h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hmm... intriguing propostion... I'm sold! Eleven seventy-five per question please.

That's certainly an odd number. Is it divisible by anything? Three, perhaps?

I believe I'm the one asking the questions here

But belief and conviction are two different things, and I'm convinced your negotiating price is far too low.

Aim low. That's my motto. Makes the fall much shorter.

I thought autumn was a standard three months. Have things changed that much under the Bush administration?

I'm not under the Bush administration. As far as it is my knowledge, I have never been under a Bush at all.

That's odd. That's not what I heard down at the last Ladies Auxiliary meeting. Apparently you've been spotted rooting around under the town shubbery, my dear.

Who hasn't been between those limbs, I ask you?

*does a double take*

Oh, oh, my dear! I do apologise. I mistake shubbery for shrubbery! I wasn't aware that the town had a town shubbery. Although, yes, that does explain that giant placard

*giggles*

*reassumes composure*

Why yes. It's right next to the town fountin and relecting pool.

The relecting pool, yes of course. Makes choosing the mayor so much easier.

We simply toss the candidates in and whoever puts p in the ool wins! It's democracy at work, I tell you.

Well, something must be working, that's for sure. Survival of the fittest.

Yes, I'm sure Darwin had our town's mayoral race in mind while he watched the tortoises of the Galapagos Islands cavorting. Which raises the following important question: Can a tortoise cavort?

I imagine so, although it would most likely looks as if it was coveting cavorting

That's quite an awkward sentence.

Who's calling the kettle awkward?

The pot. Who else? The persimmon?

for a moment i was thinking that it was the persnicker.