h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

No! Don't reel! You're going to step on m- *smooshity*

I would apologise, except I remembered suddenly who introduced dynamite to the dynamic in the first place.

*moves over, sits down, helps up*

Stars! And birdies!

And cats? *pops skeletal structure back into place with a shrug*

I see three s...I wish I didn't.

3 Cats: Oh yes. You're probably seeing Claw, EvilClaw, and Bocaj Claw. Your disorientation must have allowed you to see past the veil of reality. You have seen the Claw council. You can't be allowed to reveal our nature.

A trinity? Oh, no!!!!!

*in unison*: If you'll allow us, we will have to wipe your mind of this knowledge. Believe us, you'll be better off not knowing of our/Claw's plans.

No, I'm afraid I'll have to live with it. minds are incapable of rewiring.

Then you must be assimilated. *various other members of the Claw council appear: Id, Ego, Superego, Santa Claws, NotEvilClaw, et cetera*

*You* may be a solipsist, but I *do* exist independently of you - let's just make a treaty of mutual support.

Claw: Solipsist?
Bocaj: We're listening.
Santa Claws: Speak for yourself *puts earphones back on*

So - treaty?

Claw: Solipsist?
EC: We would prefer none to know about the existance and nature of the Claw Council. You must promise not to expose us.

I have conveniently forgotten about more xenophobic cultures than you could possibly imagine.

The answer is yes.

We are not xenophobic. We simply have plans that need secrecy to complete! Secrecy and a good memory booster! None of us have great memories and SANTA was supposed to be taking notes! He checked his list twice instead! Bah!

You will awaken soon with no memory of having forgetten everything, because you wouldn't have forgotten everything... so you wouldn't have a memory of something that didn't happen, see?

Pull the other one, it has bells on! Your so-called secrets are safe with me!

* exits, stage left, in order to perform important cleaning maintenance on small *

*the cats fade* EvilClaw: Pull the other what now? And why were you standing there talking to yourself as I attempted to steal your wallet. Darn thing is too heavy to cart off quickly enough.

IF you want gold, just ask Anole!

all clean and fluffy now.

Asking takes the fun and neurosis out of it. I'm off to investigate the coffers.

HAve fun!

* munches tater chips*