
| The Trampoline: Humankind's best friend? | May 10, 2005 | May 12, 2005 |
anonymousbosch
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